No more movie - plug pulled - literally.
Friday, April 3, 2009
No more movie - plug pulled - literally.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
When in doubt, drink more, and dream those sweet LAX dreams.
We're going to Mexico - Isla Mujeres to be exact. (Go ahead, Google it, we'll wait for you.)
Supposedly there is a beach bar with satellite T.V. (Jax Bar and Grill) which shows "American Sports" in "English." Hey, Jax other gig is sportfishing, so he has to be a cool guy. If they don't show the games, the jokes on us. Worse comes to worse, we catch a fast boat to Cancun - 35 pesos. That's about $3.50 U.S. last time we looked, which was about two beers ago.
So, be brave, and enjoy the cyber silence.
There are a half-dozen internet cafes on the 5 mile long island, so if we get bored, or it rains, we may check in from time to time…but, don't count on it.
Neither team is particularly big and both basically run a four guard game. It now appears that the Wildcats play better defense than the Blue Devils and they have proven they can handle bigger teams by beating Pittsburgh.
But can they beat North Carolina?
Short Answer: Probably not. If Villanova plays their best game and North Carolina does the same, the now seven-point favorite Heels win every time. If Ol’ Roy’s boys lose defensive focus and allow the good Villanova guards to penetrate and kick the ball out, ‘Nova has a chance.
But the math doesn’t bode well for Villanova. While they have more offense contributors than Duke, they still don’t match up well with a bigger more prolific North Carolina.
The Cats starting five of Dante Cunningham (pictured below), Scottie Reynolds (pictured above), Corey Fisher, Corey Stokes and Dwayne Anderson are averaging 16.2, 15.2, 10.7, 9.5 and 9.1 points per game. Other than his last second shot heroics, Reynolds has not played particularly well during the Big Dance.
UNC’s starting five of Psycho-T, Ty “The Toe” Lawson, Wayne Ellington, Danny Green and Deon Thompson average 20.9, 16.3, 15.6, 13.3 and 10.7…
Do the math…Villanova’s starters total 15.8 points per game less, and they aren’t bring the likes of Ed Davis, Bobby Frasor or Tyler Zeller off the bench.
Won’t matter. Even with center Goran Suton playing (he didn’t back in December), they can’t match up with Carolina. Suton is good, but he only averages 10 points a game. He can’t bridge the gap between 90-zillion and 60-something…assuming, the Heels play their game. If they lose focus, Michigan State can win what amounts to a home game in the Championship.
UNC v. UCONN: We’re pretty sure UConn is good, but we’ve yet to see it. The win over Mizzou was downright butt ugly and all this talk about how freshmen point guard Kemba Walker “emerging” into a game changer based on 23 points vs. Missouri is silly. Prior to that, he averaged two points per game. Simply put, Ty Lawson will eat his lunch.
While Thabeet is tall and talented, he can’t stop all the weapons Carolina will throw at him. His 13 points and 10 rebounds per game is likely offset by any number of Ol’ Roys’ cavalry.
Either way, advantage Tar Heels.
Milton Jennings, F, 6-9, 215, (Clemson), Cottageville, S.C.: Clemson's first McDonald's All-American since Sharone Wright (1991) should fit right into the top of Oliver Purnell's press and complement Tigers power forward Trevor Booker.
Ryan Kelly, F, 6-10, 217, (Duke), Raleigh: Tall and skinny, the Ravenscroft forward plays more in the mold of current Duke forward Kyle Singler than as a true post presence.
Dexter Strickland, G, 6-3, 180, (North Carolina), Rahway, N.J.: If Wayne Ellington leaves for the NBA, Strickland likely would be the Tar Heels' starting shooting guard. Like Ellington, Strickland is regarded as an excellent 3-point shooter.
John Henson, F, 6-10, 200, (North Carolina), Tampa, Fla.: The top power forward in the Class of 2009, Henson's strength is his ability to run the floor. With Tyler Zeller and Ed Davis, he gives the Tar Heels plenty of options to replace the departing Tyler Hansbrough.
Mason Plumlee, F, 6-11, 220, (Duke), Arden: Plumlee possess the size to immediately upgrade Duke's interior next season. Like a lot of Duke's forwards, he can also score while facing the basket. (Pictured)
Michael Snaer, G, 6-5, 200, (Florida State), Moreno Valley, Calif.: With Derwin Kitchen sliding over to the point guard, it likely will be Snaer, who averaged 28.1 points per game, to replace All-ACC guard Toney Douglas in FSU's starting lineup.
David Wear, F, 6-10, 225, (North Carolina), Huntington Beach, Calif. …Travis Wear, F, 6-10, 230, (North Carolina), Huntington Beach, Calif.: The Wear twins can both shoot the ball and run the floor. They are the latest in a long line of prospects Roy Williams has mined from the state of California.
The basketball fan in me believes that a successful Final Four comes down to fundamentals—the team that wins the tourney will hit free throws, box out for rebounds and contain the gawky awesomeness of Tyler Hansbrough.
The music fan in me believes it’ll all come down to fight songs. Here, I rank the four remaining teams based on the quality of their fight songs.
Curious now, aren’t you? Go ahead click here and read who wins…
"I'm just amazed that people are going to make a big deal about it," Kirschner said.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
The Suits In Kansas, also known as the NCAA, announced this morning that they were completely wrong about what the punishment needed to be for the cheating scandal at Florida State.
Reacting quickly and decisively to a letter written by FSU President T.K. “Couldn’t Stand The” Wetherell to the NCAA Committee on Infractions on March 17th of this year, the Myles “Behind” Brand-led organization decided to immediately reexamine its "entire penalty structure."
Even though the cheating involved every sport at the school (over 217) and the overwhelming majority of the “student athletes” (estimated to be as high as 13,598), the whiz kids from Tornadoville slashed the “totally unfair” punishment previously announced.
Now instead of forfeiting scholarships and reversing victories, the traffic cops over in Stupid Rules World have decided to actually give the Seminoles more scholarship and reverse some losses.
Needless to say this caused much joy (almost to the point of a post Maryland big win riot) on campus and throughout Bowden households all over the land. Except at three of the sons houses who issued statements about “Dad getting all the breaks.”
The final bit of icing on the garnet and gold cake was when it was revealed that Florida State would be able to choose the six losses to now reverse into overwhelming victories.
Coach Bowden and his ever loyal boosters held an emergency meeting of the Chop Chop Tomahawk You Get What You Pay For Club and made a very quick decision on the losses to reverse.
Sighting Bowden’s seniority - the elder Bowden has been coaching Florida State for 149 years - the “boosters” allowed Bowden a single pick. His choice surprised no one when he instantly blurted out “the dadgum 2006 Orange Bowl” when we lost to “that dadburn bastard Joe Pa” in triple overtime 26-23.
The money men then chose, again to no one’s surprise, Wide Right 1 (Gerry Thomas), Wide Right 2 (Dan Mowrey), Wide Right 3 (Matt Munyon), Wide Right 4 (Xavier Beitia) and Wide Left (Xavier Beitia) as the other five games.
Officials at Miami and Penn State could not be reached for comment.
When Lawson's now famous appendage was sore following North Carolina’s victory over Oklahoma in the Elite Eight, Lawson’s dad was there to help once again. This time he suggested a more radical treatment – amputation.
“Cool,” said fellow All-American Tyler Hansbrough, “Let’s whack it off with a ping pong paddle.”
While the elder Lawson did not attend medical school, the younger Lawson noted that he had “driven by” both the world renown Duke and UNC medical centers on “numerous” occasions.
“My dad has never steered me wrong,” said an upbeat Lawson after the procedure, “…well except maybe that one time with the toe thing.”
When asked why he voluntarily chose to remove the other uninjured big toe, Lawson said, “That was Tyler’s idea. He said if I had nine toes, I’d be unbalanced and it would mess up my shot.”
“Obviously, he’s smarter than me, “ concluded Lawson, “I was the ACC Player of the Year and he wasn’t, and yet I'm second team All America and he’s first team. Go figure. Oh…and his dad actually went to med school, so he knows stuff.”
There is only one known photo of Scheyer playing for Duke with a “normal” expression on his face. That shot was taken in Duke’s loss to Villanova where the stat line notes that Jon “Normal Face” Scheyer was 3 for 18 from the field and only scored 13 points in a spectacular NCAA tournament loss for the Blue Devils.
Doctors at the famous medical complex were stunned (and a little grossed out) by Scheyer’s bizarre facial contortions noting that his mother probably “warned him.”
Scheyer typically complained that his face was sore after games noting that the pain was especially excruciating after an overtime game.
“If I don’t stay hydrated,” Scheyer said, “I get cramps in my lips and cheeks. Jeez, that smarts.”
If It Ain’t Friggin’ Broke, Roy Williams Ain’t Gonna Friggin’ Fix It, by Roy “Roy Williams” Williams.
Diet And Exercising For The Small(er) Kitchen Appliance(s), by Ralph “The Fridge” Friedgen.
The Ying and Yow of Maryland Basketball: An Expose By The Head Coach Who Resurrected The Program From Death And Then Won A National Championship When The Miserable Jerks In The Athletic Department Said He Never Would While Questioning His Recruiting, by Gary “Speed Stick” Williams.
Job Hunting In The NFL During A Down Economy While Constantly Explaining To Your Family Why You Quit The ‘Good’ Job At The ‘Nice’ College, by Jeff Jagodzinski.
My Life At The Free Throw Line And The Lessons I’ve Learned, by Oliver Purnell.
Dead Grandparent Jokes: A Collection of Short Stories, by N.C. State alums and fans.
Hottest NCAA Cheerleaders I’m Not Married To, by Jeff Jones.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
OK, Wahoos, you can stop tracking Tubby’s airplane and spreading rumors about Capel’s family’s drug habits, Tony Bennett, who led Washington State to its first appearance in the Sweet 16 of the NCAA tournament in 2008, will be named head coach at Virginia whether you like it or not.
(T.A.H. polling suggests that students, alums and fans are not thrilled with the hire. With limited polling data in at this early hour, T.A.H. is putting significant weight on Dr. A.G. Wahoos poll response of “F*** ME!!!!!”)
Washington State director of athletics Jim Sterk confirmed that Bennett has accepted the head-coaching position at Virginia on Tuesday.
Bennett led the Cougars to consecutive NCAA tournament appearances before finishing 17-16 this past season.
“Look, he was one game over .500 this season, and that has University of Virginia basketball written all over it,” said Craig Littlepage, UVA Athletic Director.
While Littlepage was reportedly “stunned and disturbed” by the 362 coaches who failed to return his phone calls since former coach Dave Leitao “resigned,” he doggedly continued the search until he found what sources close to the Wahoo Athletic Department were calling “our man.”
“It was really a no-brainer,” continued Littlepage. “Bennett is uniquely qualified – he’s the Mid-Continent Conference's all-time leader in points (2,285) and assists (601). He still ranks as the NCAA's all-time leader in 3-point percentage (.497). Who better to teach our guys how to shoot three pointers than a guy who could shoot three pointers?”
Gotta admit, it’s hard to argue with that logic.
Littlepage concluded saying, “In addition to his incredible coaching qualifications, you have to admit, he looks like a UVA guy. Look at him…young, clean cut…His wife told me he even owns a bow tie.”
(No, she didn’t mention Zima, but she hasn’t returned T.A.H.’s phone call yet.)
Virginia insiders were hoping the school would land a big name, brand product coach like Minnesota's Tubby Smith or Oklahoma's Jeff Capel or Texas' Rick Barnes or LSU's Trent Johnson.
After the hiring of Bennett leaked out, each coach made a comment about the Hoos’ coaching opening.
“I’m done with basketball in the south and rednecks calling me the “n” word when you don’t beat a small in-state college by 30 points in November,” said Smith. “Give the Cubagges and all those hoop crazed hillbillies up on Afton Mountain my regards.”
“Why would I want to go to UVA and get my a** kicked by North Carolina?” asked Jeff Capel. “I just got my a** kicked by North Carolina, why would I want to do it two, maybe three, times a year? Remember, I went to Duke, that’s not gonna sit well on any side of the aisle.”
“Have you been to Austin?” queried current Texas coach and past Clemson coach Rick Barnes, “The slogan for the place is ‘Keep Austin Weird,’ who’s leaving that? Besides, I still have a restraining order that says I can’t get within 500 feet of Dean Smith and that’s going to make the “at UNC” game a bit uncomfortable.”
“Actually,” said LSU coach Trent Johnson, “I like my job, and I’m a BIG football fan…”
Local Wash State grad G. Cougar Bengston said, “Wahoo bastards stole my coach!”
*Items in italics may not be true.
In the longest game in the history of Division I men's lacrosse, No. 1 Virginia beat No. 9 Maryland 10-9 when junior midfielder Brian Carroll scored one minute into the seventh overtime.
ESPN Classic didn't take long to pick it up. The network replayed the game last night.
The teams combined for 53 turnovers and between them made only 19 of 89 shots.
On the scoreboard, the game took 85 minutes: 60 for the four quarters, 24 for the first six overtimes and one for the seventh.
The longest college men's game took place last year, in Division III, according to Inside Lacrosse. York (Pa.) beat Catholic 10-9 in a seven-OT game that ran 85 minutes and 41 seconds.
Next for top-ranked Virginia (1-0 ACC, 11-0 overall) is a noon game Saturday with No. 10 North Carolina (0-2, 8-3) in the inaugural Big City Classic at East Rutherford, N.J.
Monday, March 30, 2009
In spite of thousands of Wahoos insisting that either Tubby Smith or Jeff Capel would be the Hoos next coach, Virginia A.D. Craig Littlepage has decided to go in yet another direction.
To see the latest top secret coach-in-waiting click here.
This news comes after best-selling author John Grisham turned down the latest overtures from Cav A.D. Craig Littlepage. In a carefully prepared statement, Grisham said:
“While an attorney and block-buster author who’s books have sold millions and been turned into block buster movies starring the likes of mega-stars Tom Cruise and Nicholas Cage, many of you in the Virginia family may erroneously think that I am not qualified to coach a major division one college basketball team.
Nothing could be further from the truth. With my superior intellect and midas touch, I’m entirely confident that I could resurrect “The University’s” basketball program to levels even greater than those achieved in the now seemingly ancient Ralph Sampson era.
Since am currently working on a new book which will eventually be heralded an important piece of modern American literature, I simply do not have time for the frivolity of collegiate athletics in spite of my obvious and overwhelming talents which make me capable of doing any damn thing I please.”
Yet again, the negotiations are so secret, that we aren’t allowed to reveal the identity of the candidate on the T.A.H. pages.
To see the latest top secret candidate click here.
Had you told Ol' Roy the same thing he would have been moritified.
At the same time, if you told Capel a combination of North Carolina’s defense and a poor shooting night would hold his eighty-points-per game Oklahoma squad to just 60 points including 2-19 (10.5 percent) from behind the arc, he would have been mystified.
This game looked like a bit like the Duke v. Villanova match-up from Thursday night. Oklahoma was tentative and UNC’s first-half defense was so solid that twice the Sooners failed to get a shot off. An effective double team held Player of the Year Blake Griffin as in check as he can be held and the rest of his teammates seemed nervous and tentative - missing shot after shot.
Griffin finished up with 23 points and 16 rebounds, prompting Hansbrough to say his counterpart was the “best rebounder” he had ever seen. The Tar Heels did manage to hold Griffin scoreless for the first 11 minutes of the game.
Meanwhile, Carolina (32-4) seemed a little tentative as well. They did get off to a quick start and a 13-2 lead, but from there it looked like the basketball version of the golfer’s “safety swing.” After a year of gigantic expectations including a No. 1 ranking and prognostications of a highly improbably undefeated season, North Carolina was on a mission to get back to the Final Four for a chance to avenge an embarrassing defeat to last years champ Kansas.
While they played hard and efficiently, for most of this game, North Carolina looked like they just wanted it to be over. They played tenacious defense (for them), and they shot the ball well (51 percent for the game), but they also worked the clock in the second half which is not their strong suit. Luckily, Lawson and his now famous toe were holding the ball as the shot clock was winding down. The Heels used 62 percent second-half shooting to build a 21 point lead, and they coasted in from there.
While it would be hard to argue the outcome of the game, it would have been different game had Oklahoma shot better. Credit UNC’s much maligned defense for many of those misses. On the other hand, the Tar Heels left quite a few points on the floor including one stretch in the second half where they committed five turnovers.
Ty Lawson was the Most Outstanding Player of the South Regional scoring 19 points in yesterday’s win. On the way to Detroit for the Final Four, Lawson has committed a grand total of two turnovers – not a misprint, that’s TWO. Danny Green added 18 points for Carolina, and his game seems to be back to normal.
North Carolina made fifteen of sixteen free throws (93.8 percent).
North Carolina reached a record 18th Final Four and their second straight as part of nine in the past 19 seasons.
The Tar Heels have already visited the Final Four site once this year when they easily defeated West Regional winner Michigan State 98-63.
North Carolina led 61-40 before Oklahoma scored nine straight points, including its first 3-pointer after 15 misses to start the game. Lawson made a couple free throws with 4:12 to play to halt that run.
“It’s not hard to see how talented they are throughout the year. I’ve always been impressed with them,” said Taylor Griffin, who scored four points for the Sooners. “They’re as good as advertised, I think.”
On Saturday, Williams uttered perhaps the week’s most prescient quote:
“If you say, Tyler, you’re going to have eight points and seven rebounds but North Carolina is going to win, he’s going to be the happiest guy in town.”
(Photo by Joe Murphy/Getty Images and Zeke Smith/InsideCarolina.com)
However, on this trip to the Final Four, Williams asserted in his post-game news conference yesterday that he had no plans to expectorate in the Gathering of Waters, but the bus made a few unscheduled turns on the way from the hotel to Fed Ex Forum and, lo and behold, there they were.
Well…since, we’re here, we might as well have a good ol’ spit for luck!
To bad Detroit is located on the Huckleberry Finn Highway.
(Photo by Joe Murphy/Getty Images)
After spending several hours Sunday with Duke head coach Mike Krzythl5ski on the Durham campus, Curry – the nation's leading freshman scorer (20.3 points per game) this season – committed to play for the Blue Devils.
Under NCAA rules, Curry will not be allowed to participate next season but can begin play in the 2010-11 season.
"After spending five hours with Coach K and his staff and hearing how highly they regard [Seth] and how they think he can help their program, it speaks for itself," father Dell Curry said Sunday evening. "It seems like the right fit. Seth committed before he left."
"Coach K really wanted Seth," Dell Curry said. "His vision for Seth and for the program -- it was great as parents to hear someone of his stature sell us on how bad he wanted Seth."
Krzlpzk4ski is not allowed to comment on Curry until he signs with the school.
In case you missed it, here's the new Guitar Hero commercial featuring Knight, Pitino, Ol' Roy and Krzxwyfgvb8ski.
Frankly, T.A.H. was a bit disappointed. While we realize it's for the Metalica version of the game, the commercial should have featured Ozzie Osbourne. Imagine the exchange between the Prince of Darkness and Coach Knight?
Not so fast, for the second straight year at Bay Hill, Woods made pivotal putts along the back nine and came to the 18th hole needing a birdie to win – and for the second straight year he made the birdie putt and won the tournament.
(Photos by David Cannon/Getty Images and Scott Halleran/Getty Images)
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Booker averaged 15.3 points, 9.7 rebounds and two blocked shots a game this season.
He said in a statement that after consulting with his family, he decided there were several areas in which he could improve before moving on to a professional basketball career.
Quality Road will next run in the Kentucky Derby. He was born and raised at Spring Hill Farm in Casanova, VA just down the road from Warrenton where the T.A.H. World Headquarters.
(Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)
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- ARGHHHH! STUPID GOVERNMENT RUINS TERPS' ANTI-FINAL...
- ADIOS, T.A.H. AMIGOS
- VILLANOVA: DUKE IN WOLVES CLOTHING
- MONDAY NIGHT PREDICTION
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- PICTURE OF THE DAY
- FSU WINS APPEAL AND HAS SIX LOSSES EXPUNGED FROM R...
- LAWSON AMPUTATES OWN TOES WITH HELP FROM PSYCHO T
- SHOCKING NEWS: MOM WAS RIGHT!
- NEW ON – AND FLYING OFF – THE BOOKSHELVES
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- HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY
- CRAIG LITTLEPAGE'S INBOX
- JOKES OVER: CAVS HIRE TONY BENNETT
- WE’LL SEE YOUR SIX OVERTIMES, AND RAISE YOU AN OVE...
- HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TOLY HANSBROUGH
- PICTURE OF THE DAY
- VIRGINIA CROONING OVER NEW COACHING CANDIDATE
- WAHOOS CHASING “ELITE” COACH
- TAR HEELS HEADED BACK TO FINAL FOUR
- FLOODING THE MIDWEST ONE LOOGIE AT A TIME
- YOUNGER CURRY SELLS SOUL TO (BLUE) DEVILS
- BOBBY KNIGHT CLEARLY HAS NO GROOVE
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