Wednesday, March 26, 2008


Thank the good Lord that Josh at the University of Massachusetts, Lowell got up in time to pen this important bit of pop culture literature before heading off to class…or 7-11, or wherever…

After trying many classy brews, it’s about time I reviewed an old standby of mine, Pabst Blue Ribbon. A pharmacy favorite, PBR can be found nearly everywhere beer is sold - and some places it’s not.

PBR pours a light straw color with…oh forget it. Who am I kidding, here - it’s Pabst. If you’re looking for a complex taste, you’ve come to the wrong place.

Now, if you’re looking for the perfect way to get wasted without resorting to drinking out of a trough, well…there you have it. That trashy, piss-drunk at the quarry vibe is here in spades.
(Now, that’s some quality prose – “piss drunk at the quarry” – it brings back such sweet memories…for somebody.)

We all have friends who are either staunch defenders or serious haters of the beer related to hipster dives and bozo jocks alike - and that’s the magic of it all. Without taking notice, both parties have developed an affinity for PBR’s cheap musk and watery taste.

It’s like world peace in an aluminum can…or something like that.

Pabst Blue Ribbon stats:

Smells like: house party at the McCarthy’s, 1996.
(that’s pronounced Macker-Theees)
Tastes like: minor malts in a tin can alley.
Alcohol content: 4.74%, but you can drink a billion.

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