Thursday, January 3, 2008

MOUNTAINEERS TO ACC?

C’mon, why not? More football cred, and Morgantown is closer to the Atlantic Ocean as the Hokie flies than Blacksburg.

The reasons are compelling based on the similarities between WVU and so many other ACC schools.

GOOD FOOTBALL TEAM – Just like Boston College and Virginia Tech have and Miami and Florida State used to have.

UGLY HOMETOWN – Can you say College Park, MD?

IVY – There has to be some growing somewhere on the WVU campus just like UVa, UNC, Duke and Boston College.

REDNECK REPUTATION – N.C. State and Virginia Tech have been called worse. They call them engineers, everybody else call ‘em rednecks. After all, it's not a real tailgate if a pick up isn't involved.


GANGSTER RAP – Pac Man Jones and Chris Henry can give anybody street cred when it comes to matching up with Criminal U., Criminal State at Tallahassee, Criminal State at Raleigh, Criminal Tech Blacksburg and, of course, Klimpson.

A NICKNAME THAT’S EASY TO MAKE FUN OF – So, you got your Mountainqueers, and that can run with UVa-gina, Flaming Zimas, Klimpson, Chokies, Tar Holes, Cake Forest, Semen-holes, Puke, Criminal U., Georgah Tek, blah, blah.

COMPETENT HOOPS – West Virginia went deep into the Big Dance a few years ago with a tattoo covered dude named Pittsnoggle. What’s not to like? Last year, WVU won the NIT, but they misspelled “West Virgina” on the championship tee shirt. Perfect, yes?

WINNING TRADITIONSGranted it’s hard to top the whole couch burning thing, but the ACC does feature the full-blown riot (Maryland), bonfire jumping complete with the occasional injury (North Carolina), bench burning (Duke, before Durham outlawed outdoor fires – the yard maintenance guys appreciate the bump in business) and kidnapping (Virginia).

UGLY UNIS – First off, try polishing your helmet before the big bowl game on national television, and get WV stickers from a vendor that isn’t housed in a trailer. Of course, it possible that the Neers want their helmets to be all beat up and look like those pine tar encrusted messes the MLB guys wear. Secondly, the ugly yellow crazy striped uni is welcome to offset that dreadful white jersey with purple pants ensemble that Clemson insists on wearing.

GREAT FAN WEBSITES – Wemustignitethiscouch.com blows by Truthaboutduke.com like it’s tied to the rail.

And finally...

HOOP SHENANIGANS – There is a guy (a fan) that dances and contorts like a mad man on the basketball court during WVU games. The home crowds love this while the visitors mock it with great enthusiasm. The ACC has something very similar: Mike Krzcvbgnhledk3ski.

(Photos by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images, AP Photo/Matt York, Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)

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