Tuesday, April 1, 2008


CBS and ESPN will announce at a news conference today that they are abandoning what was sure to be an overdone story line: The Ol’ Roy vs. Kansas saga.

“It’s been over five years now since Roy cut and run on the Jayhawks,” said Sean McManus, the president of CBS Sports. “So, we figure it’s only the Kansas fans who really give a crap.”

“After all, the North Carolina fans and players don’t care what happened in 2003, and most of the Kansas players were freshmen and sophomores in high school when it all went down, so we don’t think it’s an important story anymore,” said ESPN President George Bodenheimer.

The networks were on the fence about whether to deveote 312 hours or just 285 hours of coverage to the “Ol’ Roy deserts Kansas” story, but they decided to call the whole thing off after a brief interview with Ol’ Roy after the Heels whipped Louisville Saturday night.

When asked by a reporter if he wanted Kansas to knock off Cinderella Davidson to set up a Tar Heel v. Jayhawks semi-final in San Antonio, Ol’ Roy said, “Roy doesn't give a crap about Kansas.”

When pressed on the issue yet again, the genial North Carolina head coach actually said, “I don’t give a s#&% about Kansas.”

Evidently, Ol' Roy was so fired up he forgot to refer to his very own self in the third person. For heaven's sake, what next?

(AP Photos/Gerry Broome and Chuck Burton)

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