Quote Of The Day

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"Obviously, we set the pace early with my all-time wins record and the never-ending, fawning media hoopla over that, and I think we've been able to stay consistently repellent since then."

 – Duke head coach Mike Krzrxc9ski, who told The Onion that while it is still early in the season, he has not seen a Duke team this unlikable in many years, and he is optimistic about the Blue Devils' chances to grow even more repulsive and annoying with practice...

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What?

The Onion isn’t real…?

Crap.

*Items in italics may not be true.