Saturday, April 5, 2008

JACK BAUER LOOKS UP TO TYLER HANSBROUGH


With props to StateFansNation and The Onion:

(Double click the picture and the captions are easier to read.)

The Final Four is almost here. Which means a lot of things…and this year it means that the world will have the ‘pleasure’ of watching the most amazing college basketball player in history!

With Rick Morrissey leading the charge in this fantastic article, we FINALLY have some other folks in the media willing to highlight some of the insanity around the world’s love affair with the previously unassailable Hopsandwalk.

Analysts for my network, CBS, portray Hansbrough as a crime-fighting special-forces soldier. He’s Batman Hansbrough. The only thing missing during some broadcasts of his games is the waving of the American flag and the singing of the Star Spangled Banner.

+ Tyler Hansbrough: He pulls cats out of trees.
+ Tyler Hansbrough defeated the Houston Rockets.
+ Tyler Hansbrough doesn’t do HGH. He is HGH.
+ Amy Winehouse is addicted to Tyler Hansbrough.
+ Brett Favre has a Tyler Hansbrough poster on his bedroom wall.
+ Tyler Hansbrough’s toenail clippings are for sale on the Chinese black market.
+ Superman wears Tyler Hansbrough pajamas.

We would like to add:
+ When someone asked Tyler Hansbrough if he was afraid of Kevin Love, he replied "What does 'afraid' mean?"
+ If Tyler Hansbrough had been a Spartan the movie would have been called "1".
+ On Tyler Hansbrough's Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire Tar Heel Nation as his dependents.
+ On the seventh day Tyler Hansbrough said, "I'll take it from here."
+ When life gave Tyler Hansbrough lemons, he used them to beat Duke. Tyler Hansbrough freaking hates lemonade.

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