Wednesday, September 12, 2012

ACC Mulls Name Change (Again)

NEWLY-DECORATED GOLDEN DOME IN SOUTH BEND
As we reported back in February, sources close to the ACC have told T.A.H. Worldwide Media LLC (for a very small stipend) that the ACC was close to changing the conferences name to the A(ME)CC – the Atlantic Mountain East Coast Conference, right after non-Atlantic Coast schools Pittsburgh and Syracuse announced they were leaving the Big East for the old ACC (we once knew and loved).

Those same sources (for even a smaller fee) now claim that the ACC is in meetings contemplating another name change to take effect when Notre Dame officially becomes a member of what used to be known as the Atlantic Coast Confernce.

The new(est) name for the seemingly ever-expanding conference that once was home to a mere eight schools located in North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland and South Carolina is rumored to be the Atlantic Mountain East Coast Midwest Conference or the A(ME)C(M)C.

“Well, like everything we do,” (allegedly) said Commissioner John Swofford, “this makes perfect sense. A(ME)C(M)E kind of rolls of the tongue, doesn’t it?”

Further clamor in cyberspace suggest there was a move to include the words “Catholic,” “Indiana,” "Golden Dome" and “Leprechaun” in the conference name, but Swofford (allegedly) denied that (allegedly) saying, “We wanted the name to be geographically specific and leave the door open for further expansion in case an Ohio State or Florida or Baylor or Nebraska wants to come join us in the future. We've completely ruled out West Coast teams...for now.”

“The S.E.C. being the South Eastern Conference and having a team from Texas, which is Midwest to some and Southwest to others, is ridiculous, borderline stupid, if you ask me,” (allegedly) scoffed Swofford mocking his football-heavy rivals to the south.

*Items in italics may not be true.  

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