Thursday, September 25, 2008

THE LAST TIME DUKE WON…

…an ACC regular season conference game, Russell Tyrone Jones was still alive.

(Hey, Russell! – sorry, inside joke.)

You might know Mr. Jones by his show biz moniker – Ol’ Dirty Bastard. Jones, or Bastard if you wish, was one of the founding members of Wu-Tang Clan.

Jones/Bastard simultaneously brought a measure of humor and a touch of the absurd to the group. He was noted for his unusual microphone techniques and his erratic personal behavior which included incarceration for a variety of crimes*. He died in late 2004 of congestive heart failure as a result of an accidental drug overdose only two days before his 36th birthday.

Now there are those folks out there who think Duke can beat the Wahoos this weekend. They make this assertion based on their claim that Duke has a better, more sober, less stoned, quarterback than the Hoos.

Time will tell.

Somewhere up, or down, there (depending on your perspective), ODB is pulling for Duke.

*ODB’s crime log:
1993 - second degree
assault for an attempted robbery.
1997 – failure to pay child support for three of his THIRTEEN children.
1998 – attempted assault on wife, victim of robbery at girlfriend (not wife’s) house.
1998 – arrested for shoplifting $50 pair of shoes from a FootLocker in VA Beach. He was carrying $500 cash at the time.
1998 – arrested for “criminal threatening” after a series of “drunken confrontations.”
1998 – arrested for attempted murder and weapon possession.
1999 – arrested for driving without a license and for “being a convicted felon wearing a bullet proof vest (the first person arrested for this infraction under a new…drum roll please…California law…duh.)”
1999 – arrested for drug possession (crack).
1999 – in a spoken word song, Chris Rock defended ODB saying he “could’nt’ve possibly committed all those crimes. Coolio did some of that s%&#!
2000 – escaped from court-mandated rehab facility.
2002 – arrested in South Philadelphia for what appears to be “being in South Philadelphia” when he was supposed to be “in jail.”
2002 – officially tried to commit suicide, which is not to be confused with his many “unofficial” suicide attempts (see above).
2003 – released from prison where he was reportedly picked up by long-time friend (and poor judge of character and clothes) Mariah Carey.
UNKNOWN DATE – some crazy (old and perhaps dirty) bastard tattooed ODB on his foot (before he was trapped in a freezer and forced to eat same.)

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