Friday, March 25, 2011

Duke Fan: The Night Everything Went Wrong

Alas, on occasion some core constituents complain that posts on T.A.H. are too long.  Being a journalist by education, and, at times by trade, we scoff at this notion.  No…loyal reader, you are not too busy to read and learn.

That said, everyone is busy so we do strive to produce the  maximum amount of info in minimal words in an attempt to make your experience here entertaining, educational and as efficient as possible.

An then there is Duke fan shane.spr8 who writes a blog called “Seth Curry Saves Duke.”

Shane, does not give a rat’s a** how busy you are and, evidently, he believes you are going to read his carefully chosen words.  All of them…THOUSANDS of them.

For example, here is the T.A.H. analysis of why Duke lost to Arizona.  It goes like this:

Curry, Smith, Kelly, Plumlee.02
 (Harry How/Getty Images)
Arizona played lights out.  First that Williams kid, then everybody else.  They out hustled, out defended and out rebounded Duke.  The Devils shot poorly from behind the arc – their well-documented Achilles heel.  Nolan Smith had a bad game. Kyrie Irving isn’t 100%.  Seth Curry is hurt.  Duke recruits too many big white guys who underperformed (Plumlee.01, Plumlee.02 and Kelly.01).  Usually, Smith, Singler and (insert third Duke player here) play and score well enough to compensate for the lack of production from (insert fourth and fifth Duke player here).  Not last night. 

That’s pretty much the whole story: 93 words.

Then there is shane.spr8, who in his post titled “The Night Everything Went Wrong” lists the reasons Duke lost.

1. Arizona's ungodly play
2. Nolan Smith's disappearance
3. Mason Plumlee reverting to Plumblef*** the Younger
4. Seth Curry's injury
5. Miserable defense
6. Poor rebounding
7. Coaching/Strategy
8. Refereeing
9. Kyrie Irving's least favorite science: Chemistry

Singler, Smith, Plumlee.01, Dawkins and Irving
\(Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images)
Not bad, 37 words including a shot at Coach K and the officials.  Very Dukesque. 

Then shane.spr8 goes about explaining all of this and that required an additional 3,713 words.  Not a misprint, that’s 3,750 words total.

While we are quick to recognize that unbridled partisanship is the primary nutrient of zealacy (that’s “zealot” combined with “lunacy”), the length and breadth of this particular diatribe is nothing short of mind boggling.  And the minds around T.A.H. don’t boggle all that readily.

Evidently, the (blue) devil really is in the details.

Nice, shane.spr8, NICE!

To read all 3,750 words describing why Duke lost a basketball game, click here.

(Editor’s note: Props to Tar Heel Bob Hudson for the tip.  Lord knows why he, or any of his brethren, would be reading a blog called ““Seth Curry Saves Duke,” but that is a question better served another day.  Thanks, Ike!)

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