Wednesday, April 1, 2009

LAWSON AMPUTATES OWN TOES WITH HELP FROM PSYCHO T

UNC point guard Ty Lawson’s father, Gus “I Fought The Law And The” Lawson made news a few weeks ago when he advised the star point guard to soak his injured toe in a warm Epsom salt bath. The result was a badly swollen big piggy that could have cost the Heels a trip to the Final Four.

When Lawson's now famous appendage was sore following North Carolina’s victory over Oklahoma in the Elite Eight, Lawson’s dad was there to help once again. This time he suggested a more radical treatment – amputation.

“Cool,” said fellow All-American Tyler Hansbrough, “Let’s whack it off with a ping pong paddle.”

While the elder Lawson did not attend medical school, the younger Lawson noted that he had “driven by” both the world renown Duke and UNC medical centers on “numerous” occasions.

“My dad has never steered me wrong,” said an upbeat Lawson after the procedure, “…well except maybe that one time with the toe thing.”

When asked why he voluntarily chose to remove the other uninjured big toe, Lawson said, “That was Tyler’s idea. He said if I had nine toes, I’d be unbalanced and it would mess up my shot.”

“Obviously, he’s smarter than me, “ concluded Lawson, “I was the ACC Player of the Year and he wasn’t, and yet I'm second team All America and he’s first team. Go figure. Oh…and his dad actually went to med school, so he knows stuff.”

1 comment:

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