Wednesday, October 21, 2009

RUMOR: ACC TO LEGALIZE “DUKE ELBOW”

Last week, the NBA revised its “traveling rule” to more accurately depict the way the infraction has been called (or more appropriately, not been called) for the past several decades.

The new rule says in part: "A player who receives the ball while he is progressing or upon completion of a dribble, may take two steps in coming to a stop, passing or shooting the ball."

It is believed to be the first time any league, at any level anywhere in the world, has explicitly allowed two steps.

This caused some hub-bub (technical journalism term meaning “causing a stir”) in media circles, and it was not lost on the ACC big-wigs over in Charlotte.

T.A.H. sources have confirmed a rumor that the ACC will also be capitalizing on the NBA’s bold rule change to memorialize in the Official ACC Basketball Rule Book another commonly used basketball move know as “ the Duke Hook.”

Offensive players, especially Coach K’s boys over the past 15 years, have been partial to using their non-dribbling arm as leverage when “hooking” the defensive player as an aid to creating leverage and what is known in hoops’ parlance as “space.” While perfected by class after class of Duke players, last season, Duke forward Gerald Henderson demonstrated perfectly the most recent version – what we referred to here at T.A.H. as the “Henderson Hook.”

(As seen in these photos obtained by T.A.H., transfer Seth Curry has already perfected the ‘hook’ while Henderson clearly is still utilizing it in his rookie pro season.)

Through a wee bit of skullduggery, T.A.H. has obtained the rough draft of quotes that ACC Commish John Swofford plans to utilize in a future press conference explaining the new rule.

“The game is about offense,” Swofford will say. “Fans don’t pack ACC arenas to see defense, they pay their hard earned money, or their parents’ hard earned money, to see players score and this rule change will simply legitimize a move that has long helped certain players do just that.”

“Look, David Stern and the suits over at the NFL are no dummies,” Swofford will continue, “whether it’s traveling rules or rules that help wide receivers in the NFL, it’s all about scoring points. Remember Michael Irvin’s push-offs that were never called offensive pass interference? Well, think of the ‘hook’ as our version of that important play.”

When in formed of the new rule, Duke head coach Mike Krzscvbd8ski said, “It makes perfect sense. It’s a quality play and an important part of my ‘educational’ process. Frankly, I don’t know what took them so &*$&@#! (rhymes with ‘ducking’) long.”

UNC head coach Roy Williams said, “Ol’ Roy thinks it stupid for several reasons not the least of which is that ‘other coach’ thinks it’s a good idea.”

Dino Gaudio, Leonard Hamilton, Gary Williams, Seth Greenberg, Frank Haith, Paul Hewitt, Al Skinner, Oliver Purnell and Sid Lowe all released statements which, for all intents and purposes, boiled down to “don’t care.”

Tony Bennett, the new head coach at Virginia and an ACC rookie, after assuring the assembled media for the 492nd time that he did not leave his heart in San Francisco (or anywhere else for that matter) said “Who are these people?”


*Items in italics may not be true.

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