Wednesday, September 29, 2010

2010 VP Kup: It's All About Sportsmanship

No, evidently, it's about one team (Team Chimpman) and its desperate need to win back the VP KUP while being willing to take advantage of the lack of available golfers from last year's Championship Squad (Team Reeves) in order to gain an unfair advantage and a tainted victory. 

And it's about sportsmanship...

Bulls***! Oops, did we write that "out loud."  Sorry. 

This is the official press release from Team Chimpman, edited by the crack staff of T.A.H.:

In a non-publicized event, the 11th Annual V.P. Kup took place fort the first time at the prestigious Stonewall Golf Club in Gainesville, VA. The players featured Kaptain Chimpman and three select players against Kaptain Reeves and three others he could barely round up. The scramble event was part of a larger charity event and pitted Chimpman, Mouganis, McCarthy and Bierman against the pathetic Reeves and his indigent crew of Morrison, Lozano and Brand. 

(You see, Kaptain Chimpman is practically admitting the deck was stacked!)

This "V.P. Elite" group started out with a warm-up round of 18 holes at 7:30 am which was preceded by a few "Fuzzy Zoeller" roadies and Sputnik toasts!

On the first tee of the warm-up round, tennis lingo was adopted with "first one in" but was changed to "first one in bounds" whereby the V.P Elite stopped counting at 22 balls.

After many on course Sputniks, beers and 120 degree Captain Morgan shots, the main event took place at 12:37 p.m. Team Reeves teed-off first and proceeded to have a string of pars which, according to players on that team, was accomplished by three of the players with the fourth being "AWOL".

Team Chimpman started off slow but then caught fire and took a commanding lead of -11 to -6 heading into the final two holes. With any hope of defending the Kup dwindling away, Team Reeves put down a challenge to "double or nothing" the final two holes (I [Chimpman] failed to mention there was heavy betting!).

Riding the backs of Dr. McCarthy and his newly found "draw" as well as the always consistent J.B. Bierman, Team Chimpman crushed Teams Reeves on the final holes thereby capturing the Kup and retaining it for the next 12 months!

In a post game interview, Team Reeves' player Frank Lozano summed it up best, "I really love Mike as a person but as a Kaptain, he really doesn't have a clue! Plus he can't control himself when he starts drinking - he starts to ramble about nothing and it just becomes irritating back-ground noise; he kinda reminds me of Mrs. Donovan, you know Charlie Brown's teacher on the TV show where all you heard was blah, blah, blah."

(Editor's note: Frankee never said that. He has no idea who Charlie Brown is and all he's heard most of his life is "blah, blah, blah."  This is just another example of the mean-spiritedness of Team Chimpman. By the way, the Editor is a member of Team Reeves and we just noticed that we spelled Chipman as Chimpman throughout this story. Sorry, our bad.  And finally, who is this Captain Morgan, and, all things considered, shouldn't it be Kaptain Morgan?)

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