Sunday, May 17, 2009


Steve “Dirt” Callaghan (U.S. Navy, Harvard, Slippery Rock) (not pictured left) and Bob “Ike” Hudon (UNC) (also not pictured left) were two-day winners at the truncated version of Liverpalooza 2009.

Reduced from 99 holes in four days down to a mere 36 holes in two days due to economic conditions and liver preservation issues, Liverpalooza produced some equally as dreadful golf as its older siblings Liverpalooza 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008.

Callaghan and Hudson routed the group of 16 “golfers” on Friday at Stonewall Golf Club in Gainesville. A late evening blind stableford draw revealed some rather pathetic scores with the winners prevailing with a whopping 61 points…or maybe 62 or 63…we aren’t exactly sure (Woodford Reserve), but we know it was low. Jon “Chainsaw” Beirman (Duke) (pictured left), gets credit for the “Ferd.” So Duke’s not all bad…

“Dirt” and “Ike” were rewarded for their efforts with a cash prize. Callaghan wisely contributed his share to the post tournament party held at his house at this expense. Hudson tipped the bar tender $20 and contributed the balance to the “Replenishing Vice at Hole 3.5 Fund” which helped provide adult malt beverages for Saturday’s round. Well played, gents.

Cloudy skies greeted the group of 20 “golfers” for Saturday’s round at Fauquier Springs (aka Hackberry Creek) Country Club in Warrenton. Quickly dubbed, the “Ferd Is The Werd Open” by the Chobinator, the quality of play somehow miraculously improved. Must have been the “Beer Gloves.”

With a substantially bigger “cash award,” the local hackers with handicaps ranging from 6 to 19, clearly tightened their focus. Of course, the intensity of Friday’s round might have backed up a few of the weaker at heart…who knows?

After collecting the scores, it was readily apparent that a two-man Stableford score of 60-something wasn’t gonna get it done. Dirt Callaghan again topped the list firing a 77 for 40 points. M-dawg Daughtery (Penn State, George Mason, UNC Wilmington – OK, we give up there isn’t enough room here to list them all – go ahead, name a school and we’ll wager M-dawg went there at least to chase a coed) was hot on his heels with a 78 while Jr. “Fireproof” Couk (Randolph Macon) scored 39 points off a well played eighty-something.

When the blind draw got started Callaghan was again the early LIC (leader in clubhouse), combining his 40 points with the T.A.H. Editor (JMU) for a combined 72 points – where was that on Friday? Not long after that, Steve “The Mighty Chef and Roaster of Lawyers” Dill (CIA) and Dr. Rob “It’s Not A Decoration!” Flikeid (Virginia Tech, MCV) posted a tying 72. (Damn it!)

Then things got crazy – Craig “Mr.” Anderson (JMU) and Chris “Ferd Is The Werd” Choby (Harvard, Slippery Rock, Lord Fairfax) logged in with a 74! Just to make the late afternoon beer goggled math a little more complicated, the last man in, Sam Blaser (Clemson), combined with ACC rival Hudson to post another 74.

Final score: Tied 1st: 74 - Anderson-Choby and Blaser-Hudson. Tied 2nd: 72 - Dill-Flikeid and Callaghan-Petty.

It is the firm belief of T.A.H. that Dill, Flikeid, Choby, Anderson, S. Blaser and Hudson and EVERYBODY ELSE cheated. Callaghan and the Editor did not.
An investigation is underway.

Happily there were once again no injuries…OK, a few minor ones.

Flikeid (laceration-hand, self-inflicted prior to Friday’s round so it may not count), Editor (Lacerations-hand,leg, also self-inflicted when shrub crashing following Friday’s opening round, definitely counts) and Mike “Sputnik” Mouganis (bruised – ego, self-inflicted after posting all-time Liverpalooza low stableford score of 18 points.)

Apparently, the “Mougy Rule” of -1 point for more than a double bogey came back to seriously haunt its namesake. Sorry, dude.

On the #6 tee box:
Dill: If I make a hole-in-one, I’m gonna need a ride home.
THT3 (Mary Washington, Richmond): Dill, I’ll give you a ride…
Dill: I’d prefer the police.

On Dirt’s front porch:
Jr.: Speaking of Vietnam…

On #16 fairway:
Flikeid: You see this (pointing to head and imitating his dental assistant), it’s not a decoration!

On the #1 tee box:
Golf pro while taking group shot on first tee: How do you make this camera zoom in?
Camera owner: You could take a step forward…

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