Saturday, January 12, 2013

Breaking News: Lance Armstong To Admit Cheating

Stop the presses!

News flash: Lance Armstrong Guilty of Doping!


Everybody knew that?


Oh well...

Lance “Cheat To Win” Armstrong plans to admit to doping throughout his career, which included something like 118 overall wins in the Course des Tricheurs pre-nut cancer and another 75 post-nut cancer, during an upcoming interview with Oprah Winfrey, USA Today reported late Friday.

The interview, scheduled to be taped Monday and broadcast Thursday night on the Oprah Winfrey Network, will be conducted at Armstrong's home in Austin, Texas.

OWN? Really? We aren’t disrepecting Oprah ‘cause Oprah’s Oprah, but...Oprah? The OWN network?  Do we even have that at T.A.H. Worldwide Media Headquarters???

ESPN and 60 Minutes must have been all booked up...

(Voice off camera: Peyton Manning you just won the Super Bowl, what are you gonna do next? Manning: I’m going on Oprah!!!!)

Citing an anonymous source, USA Today reported that the disgraced cyclist plans to admit to using performance-enhancing drugs but likely will not get into details of the allegations outlined in a 2012 report by the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency that led to Armstrong being stripped of his seven Tour de France titles and banned for life from the sport.

His representatives declined comment late Friday, but Armstrong sent a text to The Associated Press early Saturday morning saying: "I told her (Winfrey) to go wherever she wants and I'll answer the questions directly, honestly, candidly. That's all I can say."

The New York Times first reported last week that Armstrong was considering making a confession.
Armstrong, 41, who vehemently denied doping for years, has not spoken publicly about the USADA report that cast him as the leader of a sophisticated and brazen doping program on his U.S. Postal Service teams that included use of steroids, blood boosters and illegal blood transfusions.

Winfrey's network announced Tuesday that Armstrong agreed to a "no holds barred" interview with her.

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