ONLY 142 DAYS UNTIL FOOTBALL

FSU will not lose on opening weekend.

Thursday, August 28

Jacksonville State at GEORGIA TECH (T.A.H. PICK = GT)

Charleston Southern at MIAMI (Nice, Miami NICE -- don’t pick on Charleston, go for Charleston Southern)

NC STATE at South Carolina, ESPN (South Carolina)

Saturday, August 30

BOSTON COLLEGE at Kent State (Cleveland) (B.C.)

Alabama vs. CLEMSON (Ga. Dome) (Alabama, but it’s close)

James Madison at DUKE (Funny…JMU)

Delaware at MARYLAND (The Fridge better not lose the opener to the Blue Hens)

McNeese State at NORTH CAROLINA (Same for Butch Davis v. McNeese)

Southern California at VIRGINIA (Like as in USC? For real? Nice, UVA, NICE!…Slaughter rule: USC)

VIRGINIA TECH at East Carolina (Charlotte) (Hokies in another close one)

WAKE FOREST at Baylor (Hmm…Wake?)

WOMEN'S FINAL SET

TENNESSEE 47, LSU 46

Alexis Hornbuckle made her only two count.
It was just enough to put defending champion Tennessee back into the title game.

Hornbuckle’s putback with seven-tenths of a second left lifted the Lady Vols to a 47-46 victory over LSU in Sunday night’s national semifinal. It was the lowest scoring game in Final Four history.

It’s no coincidence that LSU announced that previous Duke A.D. Joe Alleva had been hired. Let the losing begin.

(Tennessee's Alexis Hornbuckle (14) and Candace Parker leave the floor. AP Photo/Amy Sancetta)

STANFORD 82, CONNECTICUT 73

Candice Wiggins refused to let Stanford lose to Connecticut. Not again.

The Cardinal star continued her electrifying run through the NCAA tournament, scoring 25 points and grabbing 13 rebounds while getting some timely help from Kayla Pedersen and JJ Hones as Stanford shocked Connecticut 82-73 in Sunday night’s national semifinals.

Back in the Final Four for the first time in 11 years, the Cardinal (35-3) avenged an early season loss to the Huskies (36-2) and advanced to Tuesday night’s title game, where they’ll put a 23-game winning streak on the line against Tennessee.

(Stanford's Candice Wiggins celebrates her team's 82-73 win over Connecticut. AP Photo/Gerry Broome)

WHAT’S IN A NAME?

Comply Or Die, the easy winner of the T.A.H. 2008 Worst Horse Name of the Year Award, produced a gutsy jumping display to win the $1.59 million Grand National Steeplecahse at Aintree near Liverpool on Saturday.

The race is constantly under pressure from English animal rights group exorcised over the inherent danger of the long race with big jumps such as Beecher’s Brook and The Chair. This year 40 horses started and only 15 finished. There have been 11 fatalities in the past 11 years.
So who names their horse Comply or Die? Jeez.

All that aside, the 7-1 well-backed joint favorite triumphed by four lengths from King Johns Castle (20-1), ridden by Paul Carberry, with Snowy Morning (16-1) a further length-and-a-half back in third after the four-and-a-half mile marathon over 30 fences.

Irishman Timmy Murphy, 33, was always going well on Comply Or Die and pushed him into the lead at the last of 30 fences. The nine-year-old then readily held off his pursuers to give Murphy his first National win in 12 attempts.

Murphy has overcome his own demons to get his career back on track. He has battled alcoholism and in 2002 served a short prison sentence for indecently assaulting an air stewardess when drunk on a flight back to London.

Nice, Timmy, NICE!

(Photos by Carl De Souza/AFP/Getty Images and Paul Ellis/AFP/Getty Images)

PICTURE(S) OF THE DAY

IT WAS A NICE DAY IN CALIFORIA...for some golf and then a swim.

Annika Sorenstam of Sweden hits her tee shot on the 15th green during the final round of the Kraft Nabisco Championship at Mission Hills Country Club on April 6, 2008 in Rancho Mirage, California.

Lorena Ochoa of Mexico leads the traditional rush to the water beside the 18th green after the final round of the Nabisco, the LPGA's first major.

Below, Ochoa celebrates amongst close family members and friends in the water beside the 18th green.

Hey, you gotta do, what you gotta do...

(Photos by David Cannon/Getty Images and Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 2

NICE STICK…Is she really little or is that driver really big?

Suzann Pettersen, of Norway, watches her tee shot on 10th hole during the final round of the LPGA's Kraft Nabisco Championship golf tournament in Rancho Mirage, Calif., Sunday, April 6, 2008.

(AP Photo/Chris Carlson)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 3

COLORFUL, AND FAST…Carl Edwards, driver of the #99 Aflac Ford, and Dale Earnhardt Jr., driver of the #88 National Guard/AMP Energy Chevrolet, race side by side during the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Samsung 500 at Texas Motor Speedway on April 6, 2008 in Fort Worth, Texas.

Man, we can't get away from that damn annoying AFLAC duck...

(Photo by John Harrelson/Getty Images for NASCAR)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 4

WORST TO FIRST...Somehow, the Washington Capitals went from last and out of the NHL playoff marathon to first (and in the playoffs) with a win on the final night of the regular season.

Here, the Capitals' Sergei Fedorov, left, of Russia celebrates his goal with Matt Cooke (24) during the second period.

The NHL playoff start the moment One Shining Moment ends and finish just 12 minutes before the MLB All-Star Game. Only the NBA playoffs and Castro's presidency of Cuba last longer.

(AP Photo/Nick Wass)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 5

WHY DIDN’T WE THINK OF THIS…? A golf course at a vineyard.

Aron Price of Australia walks to the next tee from the 13th green during the final round of the 2008 Livermore Valley Wine Country Championship on April 06, 2008 at the Wente Vineyard in Livermore, California.

(Photo By Kent Horner/ Getty Images)

KANSAS 84, NORTH CAROLINA 66

SAN ANTONIO (AP) -What Roy Williams needed was a comeback for the ages. What he got was a disappointing dose of payback - a chance to see what it feels like when Kansas breaks his heart.

The Jayhawks left their old coach in the dust Saturday night, getting 25 points and seven rebounds from Brandon Rush to stave off a ferocious comeback by North Carolina for an 84-66 victory in the national semifinals.

Trailing 40-12 late in the first half, Tyler Hansbrough, Wayne Ellington and the Tar Heels made a valiant rally, getting to within five points with nine minutes left, but ran out of steam in their effort to pull off the biggest Final Four comeback ever.

"I've never been so embarrassed in my life," said Tar Heel guard Marcus Ginyard.

Now, the Jayhawks will play Memphis, an earlier 78-63 winner over UCLA, in Monday's title game.

Kansas moved within a win of its first national championship since 1988, the year before Williams began his storied 15-year tenure in Lawrence - one that ended when he jilted Kansas for his alma mater.

Hansbrough had 17 points and nine rebounds for North Carolina (36-3) - a typically gutsy effort - but his next move will be to decide whether to come back for his senior season.

Darnell Jackson #32 of the Kansas Jayhawks covers Wayne Ellington #22 of the North Carolina Tar Heels during the National Semifinal game of the NCAA Men's Final Four at the Alamodome on April 5, 2008 in San Antonio, Texas. The Jayhawks defeated the Tar Heels 84-66. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

MEMPHIS 78, UCLA 63

SAN ANTONIO (AP) -- As hard as it is to imagine, Memphis keeps getting better just when it matters the most.

The Tigers claimed their piece of history Saturday, beating UCLA 78-63 in the NCAA men's semifinals to become at 38-1 the winningest team ever in a single season. Now they have a chance to do what the other 37-win teams -- Duke, Illinois and UNLV -- couldn't do: cap it off with a national championship.

All season, this Memphis team from lightly regarded Conference USA played along with Calipari's us-against-the-world theme. Now, the Tigers need only one more victory for their first championship.

UCLA star Kevin Love put on his own show at practice Friday, hitting a full-court shot. He managed just 12 points -- and missed both open 3-pointers -- as the Bruins (35-4) again fell short in their third straight Final Four appearance.

Star freshman Derrick Rose wasn't content to merely make shots, he wanted to stamp this Final Four as his own with a series of show-stoppers that became an NBA audition.

Rose put up lefty floaters and righty scoops, often changing hands in mid-air, and threw one try over his shoulder. He was in perpetual motion -- once, he caught a pass in traffic, stutter-stepped just long enough to look his defender in the eye, and then sped past him for an easy but showy layup.

Rose finished with 25 points and nine rebounds and a bunch of eye-opening moves that won't show up in the final box.

He also hit 11 of 12 free throws. For a team supposedly vulnerable from the foul line, the Tigers did great in making 20 of 23.

(Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)

40 TO 12

That’s hard to overcome. Giving up an 18-0 run to a #1 seeded team in the National Semi-final in the first half, and another 13-0 in the second half is simply impossible to overcome.

The Jayhawks started the game shooting 16 of 24 (66%) and their ability to score easily kept the Tar Heels from jump starting their up-tempo transition game. Carolina looked slow and out of focus.

The Heels never recovered. Even though Billy Packer declared the game over with 7:32 left in the first half (a point which will further aggravate Carolina fans who are convinced Packer hates all things Heel), UNC pulled to within four in the second half. They were down but five when a Green three pointer rimmed out. In retrospect, that may have been the final blow for the Tar Heels.

The Jayhawks went on another 30 to 9 run to finish the game and waltz into the Final Monday night.

Ultimately, the Heels defense let them down. An Achilles of sorts all season, Carolina simply couldn’t generate the intensity they needed to slow down the high flying Jayhawks. The key to the transition game is making the other team miss and getting the rebound. Carolina owned the largest rebound differential in the country and that’s a big part of the formula that led to 37 wins.
In the first half, Kansas didn’t miss much and when they did miss, they out-rebounded the Heels. On the other hand, Kansas’ defense was as stingy as it’s been all year.

Part of this equation is Carolina’s lack of size. It’s easy to forget as their flying up and down the court that the starting lineup of Ginyard, Thompson and Hansbrough measures 6-5, 6-8 and 6-9. While Hansbrough is the largest, he’s not a defensive stalwart, and that’s not an accident.

While he would never be confused for Bill Russell, Hansbrough had 23 blocked shots as a freshman, but only 14 this season. We surmise that’s not a coincidence. Knowing how critical Hansbrough’s offense was to the Tar Heels success, we believe Ol’ Roy and boys taught him to play position defense and to stay out of foul trouble. The system works until the offense goes cold against a red hot Kansas team that many pick to win it all…

Lost in the shuffle of a great 37 win season that included regular season and ACC Tournament championships, was how different this team is from the squad that won in 2005. That team had FOUR first round NBA draft picks. This team has two – Hansbrough and Lawson. Ellington will be drafted if he leaves, but we don’t think he’s first round material…yet.

One of those four NBAers was a kid named Marvin Williams. Williams had “length” (the new overused buzz word for commentators and coaches alike) which simply means he was extremely athletic and played “bigger” than he actually was. Sound familiar?

Can you say Brendan Wright? Another front court player with length, the 6’9” Wright played like he was much bigger. He blocked 65 shots last year, and his defensive presence in the middle was sorely missed in 2008.

If everybody stays in Chapel Hill, which is unlikely at best, the Heels will need to cultivate a stronger inside presence to make it all the way to the 2009 championship game. It will have to come from Hansbrough, Thompson or Stepheson or new kid Tyler Zeller (6’10”, 215) who will need to bulk up a bit.

Finally, some folks will wonder why Williams didn’t use more timeouts during the 40 to 12 onslaught. Give Williams credit for a variety of things including consistency. That’s not what he does…Ol’ Roy lets ‘em play, and he saves his timeouts for end-half/game situations.

He doesn’t believe in stopping the game. He has said before that the players know exactly what is going on and exactly what they need to do, and stopping the game makes them question that and lose confidence.

Like most things Carolina blue, most nights that works.

But not last night.

(Photos by AP Photo/Mark Humphrey, Joe Murphy/NBAE via Getty Images, Streeter Lecka/Getty Images, and AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)

WHAT NEXT?

ESPN - SAN ANTONIO - North Carolina's season had just ended when the questions began about the futures of underclassmen Tyler Hansbrough, Wayne Ellington and Ty Lawson.

Hansbrough, who won several national player of the year awards this week, was in no mood to talk about entering the NBA draft instead of returning for his senior season Saturday night after the Tar Heels lost 84-66 to Kansas in the national semifinals.

"I'm not even thinking about that right now," said Hansbrough, his voice low and hushed in the locker room.

Ellington, a 6-foot-4 sophomore, and Lawson, a 5-11 sophomore, also said they hadn't thought about making the leap to the NBA. But Ellington did say he planned to talk about his options with his parents.

LSU: SORRY, YOU’RE DOOMED

Duke A.D. Joe Alleva most have some friends in high places in the low country.

Alleva is leaving Duke to become LSU's athletic director.

Alleva will replace Skip Bertman, who is retiring in June.

Evidently the folks at LSU haven’t noticed how horrifically bad the Blue Devils football program is, the decline of the hoops program or the debacle associated with how Alleva’s and his institution handled an imaginary sex scandal.

However, the 54-year-old Alleva has led Duke's 26 sports programs since 1998 and received a contract extension last year. Under his leadership, the Blue Devils teams won six national championships and 44 Atlantic Coast Conference titles.

He did recently hired David Cutcliffe as football coach. Most think that either 1) that’s a great hire or 2) Cutcliffe has completely lost his mind.

LSU practices for the NCAA Women's Final Four basketball game Saturday, April 5, 2008, in Tampa, Fla. LSU plays Tennessee in a national semifinal tonight. Based on hiring Alleva, they’ll lose for sure.(AP Photo/Amy Sancetta)

PICTURE OF THE DAY

THE ANTI-ROY CROWD PARTIES...Kansas basketball fans take to the streets of downtown Lawrence, Kan., Saturday, April 5, 2008. Kansas beat North Carolina in a semifinal game in the NCAA basketball tournament.

(AP Photo/Orlin Wagner)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 2

END OF THE ROAD...North Carolina head coach Roy Williams reaches for Surry Wood (24) in the locker room after they lost 84-66 to Kansas in the semifinals game at the college basketball Final Four Saturday, April 5, 2008, in San Antonio.

Wood and Quentin Thomas are the only seniors on the Tar Heels.

(AP Photo/Eric Gay)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 3

NO PLACE LIKE DOME...? Not really. The last time UNC played at the Alamodome they lost to underdog Utah.

Here Darrell Arthur #00 of the Kansas Jayhawks and Deon Thompson #21 of the North Carolina Tar Heels reach for the tip-off to start the first half during the National Semifinal.

(Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 4

A PICTURE…really is worth 1,000 words. Alfred Aboya #12 of the UCLA Bruins sits on the bench late in the second half against the Memphis Tigers during the National Semifinal game of the NCAA Men's Final Four at the Alamodome on April 5, 2008 in San Antonio, Texas.

(Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 5

ACC CONNECTIONS...Both head coaches enter the NCAA final as former assistants to Larry Brown who has both North Carolina and Kansas connections.

(Photos by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images and Jacobsohn/Getty Images)

JACK BAUER LOOKS UP TO TYLER HANSBROUGH

With props to StateFansNation and The Onion:

(Double click the picture and the captions are easier to read.)

The Final Four is almost here. Which means a lot of things…and this year it means that the world will have the ‘pleasure’ of watching the most amazing college basketball player in history!

With Rick Morrissey leading the charge in this fantastic article, we FINALLY have some other folks in the media willing to highlight some of the insanity around the world’s love affair with the previously unassailable Hopsandwalk.

Analysts for my network, CBS, portray Hansbrough as a crime-fighting special-forces soldier. He’s Batman Hansbrough. The only thing missing during some broadcasts of his games is the waving of the American flag and the singing of the Star Spangled Banner.

+ Tyler Hansbrough: He pulls cats out of trees.

+ Tyler Hansbrough defeated the Houston Rockets.

+ Tyler Hansbrough doesn’t do HGH. He is HGH.

+ Amy Winehouse is addicted to Tyler Hansbrough.

+ Brett Favre has a Tyler Hansbrough poster on his bedroom wall.

+ Tyler Hansbrough’s toenail clippings are for sale on the Chinese black market.

+ Superman wears Tyler Hansbrough pajamas.

We would like to add:

+ When someone asked Tyler Hansbrough if he was afraid of Kevin Love, he replied "What does 'afraid' mean?"
+ If Tyler Hansbrough had been a Spartan the movie would have been called "1".
+ On Tyler Hansbrough's Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire Tar Heel Nation as his dependents.
+ On the seventh day Tyler Hansbrough said, "I'll take it from here."
+ When life gave Tyler Hansbrough lemons, he used them to beat Duke. Tyler Hansbrough freaking hates lemonade.

HANSBROUGH: MORE HARDWARE

Tyler Hansbrough had a very busy Friday morning on the biggest weekend of his young basketball career.

The North Carolina junior forward was selected The Associated Press' college basketball player of the year, an honor that came less than an hour after he was presented the Oscar Robertson Trophy by the U.S. Basketball Writers Association as their player of the year.

The ceremonies were a couple of blocks apart, and the 6-foot-9 Hansbrough, his coach and parents made the short walk.

"I know people don't believe this stuff, but he's just a kid, a regular kid," Tar Heels coach Roy

Williams said when the group arrived for the AP's presentation. "We're walking over for him to get another player of the year award and practice for the Final Four is in less than an hour. I tell him that it's going to be close for him to change clothes and get ready when he just stopped and said 'What about eating?' He's doing all this and he's still just a kid, a great kid who happens to be a darn good basketball player."

Tyler Hansbrough #50 of the North Carolina Tar Heels shoots the ball during practice for the NCAA Men's Final Four at the Alamodome on April 4, 2008 in San Antonio, Texas. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

DUKE PLAYER WINS GAME

Duke's DeMarcus Nelson scored 21 points to help the National team beat the American team 106-100 in the National Association of Basketball Coaches college All-Star game Friday.

Nelson finished 6-for-12 from the field to go with five rebounds in 26 minutes to earn MVP honors. Xavier's Josh Duncan added 16 points off the bench for the National team, while Vanderbilt's Shan Foster had 15 points with four 3-pointers.

Houston's Robert McKiver had 20 points and five 3s to lead the American team, which shot 41 percent. Georgia's Sundiata Gaines added 18 points and eight rebounds.

(AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)

PSYCHO-T'S NEXT CAREER?

The boys over at Bruin Roar had a little fun photoshopping Tyler in a post called "Hansbrough After Basketball."

PICTURE(S) OF THE DAY

FLASHBACK 1957...This is the team that vanquished Kansas and Wilt Chamberlain in triple OT.

We couldn't find a ticket from 1957, but this one from 1959 was pretty cool.

PICTURE(S) OF THE DAY 2

FLASHBACK 1982...

(All photos courtesy of Tar Heel Times)

PICTURE(S) OF THE DAY 3

FLASHBACK 1993...

PICTURE(S) OF THE DAY 4

FLASHBACK 2005...We're glad we didn't have to clean up the mess.

PICTURE OF THE DAY 5

STYLIN…King Rice, Pete Chilcutt and Rick Fox.

(Photo courtesy of Tar Heel Times)

MEMPHIS POINT GUARD SUSPENDED

Backup point guard Andre Allen missed only two games the last three seasons for the Memphis Tigers. Now he might miss the two most important.

Allen was suspended for a violation coach John Calipari said he couldn’t reveal because of privacy rules. Allen did not travel to San Antonio for the Final Four, counting him out for the national semifinal against UCLA on Saturday and the title game Monday night should Memphis (37-1) get that far.

“Sometimes these guys do stupid things at inopportune times,” Calipari said. “He has.”

Rumor has it that Allen went to the gym following Memphis’ win over Texas and promptly made 100 free throws in a row. This incensed Calipari, who has been insisting all year that inconsistent free throw shooting would ever catch up to his high octane team.

“I really had no choice,” said Calipari, “I love the kid, but rules is rules, and we actually have a couple.”

Allen scored only one basket the last five games and averaged just 3.3 points, 2.1 assists and 1.2 rebounds over 14.1 minutes per game this season. So his absence is likely to affect intangibles more than Xs and Os.

(Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)

* items in italics may not be true. Take that, Mr. Duke Illustrated Blacklist Committee members!

UNC, UCLA AND KANSAS: NO SUSPENSIONS

Amazingly, some 36 hours before the most important college basketball game nobody from the Tar Heels, Bruins or Jayhawks did anything stupid enough to get them tossed off the squad.

This includes UNC’s three-time All-American, and (according to Wikipedia) Naismith Award winner Tyler Hansbrough who went to practice and played ping pong with injured point guard Bobby Frasor. Bruin superfrosh Kevin Love sat by the pool and listened to his uncle’s old band, The Beach Boys; and Kansas’ leading scorer Brandon Rush just hung around in Kansas doing…well…whatever it is they do out in Kansas.

(However, while the crack research staff at T.A.H. couldn’t turn up any chicanery/tom foolery by the other three Final Four participants, they did manage to find [to the delight of our Hokie friends] this picture of Kansas’ football coach Mark Mangino’s underwear.)

All three coaches agreed that the the lack of inappropriate behavior and/or comments that led to no suspensions would not be a distraction for any of the teams.

* items in italics may not be true. YEAH! Mr. Duke Illustrated Blacklist Committee members, how about them apples?!?!

BUCKEYES WIN NIT

Well, Ohio State can’t win the BCS Championship or the NCAA Division 1 Men’s Basketball National Championship, but they can beat UMass to win the NIT 92-85.

A year removed from a loss in the national championship game, the Buckeyes have a trophy to carry home—even if it’s not the one they had wanted.

Jamar Butler had 19 points and eight assists in his final college game, which culminated with the kind of raucous victory celebration inside Madison Square Garden that he couldn’t have last year in Atlanta.

The Buckeyes lost to Florida in the Final Four, and a snub by the NCAA selection committee kept them from playing for another trip there. They rebounded to dominate each of their four opponents on the way to New York, then had enough to withstand every UMass run.

“This is what happens when you put an NCAA tournament team in the NIT,” Butler yelled, surrounded by his teamates Thursday night. “Write that down and send that to the committee.”

Blah, blah, blah...

Ohio State's Kosta Koufos holds up the most outstanding player award after Ohio State beat Massachusetts 92-85 in the final of the NIT basketball tournament at Madison Square Garden in New York, Thursday, April 3, 2008. Koufos scored 23 points. (AP Photo/Henny Ray Abrams)

NATIONALS NO LONGER UNDEFEATED

Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

Jesus Colome walked Jayson Werth to force in Jimmy Rollins with the winning run in the bottom of the 10th inning, giving the Phillies an 8-7 victory over the Washington Nationals on Thursday.

Ouch.

Washington Nationals closing pitcher Jesus Colome walks off the field after walking in Philadelphia Phillies' Jimmy Rollins for the game-winning run in the 10th inning of a baseball game Thursday, April 3, 2008, in Philadelphia. (AP Photo/Tom Mihalek)

PICTURE(S) OF THE DAY

SO LONG...Kentucky basketball manager Bill Keightley, who was with the Wildcats for 48 seasons, died Monday in Cincinnati of internal bleeding caused by a previously undiagnosed tumor on his spine. He was 81.

Keightley's tenure reached back to the Adolph Rupp era and continued through Joe B. Hall, Eddie Sutton, Rick Pitino, Tubby Smith and current Kentucky coach Billy Gillispie.

Louisville coach, and former Kentucky coach Rick Pitino pauses while speaking at a memorial service.

The seat which was occupied for many years by former Kentucky basketball equipment manager Bill Keightley is adorned with a blue ribbon prior to a memorial service for him in Lexington, Ky., Thursday, April 3, 2008.

(AP Photos/Ed Reinke)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 2

THROW BACK...In honor of the old days when the newly arrived Brooklyn Dodgers played in the L.A. Coliseum, the Red Sox and Dodgers played an exhibition game there last week.

Note the short left field line (210 feet) and the 60 foot screen that serves to lengthen the field. Also of note is the fact that the odd configuration makes a left fielder a moot point, and allows the teams to use five infielders.

(Photo by Lisa Blumenfeld/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 3

AIR POLLUTION...? Remember how the incredibly trustworthy Chinese government promised to fix the air pollution problem in Beijing (solutions included exploding bombs in outer space to make it rain more!) before the start of the Summer Olympics in August?

They lied.

(Photo by China Photos/Getty Images)

(T.A.H. is now banned from China. Damn.)

PICTURE(S) OF THE DAY 4

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN BAHRAIN...When you get to the press conference and some dude hands you a falcon.

BMW Sauber Formula One driver Nick Heidfeld of Germany, left, gets the falcon Shaen from his owner Mahmood Al Wazzan on his arm. Heidfeld poses with this traditional falconeer after he arrived for the upcoming Formula One Grand Prix of Bahrain in Manama, Bahrain, Thursday, April 3, 2008.

Williams' Japanese driver Kazuki Nakajima drives at the Sakhir racetrack, on April 04, 2008 in Manama, during the first practice session of the Bahrain Formula One Grand Prix.

(Photos by AP Photo/Frank Augstein and Karim Jaafar/AFP/Getty Images)

PICTURE(S) OF THE DAY 5

HEY, IT'S BAD SOCCER UNI FRIDAY...You know the one thing we demand from our crack T.A.H. research staff is that they pour over every soccer photo everyday. That's no small task since there are about 9,000 soccer matches occurring at any given time all over the world AND in outer space.

Here's the result of all of this weeks' hard work...Cervantes of America's Mexico!

How about having BIMBO splashed across your giant banana-looking uni. And, while we're at it, why not compliment the Bimbo uni with some white shoes (boots, for you soccer fans).

All the action took place against River Plate´s Argentina during their Copa Libertadores tournament football match in Mexico City on April 02, 2008.

(Photos by Alfredo Estrella/AFP/Getty Images)

NO. 1 VS. NO 1

The folks at SI have pointed out that since the NCAA started seeding tournaments, five national title games have ended with a No. 1 facing a No. 1. This year will be No. 6 given that all four No. 1s advanced to the final weekend for the first time in tournament history. The ACC has been involved in five of the six No. 1 vs. No. 1 showdowns.

Let’s start with His Airness.

With a cast chock full of future NBA legends, the Tar Heels won their second NCAA title (Dean Smith's first) and handed Patrick Ewing and the Hoyas a heart-wrenching loss. Michael Jordan hit the game-winning jumper with just 17 seconds remaining.

Georgetown tried to get a shot off in the final second, but a botched play (the infamous Fred Brown errant pass) ultimately put James Worthy on the foul line with no timeouts remaining for the Hoyas. Worthy missed his shots, but the game was over.
(Check out the short shorts…)

Unfortunately for Chris Webber, this game would make him famous for all the wrong reasons. After an 8-0 run by the Tar Heels, Michigan climbed back within two with 20 seconds left.

Webber snagged a rebound, but was forced to take the ball upcourt as his ball handlers were already on the go. With UNC traps awaiting him, the confused Webber made the mistake he'll never forget: he called a timeout with zero remaining for the Wolverines. Technical foul. UNC wins.

What is frequently overlooked is the simple fact that the Heels were WINNING when this happened. It has been played up historically as if the Michigan were tied or winning when Webber’s gaff cost them the game. Not so.

Duke head coach Mike Krzybnm4ski considered his '99 squad one of the best ever. But they couldn't handle the theatrics of Richard "Rip" Hamilton, the Huskies' wiry forward who scored a game-high 27 points in UConn’s victory.

Finally, in just his second year as Tar Heels coach, Roy Williams (then touted as the best coach not to have won a National Championship) turned a losing team two years prior into national champions. The Illini rallied back from a 10-point deficit with nine minutes remaining, but they couldn't withstand the Heels persistence, or Sean May.

The UNC star scored 26 points and recorded 10 rebounds for Most Outstanding Player honors. Shortly thereafter, May and teammates Raymond Felton, Marvin Williams and Rashad McCants were scooped up in the NBA draft.

(Photos by David E. Klutho/Sports Illustrated, Heinz Kluetmeier/Sports Illustrated, AP, John W. McDounough/Sports Illustrated)

GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS

Andy Glockner over at ESPN has pointed out some intersting info:

UNC TRENDS OF NOTE

1) UNC finished first in the country in adjusted offensive efficiency. The past three national champs (Florida, Florida, UNC) finished either first or second in that category.

2) The Heels finished 121st in 2-point FG percentage defense, which is the worst mark of any team in the past five Final Fours.

3) Carolina has scored at least 1.2 points per possession in four of its past seven games, which is incredibly good in league tournament and NCAA tournament play (even with Mount St. Mary's thrown in).

Here's the whole story:
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/ncaatourney08/columns/story?columnist=glockner_andy&id=3322585

(Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)

WOODEN AWARD FINALISTS

D.J. Augustin of Texas, Michael Beasley of Kansas State, Stephen Curry of Davidson, Tyler Hansbrough of North Carolina and UCLA's Kevin Love are finalists for the John R. Wooden Award, given to college basketball's top player.

Those five were named to the Wooden All-America team announced Tuesday. Joining them are Memphis teammates Derrick Rose and Chris Douglas-Roberts, Brandon Rush of Kansas, Luke Harangody of Notre Dame and Tennessee's Chris Lofton, the only senior on the team.

Hansbrough, a junior, and Love, a freshman, will play in this weekend's Final Four in San Antonio, Texas.

Curry, a sophomore guard, was the nation's fourth-leading scorer at 25.9 points and helped Davidson to the Elite Eight as a No. 10 seed.

Augustin, a sophomore guard, helped Texas reach the final eight of the NCAA tournament. He averaged 19.2 points and 5.7 assists. Beasley, a freshman forward, averaged 26.2 points and was the nation's leading rebounder with 12.4 per game.

More than 1,000 national media and college basketball experts had until Monday to cast votes based on players' regular and postseason performances, character and academic performance.

The award will be presented April 11 in Los Angeles.

(AP Photo/Chris Carlson, File)

NATIONALS ARE STILL UNDEFEATED

Tim Redding took a one-hitter into the eighth inning and Ryan Zimmerman hit a solo homer to help the Washington Nationals stay unbeaten with a 1-0 victory over the Philadelphia Phillies on Wednesday night.

Redding allowed just a single by Pedro Feliz in the second inning and walked three batters in seven innings. He retired 14 straight batters after Feliz grounded a single to center. He walked Ryan Howard in the seventh and left after walking Geoff Jenkins to start the bottom of the eighth.

The Nationals are 3-0 for the first time since 2003, when they were the Montreal Expos.

Washington Nationals starting pitcher Tim Redding throws in the first inning of a baseball game with the Philadelphia Phillies, Wednesday, April 2, 2008, in Philadelphia. (AP Photo/Tom Mihalek)

NOT SO QUIET RIOT: BANG YOUR HEAD

A tennis tantrum by Russian Mikhail Youzhny left him bloodied but made him a YouTube celebrity.

Ain't America great?

When Youzhny hit a backhand into the net during his third-round match Monday at the Sony Ericsson Open, he angrily whacked himself in the head three times with his racket strings. The forehand to the forehead sent a thick stream of blood running from above his hairline down his nose nearly to his mouth.

He's just an excitable boy...

By Wednesday afternoon, video of the tantrum had drawn more than a half million hits on YouTube.

"I saw that," said James Blake, who lost in the quarterfinals Wednesday. "That was pretty funny -- not for Mikhail, I'm sure.

"Mardy Fish does that. He punches the strings and ends up bleeding on his knuckles. I did that as a kid and I kind of stopped doing that. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense."

The fact that the commentators do everything but call him a moron makes the clip.

(Photo by Hassan Ammar/AFP/Getty Images)

PICTURE(S) OF THE DAY

RAISE YOUR HAND...if you want a free ticket, a bus ride to the game, a free hotel room for two nights and you thought Davidson would be an Elite Eight team this year.

(Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images and John Biever/Sports Illustrated)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 2

“YEZ, I WILL SIGN ZEE GIANT TENNIS BALL…For I am a Francifier, and when I am finish, I will write zee limerick about doctor. OK, too, you make Florida Gator-man go away, he scares me little bit.”

Paul-Henri Mathieu of France signs autographs for fans during day eight of the Sony Ericsson Open at the Crandon Park Tennis Center in Key Biscayne, Florida.

(Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 3

ELVIS AND HIS SISTER ARE IN THE BUILDING...Elvis and his sister were on hand at the Elite Eight to root on Memphis. Will the King and his kin make it to San Antonio?

The guy in the tie-dye shirt on the phone is their agent.


(Photo by Thomas B. Shea/Icon SMI)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 4

FUTURE HILLTOPPER...A future member of Western Kentucky's basketball squad introduces himself to the world.

(Photo by John W. McDonough/Sports Illustrated)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 5

THE FASHION SENSE…of these two and coach Bruce Pearl explain exactly why Tennessee didn’t get past Louisville in the Sweet 16.

(Photo by Bob Rosato/Sports Illustrated)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 6

DOWN TO ONE...UNC is the only ACC school remaining in a post-season tournament.

North Carolina State's Khadijah Whittington, right, and Tia Bell head off the court following Michigan State's 58-57 win in a semifinal basketball game of the Women's NIT on Wednesday, April 2, 2008, in East Lansing, Mich. The Lady Wolfpack had previously beaten South Carolina, Florida and St. John’s.

(AP Photo/Al Goldis)

TAH BANNED FROM DUKE MESSAGE BOARD

NEWS FLASH: TAH has been “blacklisted” from Devils Illustrated and its message boards.

We typically throw up a post on various Rivals.com message boards to alert fans of the teams in question about important info that can be found on TAH.

Evidently, Devils Illustrated (the Duke rivals.com site) doesn’t have a very good sense of humor.
Here’s what they said:

The userid currently logged in has been blacklisted from this message board due to a violation of the board's basic rules. Please note that repeated violations of this board's rules have resulted in this blacklisting.

Examples of the rules are:

1. No profanity, racist or sexist comments. This includes using abbreviations or changing one letter of a swear word such that the word(s) are still interpreted by most as profane. (Now, the posts don’t include any profanity, but occasionally a TAH article might…that’s a reach DI, you gotta do better.)

2. No pornographic or obscene material of any kind. Any user posting pornographic pictures, or links to such material will be blacklisted. This includes materials within a signature file or avatar. (Not guilty, we don't even know what an avatar is.)

3. No attacking other posters. Examples of such attacks: Bringing up their name in posts that they did not start or were not involved in, just to get a reaction from them. Consistently responding to their posts and responding with no merit other than to belittle them. (Not guilty.)

4. Do not post unsubstantiated rumors about players, coaches, etc. (Oops…OK, we do this ALL the time, but it’s satire…don’t’ they get it? Evidently, not.)

5. No repetitive negative posting. (To borrow from one of our favorite rapscallions, Bill Clinton, it depends of what the definition of 'repetitive' is [all the time? Guilty.] and 'negative' is [again, see above: satire.] Didn't they think the DUKE “UNOFFICIAL OFFICIAL” INJURY REPORT http://www.todaysaccheadlines.com/2008/02/duke-unofficial-official-injury-report.html was funny? Who didn't think that was funny? OK, maybe Chainsaw and Grande Vino didn’t, but everybody else did including about 1,500 folks from UNC rivals.com site CarolinaBlue.com…who, by the way, haven’t blacklisted TAH.)

6. No flaming: If a poster come onto the board with the intent only to flame, and continues to post nothing but flames or engages in no substantive discussion, the poster's posts will be deleted and the poster will be banned at the monitor's discretion. (TAH, flame? RIDICULOUS…What is wrong with these people? Didn’t they read the DUKE “UNOFFICIAL OFFICIAL” INJURY REPORT http://www.todaysaccheadlines.com/2008/02/duke-unofficial-official-injury-report.html)

7. No attacks on players or coaches. Personal attacks and insults, as opposed to criticism of gameplay will not be tolerated. (We don’t think poking fun at coaches and players qualifies as “attacks.” If Devils Illustrated does then they are both thin skinned and 100% wrong. There, that ought to get us tossed permanently.)

8. No attacking recruits: Just because a player may choose another school does not give you the right to blast them, in any circumstance. There will be zero tolerance on this issue. (One word: STUPID. Hey recruits, try avoiding this one word: ARRESTED. See below.)

9. No posting of commercial offers, competing websites or spamming of the board will be permitted. (We like to call it building readership…tomato, tomahto…)

10. No posting or distribution any material that infringes and/or violates any right of a third party or any law. Post will be deleted and member can be banned at the monitors discretion. This means no posting of premium information from other web sites. (Well at least they think our stuff is “premium,” so all is not lost.)

Duke Illustrated, you complete us.

Thanks so much.

HANSBROUGH WINS 2008 NAISMITH AWARD?

According to Wikipedia and a number of blogs, Tyler Hansbrough has won the 2008 Naismith Award.

Maybe Psycho-T’s mom has done a little editing. The everyone-can-edit web site encyclopedia has already listed Ty-Brough as the winner of the National Player of the Year Award for 2008.

We think they jumped the gun just a little…

(Mind you he SHOULD win the Naismith Award- See THE TALE OF TWO SHOTS - http://www.todaysaccheadlines.com/2008/03/tale-of-two-shots.html)

In reality, first-year players Michael Beasley of Kansas State and Kevin Love of UCLA were named finalists for the Naismith Men's College Player of the Year Award on Sunday. They were joined by juniors Chris Douglas-Roberts of Memphis and Tyler Hansbrough of North Carolina.

Atlanta Tipoff Club's Board of Selectors -- a group of basketball journalists, coaches and administrators -- narrowed the group from 30 down to four.

The winner will be named during halftime of the national championship game on April 7.

Somebody tell Wikipedia.

DUKE’S KING TO TRANSFER

No, not head coach Mike Krzyxcfgzw2ski who many think is the King of Duke, but Taylor King the once heralded freshman whose playing time decreased as the importance of the game increased. That could have had something to do with King’s penchant for putting up a shot EVERY time he touched the ball.

King has decided to leave Duke, University officials announced in a statement Monday.King, a 6-foot-6 forward from Huntington Beach, Calif., logged minutes in each of Duke's 34 games this season and ranks eighth in the Blue Devil freshman record book for 3-pointers made with 43. He finished the season having averaged 5.9 points and two rebounds per contest.

"Taylor is a solid young man and has the ability to be a good player," head coach Mike Krzyzewski said.

Ouch..."the ability to be a good player." Nice parting shot! (Oops, that'll get us blacklisted...again.)

A source close to the team confirmed that King did not show up to team workouts Monday, and that the scout.com five-star recruit intends to explore the option of transferring to either Villanova or Gonzaga-two programs that had offered King scholarships when he originally was recruited in 2006.

Although King posted six double-figure efforts in games before Jan. 9-including a 27-point output against Eastern Kentucky and 15-point performances against Temple and Big Ten champion Wisconsin-his minutes and production declined sharply in February and March.

(AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

CRIMINAL FOREST: PUT A FILE IN THE CAKE, WAKE

According to the THE SPORTS POINT: Norcross (GA) High School basketball standout Al-Farouq Aminu and his two teammates are out of jail on bond after being arrested on charges of shooting a woman with a BB gun. The Parade and McDonald's All-American turned himself in to the Gwinnett County Sheriff's office on Friday.

The victim, 34-year-old Rebecca Baltich, was shot while unloading her car in the driveway. Her husband chased the young men for nearly five miles but backed off after they ran a number of traffic lights and stop signs. Police made a connection to the students when the vehicle was seen parked in the Norcross High parking lot.

Apparently the husband doesn't have any hard feelings over the incident. Along with recommending the prosecutors go easy on young men, Branden Baltich had this to say.

"I'll tell you, his shooting at my house was much better than his shooting at the McDonald's game."

Aminu didn't score a point in the all-star game, but signed a scholarship to play at Wake Forest after leading his school three consecutive state titles. Demon Deacons head coach Dino Gaudio said the school would not comment on the incident until more information was available.

MORE DUKE CHRONICLE CRITICISM OF COACH K

…for real.

Those chippy sports reporters/editors at the Duke Chronicle are at it again:

R.I.P. BLUE DEVILS BASKETBALL DOMINANCE
By: Tom Segal, Posted: 3/28/08

My first two years at Duke were a disappointment to say the least. Early exits from the Big Dance certainly cut me deep, but the fact that neither one surprised me somehow cut me deeper…

(After blaming a bunch of stuff on Brian Zoubek, whom Segal called "piece of dog poop” wondering why he can’t move his feet on defense when they are constantly moving on offense, and torching the soon-to-be departed King, he takes on K.)

The person to blame is... oooh boy this is hard to say... Mike Krzyzewski (covering my head for fear of lightning bolts striking me). We had a great opportunity this year. We had a great team. We were one game from being the top-ranked team in the country, and it all fell apart. All those high school All-Americans, all that talent, and we weren't even the top private school in North Carolina (that'd be Davidson).

That blame has to be placed on the man in charge.

And this is what our basketball program has come to: me, a Blue Devil for life, publicly skewering a man I've idolized since my youth.

I will now go cry myself to sleep. Hide the whiskey.

Here’s the whole story, it’s worth the read. http://media.www.dukechronicle.com/media/storage/paper884/news/2008/03/28/Columns/R.i-p.Blue.Devils.Basketball.Dominance-3289741.shtml

PICTURE OF THE DAY

THANKS AGAIN FOR THE MADNESS…"Hey, I’m going that way…Think you can stop me?"

Probably not.

Stephen Curry #30 of the Davidson Wildcats directs the offense against the Kansas Jayhawks during the Midwest Regional Final.

(Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

NICE REHAB…Yao Ming of the Houston Rockets shoots baskets after he works out and rehabs his foot on April 1, 2008 at his home in Houston, Texas.

(Photo by Bill Baptist/NBAE via Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 3

WHEN DOES THE FIGHT BREAKOUT…? Jamie Langenbrunner #15 of the New Jersey Devils warms up before playing against the New York Islanders on April 1, 2008 at Nassau Coliseum in Uniondale, New York.

Approximately four minutes after this lovely photo was taken which perfectly depicts the beauty, skill, speed and athleticism that is supposed to be hockey in the NHL, a gigantic glove-dropping brawl broke out to the delight of the league office and hockey fans everywhere.

(Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 4

BUMMED...and this time Don Imus had nothing to do with it.

Rutgers forward Heather Zurich cries in the locker room after Connecticut beat Rutgers 66-56 in the NCAA women's basketball tournament Greensboro Regional final Tuesday, April 1, 2008, in Greensboro, N.C.




Stanford, UConn, Tennessee and LSU make up the Final Four.





(AP Photo/Sara D. Davis)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 5

ADIOS AMIGOS...UCLA's Kevin Love, center, looks to shoot in between Stanford's twin brothers Brook Lopez, left, and Robin Lopez in this file photo in the championship game in the Pac-10 Conference at the Staples Center in L.A.

The 7-foot Lopez twins are turning pro. The brothers made their announcement exclusively to The Associated Press Monday March 31, 2008, through their mother, Deborah Ledford.

(AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian, File)

KRZYZEWSKI RESIGNS

After 28 (well 27, if you don’t count 1994-95) years at the helm of one of America’s elite collegiate basketball programs and over 800 wins, Duke University head coach Mike Krzyzewski will announce at a press conference today that he is resigning his post.

Krzyzewski, in a prepared statement, said he is looking forward to spending more time with his wife and pursuing their shared passion for screaming “traveling” every time the University of North Carolina’s three-time All-American and ACC Player of the Year Tyler Hansbrough touches the ball. In addition, he has grown weary of subpar performances by his players in the ACC and NCAA tournaments, and the criticism he now receives from “wet behind the ear kids writing for the Duke Chronicle” and "stupid bloggers" acting like journalists with some knowledge of the game of basketball. (Hey, who's he callin' "stupid?")

Krzyzewski also said he had grown weary of the conspiracy being orchestrated by NBA head coaches and General Managers designed to keep former Blue Devils from succeeding at the next level. “It’s all about diminishing my accomplishments as a leader and corporate salesperson,” Krzyzewski said.

The fact that Duke’s only future star, Taylor King, announced yesterday that he is transferring (no kidding) may have been the last straw for the beleaguered coach who is known for his spicy vocabulary. Noting a similar move by Josh (Irish Julia) McRoberts who ran from Durham straight to the NBA D-League last year, Krzyzewski said, “Damn bunch of (bleep) (bleep) quitters, I’m (bleeping) done with all there(bleeping) sorry (bleeping) (bleeps).”

Athletic Director Joe Aleva, the winner of the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize for his brilliant handling of the Duke Lacrosse fiasco, has appointed a search committee to find a replacement for the Blue Devils’ Hall of Fame Coach. Both ESPN analysts Dick (Dookie V) Vitale and Robert Montgomery Knight will serve on the search committee. Currently, Vitale, who immediately proclaimed himself Interim Team Spokesperson upon hearing the tragic news, told the media that Knight is the leading candidate to replace Krzyzewski.

(Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images and Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)

OL’ ROY SAYS A BAD WORD

CBS and ESPN will announce at a news conference today that they are abandoning what was sure to be an overdone story line: The Ol’ Roy vs. Kansas saga.

“It’s been over five years now since Roy cut and run on the Jayhawks,” said Sean McManus, the president of CBS Sports. “So, we figure it’s only the Kansas fans who really give a crap.”

“After all, the North Carolina fans and players don’t care what happened in 2003, and most of the Kansas players were freshmen and sophomores in high school when it all went down, so we don’t think it’s an important story anymore,” said ESPN President George Bodenheimer.

The networks were on the fence about whether to deveote 312 hours or just 285 hours of coverage to the “Ol’ Roy deserts Kansas” story, but they decided to call the whole thing off after a brief interview with Ol’ Roy after the Heels whipped Louisville Saturday night.

When asked by a reporter if he wanted Kansas to knock off Cinderella Davidson to set up a Tar Heel v. Jayhawks semi-final in San Antonio, Ol’ Roy said, “Roy doesn't give a crap about Kansas.”

When pressed on the issue yet again, the genial North Carolina head coach actually said, “I don’t give a s#&% about Kansas.”

Evidently, Ol' Roy was so fired up he forgot to refer to his very own self in the third person. For heaven's sake, what next?

(AP Photos/Gerry Broome and Chuck Burton)

CLEMSON MAKES 7,635 STRAIGHT FREE THROWS

The Clemson Tigers men’s basketball team which was recently eliminated by Villanova from the 2008 NCAA Basketball Tournament, rallied together yesterday to sink 7,635 straight free throws for charity.

The shots were worth $1 each during the “Save The Endangered Bengal Tigers And Tibetan Political Dissidents Rally ‘08” in Brickshot, South Carolina. The Tigers are not generally known for their proficiency from the charity stripe and attributed the sudden accuracy to the “fear of China.”

Coach Oliver Purnell could not be reached for comment.

(Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

DUKE RECRUITS FLOOR-SLAPPER

Still reeling from a second round NCAA Tournament exit, the transfer of budding young superstar Taylor King followed by the shocking and sudden departure of their leader, head coach Mike Krzyzewski, the Duke basketball program received a much-needed piece of good news today when the nation’s premier high school floor-slapper announced his decision to play in Durham next winter.

Bradley Grayson, out of Marshall High School in Spokane, Wash., led the nation in floor-slaps this season with an eye-popping 38.2 per game.

“I’ve seen some great floor-slappers in my day,” said Interim Duke Spokesperson Dick Vitale, “But this kid is the best. His faux intensity is amazing. JUST AMAZING, BABY!”

Dickie V’s excitement is not unfounded. Scouting services rave about Grayson’s floor-slapping.

“You can literally feel the floor shake when Grayson slaps it.” – Scout.com

“Dust the floor for prints after any game – you’ll find his hand prints on 95-percent of it.” – Rivals.com

With Duke searching for answers as to why the once-feared program has become a rather easy out each March, Grayson’s commitment comes just in time.

“You know, they really need to get back to how Duke basketball was a decade ago, baby” said the Interim Spokesperson Vitale. “Greg Paulus went from diaper dandy to flopper and complainer just like every other great point guard they have had here, but Duke just doesn’t have a player who slaps the floor the way Steve Wojciechowski or Bobby Hurley did when they were prime time. Those guys would come in after games with their palms bleeding. If that’s not the mark of good defense as taugh by a legendary Hall of Fame coach, I don’t know what is.”

Current college basketball analyst Hubert Davis, who played 12 years in the NBA and is a 1992 University of North Carolina graduate, says he agrees a dearth of floor-slappers is indeed Duke’s biggest problem.

“People laugh at it, but that’s the point,” said Davis. “You’re dribbling down the court, and all of a sudden, some toolbag starts slapping the floor in front of you. You start laughing at him. It gets you off your game. You almost feel bad for the pathetic little guy. And that gives them an advantage.”

Grayson says he hopes to come in and make an immediate impact.

“I’m just going to keep working on my floor slaps,” he said. “And Coach K has sent me some tapes to watch on how to flop. Basically, it’s just if my man gets within six inches of me, I hurtle backwards through the air like I’ve stepped on a land mine. Beyond that, I’m just staying out of the sun as much as possible. Got to keep that melanin down, you know.”

“He quit, Coach K quit? Nobody told me that.”

(Props to SportsPickle.com for the story. Yes, TAH modified it slightly...OK, a lot.)

HEADS UP: FSU HOT ON THE RECRUITING TRAIL

Key words being “hot” and “trail.”

Determined to regain their rightful place (according to them) at the top of the ACC football pecking order, the Florida State Seminoles have really been beating the Florida bushes this recruiting season. Long known as a hotbed of football talent, the Noles have dug deep to find some amazing talent hidden deep down in the Sunshine State.

“Daddgummit, we’ve left no dad burn stone uncovered,” said Bobby Bowden. “In fact, by golly, we’ve looked in sum places we ain’t never, ever looked before…for some pretty doggone good reasons, I might add.”

Two prize recruits who still miraculously have four full years of NCAA eligibility remaining are a father-son team destined to be starting linebackers next fall in Tallahassee. Yep, check out the Beebees. According to TheSmokingGun.com:

“Father Floyd, 48, and his son Justin, 21, were arrested last year (on different dates) in central Florida. As you can tell from the mug shots, the Bebees are forehead tattoo enthusiasts…In a TSG interview, Floyd Bebee, a father of eight, said that he has a tattoo on the back of his head reading "Got-R-Did." The ink on his forehead cost $125 and took about 45 minutes to complete, Bebee said, adding that he was the family trendsetter when it came to such head art.

Bebee, who does odd jobs like home remodeling and demolition, said that his wife had a succinct response to his forehead ink: "You crazy," she said. Bebee noted that since his son's eyes are open in his mug shot, the photo does not reveal a hidden surprise: Justin has the words "F***" and "You" tattooed on his eyelids.”

“Now, you tell me dem boys ain’t some dad burn ballers?” quipped Bowden.

Florida State also picked up a few other prized recruits form their newly developed “farm system.”

Next year, starting at tight end, the Noles hope to feature James Hulsey. Hulsey has been in and out of jail in Alabama and he is well known locally for his tattoo that makes him resemble “a denied mortgage application.” “He’s got great speed and blocking technique,” said FSU offensive wiz Chuck Amato. “That boy sees a flashing light and he moves like a shot out of a gun. Not sure why.”

At strong safety, Florida State hopes to sneak Adolph “Hitler” Krogerinski into the starting lineup. When we say sneak, we mean that literally since Krogerinski is a white supremacist who probably won’t fit in terribly well with the rest of the squad.

“Yeah, he’s a kook…a full blown kook,” said Daddgum-Coach-In-Waiting Jimbo Fisher, “but we need somebody back there who’s passionate about tackling the other teams’ wide outs and running backs. I think Adolph is our kook…I mean..er..guy.”

For more potential recruits at FSU, Maimi, Virginia Tech, Virginia, Maryland, Clemson, North Carolina, North Carolina State, Wake Forest, Boston College and Georgia Tech go to:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1207071mugs1.html

THE NATS ARE UNDEFEATED

Really…no kidding. No, it’s not an April Fools’ joke, they’re undefeated. That’s more than the Red Sox can say…

Our beloved Washington Nationals took their late-inning act on the road. Nick Johnson's tiebreaking RBI double off Tom Gordon highlighted a five-run ninth inning and the Nationals beat the Philadelphia Phillies 11-6 Monday.

On Sunday night, Ryan Zimmerman's solo homer with two outs in the bottom of the ninth gave Washington a 3-2 victory over Atlanta in the debut of its $611 million Nationals Park.

No doubt, there was some celebrating on the bus ride to Philly. The Nationals arrived after 2 a.m., but weren't too tired to spoil the Phillies' opening-day party.

Lastings Milledge #44 of the Washington Nationals scores the winning run off of Nick Johnson double while Carlos Ruiz #51 of the Philadelphia Phillies dives for the plate on Opening Day at Citizens Bank Park March 31, 2008 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Drew Hallowell/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY

FAMILIAR FACES...Tar Heels David Noel, Wes Miller and Sean May from the 2005 NCAA Division 1 Men's Basketball National Champions, the University of North Carolina Tar Heels, attend the Elite Eight regional championship game in Charlotte on Saturday night.

(Photo by Zeke Smith/CB)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 2

BASEBALL OPENING = FLYOVERS...City of Escondido fire captain Eric Souza stands before singing the national anthem beneath helicopters that fly over during Opening Day ceremonies for the game betweenthe Houston Astros and the San Diego Padres on March 31, 2008 at Petco Park in San Diego, California.

(Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 3

DOWN GOES ACC...Maryland's Laura Harper (15) puts her arms up as Stanford's Candice Wiggins reacts as their game ends Monday, March 31, 2008, in Spokane, Wash., in the finals of the NCAA Spokane Regional women's basketball tournament.

Stanford won 98-87.

(AP Photo/Elaine Thompson)

PICTURE(S) OF THE DAY 4

DOWN GOES ACC, PART 2...North Carolina guard Meghan Austin, right, and teammates watch, or look away from, the closing seconds of the final of the New Orleans Regional of the NCAA women's basketball tournament in New Orleans, Monday, March 31, 2008.

LSU defeated North Carolina 56-50.

(AP Photo)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 5

TAR HEEL RACING TEAM...? Looking for still more ways to defeat arch rival Duke, UNC has started a Grand Prix team. Scott Pruett and Memo Rojas drivers of the #01 Telmex Chip Ganassi with Felix Sabates Racing Lexus Riley celebrate with their team after winning the Rolex Grand-Am Rolex Sports Car Series GAINSCO Grand Prix of Miami on March 29, 2008 at the Homestead-Miami Speedway.

(Photo by Robert Laberge/Getty Images)