Saturday, August 30, 2008

MR. HINKMAN HAS TOUGH WEEK

Has Republican presidential candidate John McCain gone completely crazy?

Well…maybe.

Just two days ago, the 187-year-old Senator from a state with four electoral votes dumped our main man Gary “Mr. HinkmanHicklin (from the critically important state of Virginia which boasts 3,254 electoral votes) as his V.P. running mate and picked up some rookie Governor from another politically (and for the most part, geographically) insignificant state -- Alaska (1 electoral vote, 9,054 people and 4,789,520 moose.).

TAH’s political analysts far and wide (we have a whole stable of ‘em parked on bar stools across this great country!) were dumbfounded with his choice of Sarah Palin. McCain’s choice of an woman (no matter how inexperienced or conservative) was clearly intended to lure Hilary Clinton supporters over to the ticket at the expense of moderate Republicans.

In doing so, McCain took some of the teeth out of his knock on Democratic nominee, Barack Obama, who McCain has consistently said lacks the experience necessary to be the leader of the free world.

Hmmm

If anything happens to the McCain, President Palin brings to the table two WHOLE years as the Governor of Alaska…ALASKA (see moose at right), for crying out loud! It’s not even a real state.

It’s a scant 53 frozen miles of Bering Strait from being in Russia. If it didn’t have all those natural resources that the tree huggers won’t let us pillage, we would have never invited them into our little democracy to start with…Jeez.

But we digress. You want experience? We give you experience. Instead of Mr. Hinkman, a world-class American and proven leader of both men and women, Mr. McCain gives us a bachelor of science degree in communications-journalism from the University of Idaho. Again, not a real state. No potatoes, no statehood. (There's a pattern here.)

Her past occupations included being a “commercial fishing company owner, outdoor recreational equipment company owner and sports reporter.” This got her all warmed up and ready for public service as a town council member and ultimately MAYOR of Wasilla, Alaska – population 6,500!

(For you local folks, that number should sound familiar. It’s very similar to the population of our very own Warrenton, VA, the home of TAH.)

Sorry, Mr. Hinkman, SORRY!

You wuz robbed.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: The above story is parody. It's comedy. It is meant to be funny. It is not meant to offend anybody from Alaska or Idaho. We love both state's. They're both cool. So don't bombard us with indignant emails. Just hang around a day or two and we will make fun of somebody else. Promise.)

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