Wednesday, December 9, 2009


To the great shock of the general public and the media (millions of people), as well as officials, players and fans of the LPGA (not nearly as many), allegations have surfaced about one-time golf phenom Michelle Wie.

Wie, who’s youthful golf skills had her once being compared to superstar Tiger Woods, is now being hounded by tabloid reporters after rumors surfaced that the very private Wei was not married with two children and had not had up to ten extra-marital affairs.

The Wie camp was quick to confirm that the young pro golfer (20) who was born in Hawaii is not married to the former man servant Englishman Langford Collingsworthston. The younger Collingsworthston is the twin of Bufordsford Collingsworthston and the son of Henry The VIII Collingsworthston, a well known English politician with chronic stomach problems.

Collingsworthston, know to his friends as "Yes Wei Can," was once employed in the household of PGA golfer Phil Mickelson.

Wie also denied that the couple, which she claims is not only not married but also have never actually met, do not have two children as confirmed by the London Daily Mail Post Express (New York division).

In a prepared statement sent exclusively to T.A.H., Wie also confirmed that she had never had sex with porn star Ron Jeremy or any of the MTV hosts, bartenders, Las Vegas marketing executives, 911 survivors, Trekkies or zoo keepers she has not been linked to in the press.

Wei, who scored her first (golf) win in Mexico last month, has been under intense media scrutiny ever since. She is currently playing in the Dubai Ladies Masters at the Majilis Course of the Emirates Golf Club in Dubai.

*Items in italics may not be true.


  1. Humor? no. Peculiar? yes.

    If this "report" is supposed to be an example of parody it fails. Not only did it not make me smile; the only thing I could muster was a puzzled frown and a shaking of the head in wonder that anyone would waste their time on such a meager and sideways effort to amuse, at Michelle's expense.

    I suggest you read more and better writers before you attempt any form of humor again. Best of luck.

  2. Kate, sorry you weren't amused, lots of other folks were and everybody else so far has understood that the joke was at Tiger's expense, not Wie's. If you read carefully, it says Michelle has done nothing wrong and the allegations noted in the headlines were confirming that. We only chose Wie as she was a young phenom like Tiger. Our advice: Lighten up a bit. -- the Editor


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