Tuesday, April 1, 2008


Key words being “hot” and “trail.”

Determined to regain their rightful place (according to them) at the top of the ACC football pecking order, the Florida State Seminoles have really been beating the Florida bushes this recruiting season. Long known as a hotbed of football talent, the Noles have dug deep to find some amazing talent hidden deep down in the Sunshine State.

“Daddgummit, we’ve left no dad burn stone uncovered,” said Bobby Bowden. “In fact, by golly, we’ve looked in sum places we ain’t never, ever looked before…for some pretty doggone good reasons, I might add.”

Two prize recruits who still miraculously have four full years of NCAA eligibility remaining are a father-son team destined to be starting linebackers next fall in Tallahassee. Yep, check out the Beebees. According to TheSmokingGun.com:

“Father Floyd, 48, and his son Justin, 21, were arrested last year (on different dates) in central Florida. As you can tell from the mug shots, the Bebees are forehead tattoo enthusiasts…In a TSG interview, Floyd Bebee, a father of eight, said that he has a tattoo on the back of his head reading "Got-R-Did." The ink on his forehead cost $125 and took about 45 minutes to complete, Bebee said, adding that he was the family trendsetter when it came to such head art.

Bebee, who does odd jobs like home remodeling and demolition, said that his wife had a succinct response to his forehead ink: "You crazy," she said. Bebee noted that since his son's eyes are open in his mug shot, the photo does not reveal a hidden surprise: Justin has the words "F***" and "You" tattooed on his eyelids.”

“Now, you tell me dem boys ain’t some dad burn ballers?” quipped Bowden.

Florida State also picked up a few other prized recruits form their newly developed “farm system.”

Next year, starting at tight end, the Noles hope to feature James Hulsey. Hulsey has been in and out of jail in Alabama and he is well known locally for his tattoo that makes him resemble “a denied mortgage application.” “He’s got great speed and blocking technique,” said FSU offensive wiz Chuck Amato. “That boy sees a flashing light and he moves like a shot out of a gun. Not sure why.”

At strong safety, Florida State hopes to sneak Adolph “Hitler” Krogerinski into the starting lineup. When we say sneak, we mean that literally since Krogerinski is a white supremacist who probably won’t fit in terribly well with the rest of the squad.

“Yeah, he’s a kook…a full blown kook,” said Daddgum-Coach-In-Waiting Jimbo Fisher, “but we need somebody back there who’s passionate about tackling the other teams’ wide outs and running backs. I think Adolph is our kook…I mean..er..guy.”

For more potential recruits at FSU, Maimi, Virginia Tech, Virginia, Maryland, Clemson, North Carolina, North Carolina State, Wake Forest, Boston College and Georgia Tech go to:

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