Monday, February 4, 2008

BRADY THROWS SUPER BOWL, AND NOT IN THE GOOD WAY

Various sources close to the New England Patriots are claiming that Tom Brady promised supermodel girlfriend Gisele Bundchen that, if the Patriots became undefeated Super Bowl Champions, he would retire from football, marry her and start (another) family.

The normally spectacular Brady was 29 for 48 for 266 yards and one crummy touchdown in last night's game.

The NFL is expected to announce today that former President Bill Clinton will conduct an independent George Mitchell-style investigation into the matter. Clinton called the latest investigation of public domestic issues "right up mah alley."

Members of Congress have also started the saber-rattling as well. Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA), who's already mad at the NFL, said, "Certain new financial obligations I have incurred as a result of last night's contest leave me, frankly, a bit skeptical about the eventual outcome and Mr. Brady's role in same."

When reached for a quote, Brady said, “I’m going to Universal Studios…then Vegas, then to Hef’s place.”

(Photo by Donald Miralle/Getty Images)

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