|TRESSEl (Jamie Sabau/Getty Images)|
“I put a kid who was a jack ass, a fully-clothed jack ass mind you, whose father was also a jack ass in a shed, and I got s***-canned. What’s up with that?” – Former Texas Tech head coach Mike Leach.
“Really, a bunch of our future NFL players went to San Diego at the expense of current NFL players and you run us both out of town…REALLY?” -- Former North Carolina head coach Butch Davis and former Athletic Director Dick Badour.
“Oh yeah, AND a couple of our kids cheated and plagiarized, but they did it with adults, with their damn clothes on…” -- Former North Carolina head coach Butch Davis and former Athletic Director Dick Badour.
“Alright…and one of our assistant coaches was sort of acting like an agent…sort of.” -- Former North Carolina head coach Butch Davis and former Athletic Director Dick Badour.
“Is Butch gone? I just want to say that I got run out of town for not knowing what Butch said he didn’t know so how was I supposed to know? Seriously!.” -- Former UNC Athletic Director Dick Badour.
|FRIEDGEN (Jim McIsaacs/Getty Images)|
“All I did was win nine games including a bowl game and I didn’t shower with a minor nor did I ignore my assistants allegations no matter what that d***-head Edsall says.” -- former Maryland head coach Ralph Friedgen.
“Debbie Yow can kiss my a**. Oh, the question was about scandals…OK, I didn’t have any scandals and I won the National Championship, so Debbie Yow can kiss my a***!” – former University of Maryland basketball coach Gary Williams.
“I got a four game suspension for driving a 1990 Toyota Camry with 177,000 miles on it…can you say piece of s***….No, not the NCAA, the car! But…now that you mention it…” -- Boise State sophomore wide receiver Geraldo Boldewijn.
“OK, I lied to the NCAA about having my fully-dressed kids over to my house for a completely appropriate non-contact BBQ, and I got fired. Now I’m working for a grocery store chain. Joe Pa is too damn old to be lifting banana boxes.” – Former Tennessee head coach Bruce Pearl.
“Dude laid out a bedazzled yacht and some jamming bling-bling ho’s for some of the U’s finest ‘student athletes.’ Not to mention some cold hard CASH. You gotta problem with that?” – Current University of Miami, President Donna Shalala.
|JUNKER (Tom Tingle/AP Photo)|
“Hey the little short lady from South Florida just said something about prostitutes…can I get in on that action? – John Junker, former chairman of the Fiesta Bowl.
“Yes, I offered money for sex, but the hooker was an adult of legal age. Unfortunately, turns out she was also a cop.” – Former Southern University and NFL player Greg LaFluer.
“It’s true, my bat s*** idiotic old man tried to sell me to Mississippi State, but I went to Auburn, so what’s your point?” – Former Auburn quarterback and NFL rookie sensation Cam Newton.
“Did Kim sell my Heisman Trophy, I can't find it anywhere…what? They took it back?” -- Former Heisman Trophy winner and USC tailback Reggie Bush to Kim Kardashian’s mother.
“Damn it, is my tie at the dry cleaners again?” – Al Golden, head coach at the University of Miami.
“Wait…I’m not supposed to be at this press conference.” – Al Golden, head coach at the University of Miami.