Tuesday, September 29, 2009


Team Reeves, ably captained by one Mike “Kat” Reeves (JMU 8?), handily out-distanced Team Chipman, not-so-ably captained by one Bill “Chip” Chipman (JMU 8?) by a wide margin in last Friday’s Vice President’s Kup held at Hackberry Creek Country Club just down the road from T.A.H. Worldwide Media Headquarters.

“Irish” conditions met the 32 intrepid golfers in the wee hours of the morning when the revelry began just off the club’s property. (Who knew restraining orders could be renewed.) After a pre-game meal of burned hot dogs, a Fig Newton and some “breakfast blend,” the teams headed off for the morning round of “best ball” for the first nine holes followed by an “alternate shot” format for the second nine.

Miraculously, everyone found the first tee box, and the pitched battle began without major incident. Well, almost – some of us teed off the back, but that’s another story.

After the morning round was complete and all the participants wandered back to tournament headquarters for lunch (read that: Sputniks [vodka, lemon slices, espresso, sugar] and Subway subs), the score was tied at 16-16.

The afternoon round featured the inaugural Burton Scramble named after the recently departed Mike Burton. The format was a two-man scramble with each hole counting one point (no carryovers). Natural Light, Burton’s favorite, was required for all teams.

While Chipman, heretofore known as Chunk Chunkman, managed to win his match, the majority of Team Chipman was demolished in the final round. A small fact that must have aggravated Mr. Burton from on high as he was a renowned member of the losing squad. B. Tunure (ironically one of Mike’s best friends) and C. Giglio (pictured here with Kaptain Kat Reeves) won the first Burton Trophy with a impressive score that nobody seems to remember.

The final score was so lopsided that tournament officials refused to release the results to the media (read that: nobody remembers that either.)

The VP Kup trophy was exchanged following the usual wrangling over the final score and the vagaries of ceremonial procedures and decorum. The winning team drank freely from the chalice, assuring the assembled group an inevitable bout with the Swine Flu.

Later that night after vanquished Kaptain Chunkman finally appeared at the post-Kup celebration (at his house), the cherished black jacket was awarded the wining kaptain with an appropriate amount of pomp and circumstance.

The Team Reeves victory evened the overall score of the ten-year-old donnybrook at 5-5.

(Editor’s note: Thanks to all the designated drivers (be they hired or family members) who safely conveyed all the happy participants home following another great event!)

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