Saturday, August 30, 2008

MR. HINKMAN HAS TOUGH WEEK

Has Republican presidential candidate John McCain gone completely crazy?

Well…maybe.

Just two days ago, the 187-year-old Senator from a state with four electoral votes dumped our main man Gary “Mr. HinkmanHicklin (from the critically important state of Virginia which boasts 3,254 electoral votes) as his V.P. running mate and picked up some rookie Governor from another politically (and for the most part, geographically) insignificant state -- Alaska (1 electoral vote, 9,054 people and 4,789,520 moose.).

TAH’s political analysts far and wide (we have a whole stable of ‘em parked on bar stools across this great country!) were dumbfounded with his choice of Sarah Palin. McCain’s choice of an woman (no matter how inexperienced or conservative) was clearly intended to lure Hilary Clinton supporters over to the ticket at the expense of moderate Republicans.

In doing so, McCain took some of the teeth out of his knock on Democratic nominee, Barack Obama, who McCain has consistently said lacks the experience necessary to be the leader of the free world.

Hmmm

If anything happens to the McCain, President Palin brings to the table two WHOLE years as the Governor of Alaska…ALASKA (see moose at right), for crying out loud! It’s not even a real state.

It’s a scant 53 frozen miles of Bering Strait from being in Russia. If it didn’t have all those natural resources that the tree huggers won’t let us pillage, we would have never invited them into our little democracy to start with…Jeez.

But we digress. You want experience? We give you experience. Instead of Mr. Hinkman, a world-class American and proven leader of both men and women, Mr. McCain gives us a bachelor of science degree in communications-journalism from the University of Idaho. Again, not a real state. No potatoes, no statehood. (There's a pattern here.)

Her past occupations included being a “commercial fishing company owner, outdoor recreational equipment company owner and sports reporter.” This got her all warmed up and ready for public service as a town council member and ultimately MAYOR of Wasilla, Alaska – population 6,500!

(For you local folks, that number should sound familiar. It’s very similar to the population of our very own Warrenton, VA, the home of TAH.)

Sorry, Mr. Hinkman, SORRY!

You wuz robbed.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: The above story is parody. It's comedy. It is meant to be funny. It is not meant to offend anybody from Alaska or Idaho. We love both state's. They're both cool. So don't bombard us with indignant emails. Just hang around a day or two and we will make fun of somebody else. Promise.)

…AND THEN HE READ THE PAPER

...and depression set in.

Shortly after finding out he’d been tossed of the Republican presidential ticket, our main man Gary “Mr. HinkmanHicklin picked up the local papers “Weekend” section only to learn he’d been upstaged yet again by a young female runner.

Not three weeks after Mr. Hinkman’s triumphant return to Warrenton, VA from his cross-country bike ride – a little event the local rag failed to cover, we might add – the headlines scream “3,200 MILES LATER:” The story is about N.C. State grad Elena Helmerick who ran...yes, you read that right…RAN across the U.S. (The Continental U.S. that is…both Hinkman and Helmerick didn’t even factor in Alaska which shows you, yet again, why choosing the Governor from that state to be V.P. is just plain “crazy talk.”)

Helmerick, a 24-year-old intern at Mount Sterling Farm in Rappahannock County, VA (1,349 electoral votes) became the 10th woman in history to run from one coast to the other. She works on the farm taking care of the animals and selling meat.

An advocate of a healthier lifestyle, Helmerick has been running all her life. She and her beau rented a RV and headed off across the country starting in Virginia Beach. It took her four months to reach her destination on the California coast. In doing so, Helmerick, who was raising money for two charities, ran an average of 30 miles A DAY for 115 DAYS!!

“There were sections where I’d run 32 miles a day, like in Kansas where it’s a little bit easier,” Helmerick told the Fauquier Times-Democrat Weekend. “Then, over the mountains, I’d run 20 miles a day because it got tough. The most I ran a day was 35 miles a day.”

Typically, she ran three hours in the morning and three hours at night.

To that TAH says, Nice, Elena, NICE! You are a bad a**!

Mr. Hinkman could not be reached for comment, but his spokesperson said he may have mumbled something like “let’s see her pull off that s*** when she’s my age…” while reading the story.

More can be found at http://www.run3200.com/.

FLORIDA STATE IS DOOMED, PART 1,798

According to ESPN.com's Heather Dinich: Florida State running back Tavares Pressley, who injured his left knee in practice on Thursday, has a torn ACL and will miss the entire season, according to a statement from the school.

An MRI exam Friday morning confirmed the ACL tear.

Pressley, a junior college transfer, had to be carted off the field Thursday after he was injured.

The knee injury is the latest setback for Pressley. After transferring from El Camino (Calif.) Community College, academic issues kept him sidelined for more than a week at the start of Florida State's preseason camp.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

When he was asked whether he'd try to work a backup quarterback into Saturday's game against McNeese State, North Carolina coach Butch Davis said he didn't know.

"We're just trying to get a first down,'' he said

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO…

HMMM…

The NFL once fined Cincinnati Bengal’s wide receiver Chad Johnson $5,000 for putting “Ocho Cinco” on the back of his jersey during pre-game warm ups. Looks like Johnson’s getting the last laugh.

According to various sources, the Chadster has legally changed his name to Chad Javon Ocho Cinco in Broward County, Fla., a switch that became official this week. Ocho Cinco, who lives in Miami, didn’t return a message left on his cell phone Friday night.

“It’s something I don’t think anyone has ever done before,” he told the team’s Web site. “Have I ever had a reason for why I do what I do? I’m having fun.”

Two years ago, Johnson gave himself the moniker—a reference in Spanish to his No. 85—and put it on the back of his uniform before a game. Quarterback Carson Palmer ripped it off before the kickoff and the NFL suits fined Mr. Cinco for his stunt. After the season, coach Marvin Lewis—who dislikes Johnson’s attention-getting stunts—referred to the receiver as “Ocho Psycho.”

Bengals spokesman Jack Brennan said the Bengals “no tenĂ­a comentario sobre la material.”

FOOTBALL SATURDAY

Saturday, Aug 30
VIRGINIA TECH (-9.5) @ East Carolina (Pirates, 19,000 students, Greenville, NC), 12:00 PM, Charlotte, N.C., TV: ESPN (XM 190)

USC (-18.5) @ VIRGINIA, 3:30 PM, Charlottesville, Va., TV: ABC (XM 191)

Delaware (Blue Hens, 16,500 students, Newark, DE) @ MARYLAND (-18), 3:45 PM, College Park, Md., TV: ESPNU (XM 190)

McNeese State (Cowboys, 7,053 students, Lake Charles, LA) @ NORTH CAROLINA (-16), 6:00 PM, Chapel Hill, N.C., (XM 193)

James Madison (Dukes, 16,500 students, Harrisonburg, VA) @ DUKE (-1.5), 7:00 PM, Durham, N.C., TV: ACC Select (XM 190)

BOSTON COLLEGE (-9.5) @ Kent State (Golden Flashes, 29,200 students, Kent, OH), 7:30 PM, Cleveland, Ohio, TV: ESPNU (XM 192)

Alabama @ CLEMSON (-4.5), 8:00 PM, Atlanta, Ga. (Georgia Dome), TV: ABC (XM 191)

PICTURE OF THE DAY

HE'S A RAINBOW...Almost.

American Nicky Hayden rides his Honda motorbike during the Moto GP free practice session at Misano track for the San Marino Grand Prix in Misano Adriatico on August 30, 2008.

Green and purple is about all Hayden is missing. Note the pink on the gloves.

(Photo by Vincenzo Pinto/AFP/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 2

MEET THE STONERS…No kidding.

Adriana Stoner adjusts the shirt of her husband, Australian world champion MotoGP racer Casey Stoner before the third free practice session at the San Marino Grand Prix of the MotoGP on August 30, 2008 in Misano Adriatico.

Where is Misano Adiatico...anybody?

(Photo by Mario Laporta/AFP/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 3

BE CAREFUL…that thing’s dangerous…oh yeah, I race motorcycles.

Italian Olympic champion fencer Valentina Vezzali (left - duh) jokes with Italian MotoGP racer Valentino Rossi at the end of the third free practice session at the San Marino and Rimini's Grand Prix of the MotoGP on August 30, 2008 in Misano Adriatico.

Seven-time world champion Rossi won the last MotoGP outing in the Czech Republic, after Stoner spun off in the seventh lap.

Damn it, Casey...you...you...you...stoner!

(Photo by Mario Laporta/AFP/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 4

WHO KNEW…? Is Manny Ramirez moonlighting on the Cricket ground?

Nah, it’s Australian cricketer Andrew Symonds throwing the ball during a training session at the Sydney Cricket Ground. All-rounder Symonds has been sent home from the one-day series against Bangladesh in Darwin for a “disciplinary breach.”

Good news: His lips are not gonna get sunburned.

(Photo by Greg Wood/AFP/Getty Images)

Friday, August 29, 2008

FUTURE ACC FOOTBALL TEAM REBUILDS AFTER SHORT HIATUS

Dale Steele had one of the toughest jobs in college football: Convincing recruits to play for a Campbell College football program that didn’t exist.

There weren’t any highlight reels, no bowl trophies, no jerseys of Camels-turned-NFL-stars hanging in the fieldhouse behind the stadium. Until recently, there wasn’t a stadium.

No wonder that, time after time during his two years on the job, many of those recruits would slam their front doors on him, skeptical of what would become of a Campbell program that hadn’t played a game since the Korean War.

This is the week Steele has been waiting for: After a 58-year hiatus, football is back in Buies Creek, NC.

The Camels are relaunching their program in the nonscholarship Pioneer Football League with the ambitious hopes of someday duplicating Appalachian State’s championship-subdivision success and maybe even jumping another level to compete for bowl berths. But for now, the once-dormant junior-college power will start out at a decided disadvantage with little tradition and no recent history to sell—at least, not yet.

Since the plan to revive football here was hatched in 2004, the hopes have risen considerably at this tiny Baptist university tucked an hour’s drive south of Raleigh in the tobacco fields of central North Carolina – that little place we like to call “Tobacco Road.”

The private school with the modest athletic tradition—perhaps best known for the men’s basketball team’s only NCAA tournament appearance in 1992 when the Camels were routed by Duke—has invested a reported $6 million in its football program.

Go Camels, beat Duke!

(AP Photos/Gerry Broome)

GEORGIA TECH 41, JACKSONVILLE STATE 14

They call Paul Johnson’s offense “The Perfect Option.” So far, so good.

The Yellowjacket’s Jonathan Dwyer and quarterback Josh Nesbitt each ran for two touchdowns, Morgan Burnett intercepted two first-half passes and Georgia Tech beat Jacksonville State 41-14 on Thursday night.

Jacksonville State QB Ryan Perrilloux was in line to start for LSU this season before being dismissed by the Tigers for disciplinary reasons. Looking for a place to play immediately, he landed at the FCS school and immediately became the starter.

He was 22-for-37 passing for 136 yards, including two touchdown passes to Maurice Dupree. Perrilloux led the Gamecocks with 18 carries for 67 yards.

Johnson, the former Navy coach, had his triple-option offense ready after much concern based on a rash of turnovers in the spring game and summer scrimmages. Georgia Tech ran for 349 yards and had 484 total yards.

(#20 RB Rodney Jones, photo by Mike Zarrilli/Getty Images)

MIAMI 52, CHARLESTON SOUTHERN 7

Graig Cooper had a 66-yard punt return for a touchdown and rushed for another score, quarterback Jacory Harris accounted for two touchdowns and Miami moved into its new home with a 52-7 season-opening win Thursday night over Charleston Southern.

Javarris James rushed 12 times for 73 yards and a touchdown for the Hurricanes (1-0), who took full control with a 21-point first. Derron Thomas and Shawnbrey McNeal also had touchdown runs for Miami, which outgained its outmatched opponent from the Football Championship Subdivision 416-126.

It won't be so easy next weekend; the Hurricanes visit No. 5 Florida on Sept. 6. Yike!

Back-up QB Harris was 16-for-26 for 190 yards for the Hurricanes, who didn't score more than 37 points in any game last season and eclipsed that with ease Thursday - albeit against an opponent with just two winning seasons in its history.

It was Miami's highest-scoring game since Oct. 8, 2005, a 52-7 win over…drum roll, please…Duke.

Defensive back Jacques Bazile #13 of the Charleston Southern Buccaneers dives to try and knock down a pass intended for wide receiver Leonard Hankerson #85 of the Miami Hurricanes. (Photo by Doug Benc/Getty Images)

SOUTH CAROLINA 34, NC STATE 0

According to ACCNOW, N.C. State started August practice with five options at quarterback. It might need to find five more.

State's offense was brutal, with and without Russell Wilson, who won the preseason quarterback scramble but got knocked out of the game with 4:09 left in the second quarter.

Wilson, Daniel Evans and Harrison Beck combined to go 5 of 20 for 49 yards with two interceptions, both by Evans. Evans and Beck showed why they got beat out by Wilson, repeating the same mistakes — poor decision-making, forced throws, holding on to the ball too long — they made in State's 1-5 start in 2007 when they shared the job.

The Wolfpack defense kept them in the game with three interceptions holding the Gamecocks to a 3-0 halftime lead. But the wheels came off in the second half.
(AP Photo/Brett Flashnick)

WAKE FOREST 41, Baylor 13

Riley Skinner (#11) tossed three touchdown passes, two to Chip Brinkman, and No. 23 Wake Forest played up to its first preseason ranking in school history with a 41-13 win over Baylor on Thursday night.

Skinner, whose 72 percent completion percentage led the nation last season, was coolly efficient against the Bears, going 27 of 36 for 220 yards, adding a 43-yard TD strike to Ben Wooster in third quarter. He also earned his 19th career victory, a school record for a quarterback.

Baylor, trying to shake off 12 years of losing, hired coach Art Briles away from Houston to replace Guy Morriss. But Briles became just another victim of dubious Bears history, becoming the sixth of the last seven Baylor coaches to lose his first game.

(AP Photo/ Donna McWilliam)

A SMALL GLIMMER OF HOPE

Very small.

USC quarterback Mark Sanchez has officially been cleared by doctors to play tomorrow against Virginia.

That much reassured coach Pete Carroll. What did not was Sanchez's practice on Tuesday, when he threw two interceptions during the team's final scrimmage drill.

"There's some rust in there and we've got to hopefully get him clean by the weekend," Carroll said.

Sanchez said the interceptions occurred because of a little carelessness, too much adrenaline after officially being cleared by doctors, and good defensive play, adding that he "felt as close to 100 percent as I've felt in a long time."

FSU IS DOOMED, PART 136

Florida State defensive tackle Emmanuel Dunbar was taken by ambulance to a hospital after suffering a back injury Wednesday in practice.

The redshirt junior has a history of back problems, including a 2006 surgery to repair two herniated disks. He was released from the hospital on Thursday and returned to the university's athletic complex at the end of practice.

Florida State's sports information department said Thursday morning that Dunbar had motor sensory function and was walking.

Team officials had to cut Dunbar's jersey and shoulder pads off Wednesday to load him into the ambulance.

"You hate to see that happen to anybody," Florida State coach Bobby Bowden said. "And you don't know the extent of it, so it scares you when the ambulance comes. We know he's in good hands." (And, yes, Coach Bowden had no idea what Dunbar's name is, but he did refrain from referring to his fallen warrior as "ol' #96"...)

Dunbar played in three games last season, and was expected to start the first three games this year while two other Seminoles defensive tackles serve academic misconduct suspensions.

DEAR MR. SNYDER:

Once again, it appears that the problem isn’t the coaches, it’s the players. The team, hand built by you and your henchman Vinnie C., that couldn’t move the ball for Hall of Fame Coach Joe Gibbs and now for Freshman Jim “Never Head Coached Anything” Zorn showed us yet again last night just how bad they are.

Fourteen, count ‘em, fourteen yards.

Nice, Redskins, NICE!

Now, we have determined, a la the Ol’ Ball Coach, that our third and fourth teamers can whip the snot out of your third and fourth teamers, but it currently looks like our first teamers might have some trouble with Georgia, Ohio State, USC or Oklahoma.

Surely, there is another Jeff George or Mark Brunell out there who can magically save us prior to the opening game against THE SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS…jeez.

Like Florida State, we’re doomed.

Running Back Clinton Portis #26 of the Washington Redskins sits on the bench (where it's safe) without padsl during the preseason game against the Jacksonville Jaguars.

(Photo by Larry French/Getty Images)

PICTURE(S) OF THE DAY

OBVIOUSLY, THE FLAG STORE WAS CLOSED...US boxing promoter Don King waves flags while presenting Russian boxer Nikolai Valuev and US boxer John Ruiz at the official weighing in at the IFA (Internationale Funkaustellung) Consumer Electronics Trade Fair, at Berlin's fair ground August 29, 2008.

Guess, the Donster couldn't come up with a little Russian flag or maybe he doesn't know the difference between the Russian and German flag...or maybe there is a very rare bird, the Fulvous Whistling-Duck, hiding in his hair?




(Photos by Clemens Bilan/AFP/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 2

LIKE ROCK STARS...Members of the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, including linebacker Brad Jefferson #51, offensive lineman Clyde Yandell #78 and defensive lineman Logan Walls #96, run out of the tunnel before the game against the Jacksonville State Gamecocks at Bobby Dodd Stadium at Historic Grant Field on August 28, 2008 in Atlanta, Georgia.

(Photo by Mike Zarrilli/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 3

BUMMER...Head coach Jack Crowe of the Jacksonville State Gamecocks collects his thoughts after a Georgia Tech touchdown during the game against the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets.

(Photo by Mike Zarrilli/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 4

HUH...? We aren't quite sure the message this Cane's fan was trying to deliver.

A spectator shows a sign during Miami's first football game at Dolphin Stadium, against Charleston Southern in Miami on Thursday, Aug. 28, 2008.

(AP Photo/Hans Deryk)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 5

LOOKOUT, WORLD...If the boys over in the UAE go after car racing like they have horse racing (where they dominate in Europe and the United Kingdom), it will be something to see.

This picture relased by the Al-Ain Club in the United Arab Emirates on August 29, 2008 shows a picture of Al-Ain Superleague Formula car outside the Emirates Palace Hotel in Abu Dhabi on June 8, 2008.

(Photo AFP/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 6

BAD MATH…Number one seeded Ana Ivanovic of Serbia returns to Julie Coin of France (ranked 188 in the world rankings) at the US Open tennis tournament August 28, 2008 in Flushing Meadows, NY. Coin won the match in a huge upset 6-3 4-6 6-3.

Olympic hangover, perhaps?

(Photo by Don Emmert/AFP/Getty Images)

Thursday, August 28, 2008

GENTLEMEN: START YOUR ENGINES!

Four ACC teams--Georgia Tech, Miami, NC State and Wake Forest--begin the 2008 season--the ACC’s 56th football campaign--on Thursday night, with seven others scheduled for Saturday contests as all but Florida State open play on the season’s first weekend. If the Seminoles do have a game, Coach Bowden has forgotten where it is.

Thursday, Aug 28
Jacksonville State (Gamecocks, 9,000 students, Jackonsville, AL) @ GEORGIA TECH (-29), 7:30 PM, Atlanta, Ga., TV: ESPN360 (XM 190)

Charleston Southern (Bucaneers, 3,000 students, Charleston, SC) @ MIAMI (-35), 7:30 PM, Miami Gardens, Fla., TV: ESPN360 (XM 191)

N.C. State @ SOUTH CAROLINA (-14), 8:00 PM, Columbia, S.C., TV: ESPN (XM 193)

WAKE FOREST (-11.5) @ Baylor, 8:00 PM, Waco, Texas, TV: FSN (XM 192)

Saturday, Aug 30
VIRGINIA TECH (-9.5) @ East Carolina (Pirates, 19,000 students, Greenville, NC), 12:00 PM, Charlotte, N.C., TV: ESPN (XM 190)

USC (-18.5) @ VIRGINIA, 3:30 PM, Charlottesville, Va., TV: ABC (XM 191)

Delaware (Blue Hens, 16,500 students, Newark, DE) @ MARYLAND (-18), 3:45 PM, College Park, Md., TV: ESPNU (XM 190)

McNeese State (Cowboys, 7,053 students, Lake Charles, LA) @ NORTH CAROLINA (-16), 6:00 PM, Chapel Hill, N.C., (XM 193)

James Madison (Dukes, 16,500 students, Harrisonburg, VA) @ DUKE (-1.5), 7:00 PM, Durham, N.C., TV: ACC Select (XM 190)

BOSTON COLLEGE (-9.5) @ Kent State (Golden Flashes, 29,200 students, Kent, OH), 7:30 PM, Cleveland, Ohio, TV: ESPNU (XM 192)

Alabama @ CLEMSON (-4.5), 8:00 PM, Atlanta, Ga. (Georgia Dome), TV: ABC (XM 191)

THE RIDDLE WATCH II

Ramseur, NC navtive and sophomore All-American Scott Riddle, the Souther Confrence (SoCon) and National Freshman of Year last season, will lead the Elon Pheonix (#15 in the preseason Subdivision poll) against Richmond (#6) this Saturday.

Riddle led the FCS in passing yards per game (347.0) and completions per game (31.5) in 2007. He also ranked second nationally in total passing yards (3,817), third in both total offense (339.8 yards per game) and points responsible for (22.2 per game) and 16th in passing efficiency (146.3 rating).

Riddle finished his rookie campaign with a 68.1 completion percentage, connecting on 346 of his 508 passes with 13 interceptions and 31 aerial touchdowns. He also ran for nine touchdowns.

Riddle also ended up with NCAA freshman records for touchdown passes, total offense per game and net yards.

EVIDENTLY PEOPLE IN ALABAMA ARE A LTTLE SENSITIVE

...about their cars.

No doubt those Crimson Tiders will poke fun at themselves, but you better not.

Clemson Defensive Coordinator Vic Koenning made a little joke and evidently the boys down in Alabama were NOT amused.

After Monday night’s practice, Koenning responded to a question about Crimson Tide star freshman Julio Jones (below) by saying he had seen Jones and fellow blue-chip receiver B.J. Scott get in Cadillac Escalades on separate occasions — a shot at Alabama’s recruiting methods.

Koenning sought out reporters later Monday night, suggesting he had been “kidding around,” but the damage had been done.

The comment rippled through the state of Alabama and led Scott’s prep coach, Vigor High’s Kerry Stevenson, to tell the Mobile Press-Register that Koenning “better not come back on campus.”

Koenning said Tuesday he has no idea what vehicles those players drive.

“I thought I was so off the wall that I thought it was tongue-in-cheek and even went back to make sure that those around knew I was joking.”

The involved parties did not share that interpretation.

“Here’s a school (Clemson) that’s had zero bad blood and has recruited that state actively,” Clemson head coach Tommy Bowden said. “That’s why I was kind of surprised it snowballed and got the momentum it did.

“We didn’t even recruit him — Julio Jones. So that shows you how insignificant the statement is.”

WHEN LESS IS NOT MORE

N.C. State is unlikely to enjoy an abundance of offensive production from its current squad so losing their best RB to injury for tonight’s opener against South Carolina isn’t helping. Not at all.

According to ESPN.com's Heather Dinich, Wolfpack coach Tom O'Brien said Tuesday that running back Jamelle Eugene, the team's top returning rusher, will miss the season opener with an ankle injury. He'll be replaced by senior Andre Brown.

Also out is junior Toney Baker, NC State's leading rusher in 2006. Baker is still recovering from preseason knee surgery.

The other interesting tidbit to come out of Raleigh is that O'Brien is considering using quarterback Russell Wilson as a punt returner.

TOLY HANSBROUGH: FYF COLTS

As you may know, UNC multiple sports recruit “Toly Hansbrough” has, at the request of Butch Davis, taken up the sport of football. (OK, it wasn’t the Butch Davis, just some kid named Butch Davis who got mad at the Tolinator during a hoops whippin’ and said “Why don’t you go play football?”)

He is playing for the Fauquier Youth Football Colts in the 5-6 Instructional League. The team’s endeavors will be chronicled at http://www.fyfcolts.blogspot.com/.

TOLY HANSBROUGH QUOTE OF THE DAY:

At the end of a big weekend that included a birthday party, a football game and a swimming party, T-Man was in between two “last day of summer vacation” trips to the Carousel Ice Cream Stand when he made the poor decision to give his mother some lip about something relatively insignificant. The exchange went something like this…

WHAT TOLY HEARD HIS MOM SAY: “I can’t believe you are acting this way when blah, blah, blah, you’re grandparents are taking you to get ice cream for the SECOND time today blah, blah, blah, how lucky you are, blah, blah, blah I ought to (insert disciplinary action of choice here) and march you upstairs to the corner in your room!”

WHAT TOLY SAID IN RESPONSE: “Do I have any options?”

Negotiating -- it’s an important skill set.

PICTURE OF THE DAY

LET’S REVIEW…As a final farewell to the 2008 Olympics lets review a few lapses in sportsmanship and some down right cheatin’!

The boys over at Sports Illustrated put together a little photo essay of not-so-classic Olympic moments, and we thought we’d share.

Starting with, a Keith Jackson used to say, the Grandaddy of them all!

In 1972, the youngest U.S. team in Olympic history saw its 63-game win snapped by the arch rival Soviet Union in the final agonizing ticks of the gold medal game. Referees twice put precious seconds back on the clock with the U.S. ahead, 50-49. First, the Soviets argued they'd signaled for a time out. Then play was restarted after the final buzzer because the clock had not been reset after the first stoppage. Given yet another chance, Alexander Belov snared a full-court pass and dropped in the winning lay-up at the buzzer.

The U.S. filed a formal protest with the International Basketball Federation and refused to pick up its silver medals. To this day, the members of the team have not accepted them.

Here's the squad: Mike Bantom (St. Joseph's), Jim Brewer (Minnesota), Tommy Burleson (NC State), Doug Collins (Illinois State), Kenny Davis (Georgetown KY College), James Forbes (Texas-El Paso), Thomas Henderson (San Jacinto J.C.), Bobby Jones, (North Carolina), Dwight Jones, (Houston), Kevin Joyce (South Carolina), Tom McMillen (Maryland) and Ed Ratleff (Long Beach State).

(Photo by AP/File)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 2

OUCH...China's pitchers plunked five U.S. batters, sending right fielder Matt LaPorta to the hospital. The Americans exacted a form of payback by plowing over a pair of Chinese catchers at the plate.

(Photo by Frederic J. Brown/AFP/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 3

TAKE THIS MEDAL...and shove it?

Ara Abrahamian, a Swedish wrestler who won silver at the Athens Olympics, lost during the semifinal round in Beijing to Italy's Andrea Minguzzi. He would later accuse the judges of corruption. After winning the third-place match, Abrahamian stepped off the podium, dropped his bronze medal in the middle of the wrestling mat and stormed out of the ceremony in protest.

Following the IOC's disciplinary hearing, Abramian was disqualified and kicked out of the Games for violating the spirit of fair play.

(Photo: AP)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 4

HAY, OATS AND....capsaicin?

This horse from Norway's bronze-medal team -- along with three others in the equestrian team jumping event -- tested positive for the pain reliever capsaicin and earned suspensions from the sport's international governing body.

(Photo by Mike Clarke/AFP/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 5

GROSS...Six-time gold medalist Amy Van Dyken had the charming habit of spitting a mouthful of water into the lane of her nearest competitor -- "for good luck," she claimed. But Van Dyken took a lot of heat after doing the watery honors to Holland's Inge De Bruijn before the 50-meter freestyle final at the Sydney Games.

After finishing fourth to De Bruijn, who bagged three golds, Van Dyken sniffed that she could have won "if I were a man" -- a snarky suggestion that De Bruijn was using performance-enhancers.

(Photo by Timothy Clary/AFP/Getty Images)

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

CANES SUSPEND SEVEN FOR OPENER

Here's how this goes...College kid screws up. College kid gets in trouble with the law/school/coach. College kid gets suspended for a game.

Major powers in both basketball and football have long started their seasons with "easy" games. In basketball the schedule is full of the "Sisters of the Poor" for most of November and December, and, now that the NCAA let's Football Subdivision (old 1AA) teams count toward bowl eligibility, teams are quick to open against "Never Heard of 'Em State."

Add to the reasons to go soft early is the simple fact that such games give coaches a chance to suspend players for games they should win no matter who sits and who plays.

Enter Miami.

Head coach Randy Shannon named Robert Marve his starting quarterback and then suspended him for the Canes' opener Thursday night against Charleston Southern (Bucaneers, 3,000 students, Charleston, SC).

Then to clear the decks, Shannon suspended six other players for the game.

Marve, a redshirt freshman, will miss the game due to an incident stemming back to last year. He was arrested Oct. 31 for smashing a car mirror and was initially charged with two misdemeanors. Those were later lifted, but Marve is being punished by the University now.

He will be replaced by true freshman Jacory Harris (r) , a Miami native.

The other suspended players are running backs Damien Berry and Eric Houston, defensive end Adewale Ojomo, defensive back Randy Phillips, wide receiver Kayne Farquaharson and long snapper Chris Ivory. Miami officials would not say why those six were suspended.

ACC FOOTBALL PRESEASON REPORT

The ACC football season starts on Saturday, and TAH (with an assist from ESPN The Magazine) is here to tell you all you need to know. If you are looking for an in depth preview of your favorite team, click on. Go to Rivals.com or ESPN.com ‘cause you ain’t gonna get that here.

Here you get wit, wisdom and brevity.

Top to bottom, it goes like this:

1) CLEMSON – The Tigers return the ACC’s top QB in Cullen Harper as well as the best WR and RB (James Davis - right). There will be no stopping them, except for the one game each year they manage to lose to a team that should never beat them. To top it off, they now have two Blasers.
2) VIRGINIA TECH – TAH always says the key to good college football teams is the quality of play at quarterback. The Hokies have two starting QBs in Sean Glennon and Tyrod Taylor. Oops…not so fast. Now they only have one. (see below)
3) WAKE FOREST – The Deacons will continue to thrive with CB Alphonso Smith (8 picks last year) leading the defense. Speaking of I-N-T’s, signal caller Riley Smith will have to shake off his sophomore slump of 13 interceptions.
4) FLORIDA STATE – We put them here out of respect to a southern football powerhouse. Please, we beg you, don’t embarrass us.
5) BOSTON COLLEGE – Don’t look now but there was more to the Eagles than Matt Ryan. Unfortunately for them, all the talent is on defense. Their returning offensive starters account for 28 yards passing and 6 yards rushing per game.
6) MIAMI – If they stop suspending people, they could improve over last year’s debacle. They have a good RB (Javarris James) and some good ole Cane “tude,” but they are still a ways away from being back on top.
7) NORTH CAROLINA – The folks in Chapel Hill think Butch Davis can turn this thing around in two years. The Tar Heels are returning their top 8 rushers – talk about running back by committee. Davis or not, look for hoops talk to start in early October.
8) NC STATE – Nobody cares about N.C. State except N.C. State, and we don’t know why…A quarterback controversy will no doubt come to a head if Daniel Evans, Harrison Beck and freshmen Mike Glennon can’t figure out that their guys are wearing red.
9) VIRGINIA – Coach Al “Fire” Groh built his offense around sophomore QB Jameel Sewell and then tossed him off the team. Oops. The defense wasn’t that good with Jake Long, how good can they be now? They open with USC...jeez.
10) GEORGIA TECH – Can Paul Johnson’s veer offense, or whatever you want to call it, work in the ACC? Probably not in year 1. Since the coach only has a total of 16 career completions on his roster, running might be his only option. On the plus side they have a freshmen QB named Jaybo Shaw (r). Nice, Jaybo, NICE!
11) MARYLAND – Argghhhhhhhhhh. That’s the sound Coach Fridge makes when anybody says the word “quarterback.” The Terps have a transfer QB from Florida and a transfer safety from USC. Key to future success: more transfers from pigskin powerhouses.
12) DUKE – well, they’re Duke. The last time Duke won a regular season ACC game (fill in the blank) was still alive…

ALL-ACC PRESEASON SELECTIONS

Clemson senior quarterback Cullen Harper has been selected as the Preseason ACC Football Player of the Year in voting by media attending the annual ACC Football Kickoff earlier this month at Reynolds Plantation in Greensboro.

Harper, who set 21 school records and was named second-team All-ACC quarterback in 2007, received 34 votes in the balloting. His teammate, senior running back James Davis, was second, being named on 16 ballots. No other player received more than four votes.
Yet again, TAH was not invited.

OFFENSE
QB - Cullen Harper, Clemson
RB - Josh Adams, Wake Forest
RB - James Davis, Clemson
WR - Aaron Kelly, Clemson
WR - Hakeem Nicks (below), North Carolina
TE - Ryan Purvis, Boston College
T - Andrew Gardner, Georgia Tech
T - Eugene Monroe, Virginia
G - Rodney Hudson, Florida State
G - Sergio Render, Virginia Tech
C - Edwin Williams (right), Maryland

DEFENSE
DE - Everette Brown, Florida State
DE - Michael Johnson, Georgia Tech
DT - Ron Brace, Boston College
DT - Vance Walker, Georgia Tech
LB - Aaron Curry, Wake Forest
LB - Clint Sintim, Virginia
LB - Brian Toal, Boston College
CB - Victor Harris, Virginia Tech
CB - Alphonso Smith, Wake Forest
S - Michael Hamlin, Clemson
S - Myron Rolle, Florida State

SPECIALIST
PK - Sam Swank, Wake Forest
P - Graham Gano, Florida State
RET - Brandon Tate, North Carolina

HOKIES SEEK TO REDSHIRT TAYLOR

If history does, in fact, repeat itself (which it has a nasty habit of doing) the Hokies will name Sean Glennon their starting quarterback and redshirt Tyrod Taylor. Glennon will then a) suck, b) get hurt or c) get tossed off the team.

Nonetheless according to ESPN and AP, Virginia Tech coach Frank Beamer said Tuesday he wants to redshirt quarterback Tyrod Taylor, and that Sean Glennon will be the Hokies' starting quarterback this season.

Taylor, who played last year as a true freshman, will dress this year and travel with the team. Cory Holt will be the No. 2 quarterback. Beamer entered this summer with the goal of heading into the season opener with one quarterback, not two.

"That's our plan as of today," Beamer said. "We'll see how that goes."

Glennon completed 143 of 235 passes (60.9 percent) for 1,796 yards and 12 touchdowns last season. He was named the MVP of the ACC championship game after throwing three touchdown passes in the win over Boston College.

If he sits all year, Taylor would have three years of eligibility remaining after this season, and would join a young offense that will be nurtured along this year.

The presence of Holt makes it work, Beamer said, and the decision gives the coach peace of mind heading into the No. 17 Hokies' season opener against East Carolina on Saturday.

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