Thursday, October 30, 2008

AND THEN DEPRESSION SET IN…

Just when it looked like Al Groh had cemented his stay in C’ville with four straight wins since a horrific loss to Duke, things actually got worse.

Word is out that Miller-Coors has discontinued sales of the malt beverage known as Zima.

Oh, the humanity!

Here’s what Dick Maynard at the Grand Junction Colorado Sentinel had to say:

“Zima — it means “winter” in Russian — was supposedly brought to market in 1993 as an alternative for those who couldn’t stand the taste of beer. Unfortunately, by the time Zima was in full scale production, the under-25 male population had returned to beer as its frothy libation of choice, while lady friends cast their votes for Smirnoff Ice.

Of late, Zima and its ilk, collectively known as alco-pops, are marketed, almost exclusively, to the female half of the population. I profess no real “foo-foo” drink knowledge. An occasional Mike’s Hard Lemonade quenches a hot summer day thirst, but mojitos in a bottle have a “so this is what charcoal starter tastes like” quality best described as a crime against humanity.

While most imbibers found Zima’s taste somewhere between “you’ve got to be kidding” and “yuck,” the brand’s advertising was even worse. Remember, “Zima is Zomething different. Zo have one today.” In response to Zima TV ads continually substituting the letter ‘S” with a “Z,” shirts imprinted with the words “Zima Zucks” became a big seller.”

Don’t panic though, there is still enough inventory to last through December.

Somewhere, zillions of Hokies and Colin Cow-turd are laughing.

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