Friday, January 15, 2010

THE BEST 'WIENER' STORY EVER TOLD BY JOE BUGEL?

Washington Redskins offensive coach Joe Bugel has retired at less than two months short of turning seventy-years-old. In the pantheon of beloved Redskins from the Joe Gibbs-era, Buges is right up there with Riggo, Art Monk, Darrell Green, Dexter Manley and Gibbs himself.

Often described as “feisty,” Bugel can also certainly be described as a vehement task-masker and, apparently, world-class profane. Buges has coached at/for Western Kentucky, Navy, Iowa State, Ohio State, Detroit Lions, Houston Oilers, Phoenix Cardinals (head coach), Oakland Raiders (head coach), San Diego Chargers and his beloved Redskins (twice).

When asked recently to tell his favorite story by Dan Steinberg over at D.C. Sports Blog, he retold a famous story about Russ Grimm, training camp at Carlisle and a hot dog (or one-quarter of a hot dog, depending on who you ask).

Safe to say, it’s funny. Gross, but funny.

According to Steinberg: Near the end of his post-presser remarks, I asked Bugel whether the creation of the Hogs nickname qualifies as a moment of inspiration. Innocent question. Filthy answer.

"We practiced on Wednesday nights,” said the Buges. “They had a nice little bar in Carlisle, they had chili dogs and stuff like that. So we had [practice] that night and I got in the huddle and it smelled like a brewery. And [Grimm] got a little overheated. And I don't mean to say throw up...but he threw up, and he threw up a hot dog. It hit the grass."

As the media members giggled the way anyone would giggle at the idea of a fully formed hot dog squirting out of an offensive lineman's guts, much of the story became sort of pantomimed more than described. Let me summarize.

Grimm "picked that wiener" off the ground. The ball boys got nauseated, and one said "Mr. Grimm, you can't do that." And Grimm blew on the hot dog, shook it off, and then popped it back in his mouth.

"Can't waste a good dog now," Grimm said.

A few minutes later, I saw Doc Walker, and asked him if this story was true. Walker remembered it being a quarter of a dog, but he confirmed the basic wiener out, wiener in concept.

"Total neanderthal," Walker said.

If you were wondering how the “five second rule” got started or just how far one might take said rule, click here.

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