Wednesday, November 19, 2008

NEWS FLASH: CUDPEPPA ACCUSED OF TAMPERING

Rumors are now floating around the flogging blogging community that things might have been slightly amiss down at Cudpeppa Country Club (winner of the Golf Digest 2008 Hardest, Most Difficult and Most Challenging Golf Course in the Whole Entire History of the World, Bar None Award) where Hacks v. Hicks III was contested this past Sunday.

Not long after the Cudpeppa squad and booked yet another easy win of approximately 16 to 5, rumors surfaced about tampering with Hackberry Creek’s El Capitan Tom “Oh-Fer” Blaser.

Seems as Blaze had been complaining recently about morning headaches even on the mornings when he hadn’t consumed any adult malt-beverages the evening before. (OK, there was only one such evening, but he had a headache that day too, so as far as TAH is concerned, that’s a valid “field test.”)

When interrogated (Blaze is not one to openly complain, so his boys had to ply him with “truth serum” to get the story out), Captain O’Hacks revealed that he recently had been having a reoccurring nightmare where he is abducted by aliens who tampered with his brain. Oddly enough, said “aliens” were dressed as employees of the United States Postal Service with Cudpeppa County stickers prominently displayed on the windshields of their UFOs. Thankfully for Blaze, no orifices were probed.

A recent x-ray taken at Fauquier Health’s new Emergency Department (formerly the Fauquier Hospital’s Emergency Room) seems to reveal that some tampering has actually occurred.

The investigation is ongoing.

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