Duke To Tear Down Cameron Indoor Stadium

SERIOUSLY, IT LOOKS HAUNTED (Lance King/Getty Images)

Sources in Durham, tell the top brass at T.A.H. Worldwide Media LLC that Duke plans to tear down venerable Cameron Indoor Stadium and build a new Mike Krzxghn6ski American Express Arena Palace Stadium on the same site.

When asked why the famous basketball power with the beloved head coach would demolish one of ACC’s basketball’s greatest icons, a source close to Duke (at least geographically) said “because it’s old and crappy.”

The new arena will be butt-ugly glass and chrome monstrosity that will seat 108,714 normal people or 138,963 Cameron Crazies.  The capacity is 1 seat larger than Cowboys Stadium when configured for basketball (108,713).

The new arena will also feature a 2,101 inch video screen (1 inch larger than the massive one in Cowboys Stadium) and will feature Clockwork Orange-style Duke basketball highlights which will be shown 24 hours a day, seven days a week. 

REMINDS US OF A HIGH SCHOOL GAME IN INDIANA (Lance King/Getty Images)

Word form Chapel Hill is Ol’ Roy and the University Chancellors are already looking to update the Dean Smith Center with a “clear court” which will accommodate luxury suites under the playing surface.

*Items in italics may not be true. 

Didn't Lance King/Getty Images play for Duke? 

Or are we making that up?