Monday, November 17, 2008

HICKS THROTTLE HACKS (AGAIN)

It was cold and windy for Hacks v. Hicks III. While the weather didn’t seem to deter the Cudpeppa Country Club squad, the 300 mph wins, and the alternative fuels required to keep warm on such a foul day, had a devastating impact on an already demoralized and untalented squad from Hackberry Creek.

Yesterday, the Hicks pulled out all the stops including the extra intense sun and wind that caused certain players faces to be unusually red following the match (see Captain’s photo left) and whipped the Hacks, yet again, 15-6 (unofficial score). The official scorecard could not be located following post-tournament revelry.

Following yesterday’s now seemingly eventual and annual loss by the Hackberry Creek Boys, Far-queer Captain Tom “Closed Out By 16” Blaser cancelled his post-match press conference (the bar closed) and instead released a written statement to TAH:

“Well they were who they thought they were.

I thought J.R. and Burke settled down and played good old fashioned Hackberry golf but the rest of us puked on our shoes and let’em off the hook!

You can’t do that against a quality squad like Cudpeppa! I mean guys like Captain Fakeheart and
Eddie the Postman will eat your lunch if your game isn’t rock solid!

Now a lot of the liberal press want to blame this on John Clark for not showing up, but blame me!

I’M A MAN!! I mean Clark is just a 30 something kid who has done everything we’ve asked him
(except show up) I’M A 51 YEAR OLD MAN! Blame me! I’M A MAN!!”
(Photos by TAH International)

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