Monday, March 30, 2009

WAHOOS CHASING “ELITE” COACH

Confidential sources close to T.A.H. and approximately 70 miles from Charlottesville, are claiming that UVA “has our man” and that an announcement concerning a new head coach is coming later today or early tomorrow.

This news comes after best-selling author John Grisham turned down the latest overtures from Cav A.D. Craig Littlepage. In a carefully prepared statement, Grisham said:

“While an attorney and block-buster author who’s books have sold millions and been turned into block buster movies starring the likes of mega-stars Tom Cruise and Nicholas Cage, many of you in the Virginia family may erroneously think that I am not qualified to coach a major division one college basketball team.

Nothing could be further from the truth. With my superior intellect and midas touch, I’m entirely confident that I could resurrect “The University’s” basketball program to levels even greater than those achieved in the now seemingly ancient Ralph Sampson era.

Since am currently working on a new book which will eventually be heralded an important piece of modern American literature, I simply do not have time for the frivolity of collegiate athletics in spite of my obvious and overwhelming talents which make me capable of doing any damn thing I please.”

Yet again, the negotiations are so secret, that we aren’t allowed to reveal the identity of the candidate on the T.A.H. pages.

To see the latest top secret candidate click here.

(Photo by Robert Meggers/Getty Images)

1 comment:

  1. According to The Seattle Times it's Tony Bennett from Washington State University.

    ReplyDelete

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