GREAT GAZOO MAKES ANOTHER COMEBACK

According to ESPN’s Paul Lucas of UniWatch fame, this ugly thing pictured below left is the latest attempt at cranium safety for football brains.

“According to the cover story in a recent issue of Machine Design magazine, the upstart Protective Sports Equipment company -- the same firm that brought us the ProCap anti-concussion accessory, which was worn by Steve Wallace and Mark Kelso back in the 1990s -- is working with the league to develop a new helmet concept, called the Gladiator.

The Gladiator supposedly provides superior protection (for details, check out the article's full text here and here), although Uni Watch suspects most pro gridders would rather get a concussion than wear something so nerdy-looking. But whether the newfangled lid catches on or not, it probably won't be the last word in the design of the football helmet, which has gone through more evolutionary stages than any other sports accessory.

“As for the Gladiator, No one will wear it, because it's not cool. Image is everything in sports these days,” said Curtis Worrell, the man behind the mighty Helmet Hut web site.

True enough, although that didn't stop the handful of players who wore the ProCap (forever ridiculed as "the Great Gazoo helmet"). Let's just hope the Gladiator holds up better than the ProCap, which got pretty skanky with repeated use.

As our main man Lyle Lovett once said, "Thank you. No."