Friday, January 9, 2009


UNC head basketball Coach Roy “Ol’ Roy” Williams called a press conference moments ago to admonish local and national journalists for “wasting way too much darned ink” on the Tar Heels upset loss to the Eagles last Sunday.

“It’s sad,” Ol’ Roy said. “These kids have sacrificed so much and worked so hard, spent hours on airplanes, buses and in hotel rooms just to play a darn tough game. We’re not talking PRACTICE, Roy Williams is talking GAMES, and after all that hard work and sacrifice, the media reports that we lose.”

“My kids have to go to class, go to frat parties, relentlessly chase co-eds in spite of their obvious height and, at times, awkwardness, and even after all of those sacrifices, the media attacks this fine group of young men with headlines like “BOSTON COLLEGE UPSETS No.1 NORTH CAROLINA." That’s wrong, no, wrong isn't the right word -- it's sad."

Williams was particularly upset with the Associated Press which not only published the headline previously mentioned, but then circulated it to hundreds, if not thousands, of media outlets that rely on their services for content.

“Can you believe that, they sent that story to news outlets all over the darned country including ESPN?” Ol’ Roy queried. “First they write this incredibly inflammatory headline and accompanying story and then they send it out all over the friggin’ country. That’s sad, and Roy Williams knows sad a heck of a lot better than that ‘other’ coach at that ‘other’ school.”

(Editors Note: Words in 'italics' may not actually be true.)

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