Tuesday, August 23, 2011

T.A.H. Worldwide Media Headquarters Undamaged By Rare Rouge Booster Earthquake

T.A.H HEADQUARTERS EXTERIOR - before earthquake.
T.A.H. Worldwide Media Headquarters located in Warrenton, VA was undamaged by the 5.9 earthquake that emanated from nearby Mineral, VA.  Rumors currently circulating claim the earthquake was started near Charlottesville when former UVA star Ralph Sampson decided to finally pay all his back child support.  Residents in the small rural town of Mineral were not pleased.

“He could of warned us for cryin’ out loud,” said an unnamed citizen headed to next major metropolis – Culpeper, VA.

T.A.H. Worldwide Headquarters is located 55 miles from the epicenter of the quake.

Engineers from Virginia Tech and Georgia Tech are scheduled to inspect the beloved location to insure that no damage occurred that might interrupt publication or, worse yet, cost the publisher some serious coin for stupid repairs.

To offset potential  repair costs, T.A.H. is establishing the T.A.H. Worldwide Self-Relief Fund. Donations will be accepted by Mastercard and VISA.  Any unused funds will be retained by T.A.H. Worldwide Media LLC’s stockholders.

T.A.H. HEADQUARTERS EXTERIOR - after earthquake.
The freak East Coast earthquake comes just one day after T.A.H. sources claim it rained frogs in Sri Lanka during a cricket match featuring Tom Cruise as a guest “Magnolia Bowler.”

Unpublished accounts that the media juggernaut was planning to assemble a world class team of martial artists and Harlem Globetrotters for a good will tour of the Far East only to have the plan scuttled by today’s earthquake were seriously exaggerated.

Local Republicans blamed President Obama claiming he orchestrated the natural phenomenon to interrupt the local primary.

Others blamed Al Qaeda, noting it was a genius plot to attack the North Anna Nuclear Power Plant.  

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