Wednesday, August 6, 2008


Randolph Macon College (Yellow Jackets, 1,146 students, Ashland, VA) has been invited to join the ACC according to ACC Commish John Swofford. The invitation comes fast on the Princeton Review releasing it’s rankings of the top party schools in the nation and lil’ ol “Randy Mac” (as it’s known to its friends) pulling down a rock solid #9 amongst the likes of Florida, West Virginia and Texas. The only other ACC school to crack the top 20 -- the scantily clad Seminoles of FSU (#10).

“We would welcome Randolph Macon to the fold based simply on their affinity for bong hits and watching ‘Harold and Kumar’ reruns,” said Swofford, “but, ultimately, we were really impressed by the volume of binge drinking, licentiousness, and overall torpor generated by such a small school with just nine fraternities and two sororities.”

While a recent press report noted, “But the truth is, pretty much every school you go to (at least in the U.S.) is going to offer evenings in cramped frat houses with kegs of beer, people making out in hallways and toilets full of unflushed vomit. Even MIT -- which is, of course, notorious for its nerdiness -- is known for having killer parties,” it is well known that the ACC seeks to dominate all categories of the college experience.

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