Saturday, February 14, 2009

PASTRY NOSHING DISTRACTS SECURITY AT BIG EAST GAME?

There are reasons – many of them, in fact, too many of them to address here – why ACC hoop is better than Big East hoop. OK, we will mention one – Big East teams average 37 points per game. Yawn.

However, what happened a few Saturday nights ago at the Duncan Donuts Center in the Providence v. Marquette game has to go to the head of this list for now.

Mind you, a fan didn’t get drunk before the game and have sex with a fan from the opposing team whom she’d never met in the Men’s Room during the game (Iowa v. Minnesota 2008), but this incident, while scary in many ways, is Weird Hall of Fame material.

Here’s how it goes…




Turns out that after Jeff Xavier gets a “casual” elbow in the eye, his brother hauls himself, his big coat and his extensive criminal record onto the court to confront the ref while security staff for the Duncan Donut Center are doing what? Anybody?

We don’t know for sure, but the stereotypical response about a security staff that includes a number of off-duty cops has to involve coffee and crumbs…

Needless to say the event was a bit unnerving. Jonathan Xavier was arrested and later convicted of violating his parole which left him in the pokey for sixteen days.

Xavier still faces a disorderly conduct charge for coming down the stands.

Fast forward to Friarblog.com – a blog about Providence Hoop.

Top 10 Reasons Jonathan Xavier Walked onto the Court

10. Jonathan was furious that Geoff McDermott was taking the foul shots for Jeff. He thought the NCAA rule was that if a player was physically unable to take the free throws, the duty would go to the next of kin.

9. Jonathan was angry with the ref for not calling traveling on Jeff. He always got away with that shit when they were growing up and playing in the backyard.

8. None of the other referees ever return his phone calls or emails about other blown calls after the games. This was just easier.

7. Jonathan had only ever been to one other basketball game his entire life — a certain Pacers - Pistons game in 2004.

6. Was just storming the court like a normal fan after the Friars just beat a ranked team. Was just asking the ref why they were still playing when the game was over?

5. Jonathan had a really good knock-knock joke to tell McDermott while he was taking foul shots. Geoff was struggling at the line, and Jonathan thought it would help loosen him up.

4. He swore he heard his seat row and number called out over the loud speaker. He thought he was going to take a half court shot to try and win a prize. Turns out it was just the voices in his head.

3. Thought the referee controlled the thermostat in the building. He just wanted him to turn the heat up!

2. Marvin Barnes was watching the game at home (while lifting weights, playing a pickup game, and elbowing people in the face) and decided it was the perfect time for Geoff McDermott to TAKE THE TORCH. He texted Jonathan Xavier and told him to GIVE HIM THE TORCH before he took some foul shots. Jonathan just wanted to ask the ref first before bringing THE TORCH onto the court — You know, it being a fire hazard and all.

1. Jonathan was really excited about the deal he got on his parka at the Burlington Coat Factory, and just wanted to let everyone on the court know. After all, as Michael Scott said: “I love Burlington Coat Factory. You go in there with $645, you are literally a king”.
Nice, Friarblog, NICE!


(Xavier: AP Photo by Andres Leighton)

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