Wednesday, May 12, 2010

LAWRENCE TAYLOR: “I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN”

Wait, that was Bill Clinton…and this was a “girl.”

Evidently…our favorite former Tar Heel linebacker and member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame, Lawrence Taylor, is, in fact, completely crazy. To further complicate matters (his matters, not ours), he apparently also believes we are all stupid.

Now all of you loyal readers know that here at T.A.H. we tend to be wary of the media court of public opinion that wants to prove the likes of Taylor guilty (sex offender) until proven innocent (self-pleasurer). That said, this one is a little hard to (dare we say) swallow…

As they say on SNL, REALLY…?

Envoking the most ridiculous excuse since D.C. Mayor Marion Barry’s classic “The B*** Set Me Up!” defense, Taylor is going to defend himself with a new wrinkle “The B*** (underage and abused as she was) Made Me Masturbate!”

What next? Will he say he was “conducting his own investigation” (a tried and true favorite) or researching a script for a new sitcom – How I Met Your Sister?

Officially it goes like this: “Lawrence Taylor will defend himself against the charge that he raped a 16-year-old prostitute by claiming he only masturbated and did not have sexual intercourse with the girl, a source close to former football player told ABC News.com.”

At a bond hearing last week, Taylor's attorney Arthur Aidala denied Taylor had sex with the girl, setting up a defense for the former New York Giants linebacker.

Umm…L.T., it’s called “plausible deniability,” and your story still needs some work…

This isn't your first run in with the law, surely you have some better material?

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