Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Once Again ACC Fails To Win Football Championship

To the extreme disappointment of delusional fans, bloated boosters and overpaid football coaches from Boston to Miami, the ACC has yet again failed to win the NCAA Division 1 Football National Championship.  

That honor AGAIN went to a team from the South East Conference when the Auburn Tigers defeated the Oregon Ducks 22-19 in last night’s BCS (Bowls Can’t Suck?) National Championship Game.
Various ACC coached shared a variety of reactions.

“I really don’t give a damn.” – Ralphy Friedgen who was recently forced into retirement by an Athletic Director brought in from a school that was a football powerhouse during the 1940’s.

“We are going to build the program up to national prominence just like we did at UConn. Hopefully, we won’t have to play Oklahoma ever again.” – New Maryland coach Randy Edsall.

“I thought this was going to be our year, but then our team exploded (Suits In Indianapolis, formerly Kansas) and imploded (John Blake) simultaneously.” – UNC  head coach Butch Davis.

“We’re just a few dadgum players away from being a doggone contender. Oh, I don’t have to talk like this anymore?” – Jimbo Fisher of Florida State.

“We’re almost there. We just need to beat a top 5 team and JMU.” – Virginia Tech’s Frank Beamer.

“We would be better, if we had better assistant coaches.” – Clemson’s Dabo Swinney.

“If Russell Wilson stays we have a shot, if not…ummm…not so much.” – N.C. State’s Tom O’Brien.

“I just got here, I have no clue.” – Al Golden, the new head coach of Miami.

“It’s Duke, wattaya want from me? Go over to the tower and ask His K-ship questions.” – Duke’s David Cutcliffe.

“Tim Duncan, Tim Duncan, Tim Duncan, and maybe that Skinner kid has a brother?” – Wake Forest head coach Jim Grobe.

“Are we still in the ACC?  We played a bowl game in San Francisco against Nevada so I’m confused…” – Boston College’s Frank Spaziani.

“Look, like at Richmond, our goal is to get into the playoff.  Then you get on a roll, win four games and presto change, you’re National Champions. What? There isn’t a playoff in Division 1 college football? What kind of division doesn’t have a playoff?  That’s stupid.” – Mike London, University of Virginia.

“Is that snow?” – Georgia Tech coach Paul Johnson.

*Items in italics may not be true.

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