Monday, March 16, 2009


One of the fun parts of March Madness is seeing how many team nicknames you can rattle off during the selection show. For example, Alabama State is the Hornets, and Morgan State is the Bears. The tournament also includes Mocs (UT- Chattanooga), Vikings (Cleveland State and Portland State), Bison (North Dakota State) and the Matadors (Cal State Northridge).

But the play-in game between the SWAC champs Alabama State and Baltimore’s Morgan State (who created waves when they upset the Terps earlier in the year in College Park) has another interesting name involved.

The 7’1” Chief Kickingstallionsims plays center for the Hornets. Kickingstallionsims hales from Boyton Beach, FL and he averages 9 points, 4 rebounds and 2.7 blocks per game after transferring from Stetson

Chief’s full name is Grlenntys Chief Kickingstallionsims, Jr. He’s the son of Grlenntys Chief Kickingstallionsims, Sr. and Barbara R. Paulson. Kickingstallionsims was named SWAC defensive player of the year.

All of this got us thinking about crazy names. Evidently, David Williams at had also been contemplating this and he put together a couple of lists of past and present great names:

NO NEED FOR WORDS: Dominitrix Johnson, Illinois St: Jamar Nutter, Seton Hall; Jahsha Bluntt, Delaware St; and Chris Porn, Elon.

OF THE ROYAL FAMILY: Duke Crews, Tennessee; Will Royal, Robert Morris; Rickey Royal, Army; King Cannon, Central Arkansas and J.P. Prince, Tennessee.

PUNCTUATIONS AND PREFIXES PERPLEXING ENGLISH TEACHERS NATIONWIDE: Ra’Sean Dickey, Georgia Tech; l’Lonzo Coleman, Presbyterian; LeKendrick Longmire, Oregon; An’Juan Wilderness, Charlotte; K’Len Morris, Michigan; E’Twaun Moore, Purdue; Jay-R Strowbridge, Nebraska; Jon’Tee Willhite, Eastern Illinois; LaceDarius Dunn, Baylor; De’Jon Jackson, San Diego; B-Jay Walker, Oakland and P’Allen Stinnett, Creighton.

GIVING P.A. ANNOUNCERS SERIOUS ISSUES: Qavotstaraj Waddell, UT-Chattanooga; Iman Shokouhizadeh, Centenary; Thanasi Panagiotakopoulos, Northern Colorado; Uwemedimo Eshietedoho, UMBC; Philippe Tchekane Bofia, Maine and Yves Mekongo-Mbala, La Salle.

GREAT LAST NAMES: Dionte Christmas (above), Temple (pictured); Derrick Caracter, Louisville; David Kool, Western Michigan; Drew McCool, Eastern Kentucky; Akeem Hemingway, UMKC; Chief Kickingstallionsims, Alabama State; Jacob Turnipseed, Nicholls State and Soloman HorseChief, Pacific.

GREAT FIRST NAMES: Urule Igbavboa, Valparasio; Parfait Bitee, Rhode Island; Jazz Henderson, Long Beach State; Jazz Williams, Southern; Spongy Benjamin, Marist and
Arizona ‘AZ’ Reid, Highpoint.

Others worthy of mention: The University of Colorado’s women’s team has both a Whitney Houston and a Brittany Spears! How about Creighton’s Booker Woodfox?

And don’t forget these guys either: Cookie Miller, Nebraska; Drake U'u, Hartford; Onyekautukwu Abiakam, Texas Southern; Pawel Kielbasa, Chicago State and, of course, Al-Farouq Aminu, Wake Forest (left).

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