Friday, November 9, 2007


Now, we are begging you...PUHLEEEEZ!


Virginia center Tunji Soroye will undergo knee surgery and is expected to be out six to eight weeks, Cavalier basketball coach Dave “House of the Knee Holy” Leitao said this morning.

Soroye, a 6-foot-11 senior who started 11 games last season and averaged 2.1 points and 3.2 rebounds, was injured in practice this week. Virginia opens its season Sunday against Vermont (Catamounts, 9,559 students, Burlington, VT).

Leitao said junior Laurynas Mikalauskas, junior Ryan Pettinella and sophomore Jerome Meyinsse are candidates to replace Soroye.
The news caused the Wahoos to plumment in the national polls...Oh, wait, that's incorrect. They aren't ranked.


Well, Virginia finally made a Final Four. Not that Final Four.

Chris Long has made the Final Four as one of the four finalist for the prestigious Lombardi Award.

Long, who leads the ACC and is fifth in the nation in sacks with 12, will join defensive tackle Glenn Dorsey of LSU, linebacker James Laurinaitis of Ohio State and offensive tackle Jake Long of Michigan at the Lombardi Award dinner in Houston, where the winner will be announced Dec. 5.

Voting on the award is done by about 500 voters made up of head coaches from all Division I schools, sports media from across the country and former winners and finalists of the award.

Xavier Adibi, LB, Virginia Tech, and Calais Campbell, DE, Miami were among the final 12 in consideration.


Florida State gave basketball coach Leonard Hamilton a two-year contract extension Thursday through 2012.

Hamilton begins his sixth season with the Seminoles, who won more than 20 games in each of the past two seasons. He is 87-71 overall at Florida State.

University President T.K. Wetherell believes the program is headed in the right direction, despite not reaching the NCAA tournament since 1998.

"We are well on our way to becoming a program of significance in the ACC and nationally," Hamilton said.

It is not know what FSU is paying Hamilton, but rumor has it that the FSU booster clubs, Garnett and Goal and Seminoles Boosters, Inc., are giving Hamilton $105 million a year to coach, and $104 million a year not to coach.


Miami city officials have recommended that the Orange Bowl be demolished and its salvageable parts -- even the urinals -- sold off as memorabilia.

If the Miami City Commission approves the city manager's recommendation, the Orange Bowl will meet the wrecking ball next year. City manager Pete Hernandez (Florida International, ’85) said Thursday that he will recommend the stadium be demolished, and he is expecting the Miami City Commission will approve.

The plan to level the 70-year-old football stadium, the site of five Super Bowls, memorable college football games and former home of the Miami Dolphins, was not unexpected. The stadium has fallen into disrepair and lost its last major tenant when the University of Miami decided to move its home football games to Dolphin Stadium.

Its final event will be a high-school football all-star game, on Jan. 4, 2008.

The Canes will play their final home game at the OB on Saturday against the Wahoos.

(Photo by Robert Sullivan/Getty Images)


According to ESPN: Duke's "Cameron Crazies" are known as some of the most committed -- never mind nuttiest -- fans in college basketball.

But while they'll set up a tent village to assure a spot in the stands for some home games, others have been so sparsely attended by undergraduates that the university has set up a new reservation system to encourage them to come.

"The attendance last year was pathetic in terms of fan support, and that's something we're trying to rectify this year," said Roberto Bazzani, a Duke senior who serves as head line monitor.

Student attendance has been slipping over the past five years, and when the men's team finished 22-11 last year, more than half the home games were played before empty seats in the student sections.

"It was minimal at first, and then last year, it was a dramatic decrease," Bazzani said. "Last year, you could walk in 15 minutes after tipoff and still get great seats."

"I'm not going to say our record was miserable it wasn't," Bazzani said. "But Duke fans, we've been spoiled a little bit. We expect an Elite Eight every year, a run at an ACC championship.”


Evidently, in Kentucky "similar in stature" means crappy.

The University of Louisville has filed a lawsuit against Duke University claiming breach of contract after the Blue Devils opted out of the final three games of a four-game football series. Louisville claims it could not find an opponent of similar stature to fill the schedule and received "little, if any, help from either Duke or the [Atlantic Coast Conference]" in finding a replacement.
The lawsuit, filed in Franklin Circuit Court, is asking for $450,000 in damages and any additional damages that the court sees fit.

The two schools were to meet four times between 2002 and 2009. Louisville beat the Blue Devils 40-3 in September 2002, but Duke opted out of the final three games, to be played this season and in 2008 and 2009.

Duke, according to the suit, asked the Cardinals to find a replacement opponent and promised to pay Louisville only if the school could not find one after a "good faith" effort.

A call to Duke by The Associated Press on Thursday wasn't immediately returned.

Louisville still has one open date on its 2008 schedule and two open dates in 2009.

So TAH decided to help. We called Louisville and told them we're a “Duke football advocacy group.” To that end, we suggested SMU, Idaho, Baylor, Minnesota, Marshall, Tulane, Northwestern, Mississippi and Vandy. None have the tradition of horribleness that is Duke football, but they are all pretty much a guaranteed W.


CHOO CHOO? According to DC Sports Bog, which was invented for just such a thing, it's Clinton Portis' newest "character." It's "Choo-Choo." We don't know what it means, but if it helps the Skins beat the Eagles, we're all in.

Thursday, November 8, 2007


Has anybody seen the tall guy in the middle? The one in the white striped shirt with the blue ball cap?

Yep, that's TAH Special Correspondent John "Wanted Dead or Alive" Clark...

(Photo by Craig "Mr." Anderson)


More than any other conference in this football crazy nation, the ACC has the most semifinalist for the prestigious Lou Groza Award. Six. That's right, count 'em...SIX.

The award is for…um…uh…kickers. Yeah, that’s what we said…KICKERS.

The ACC had six of its place-kickers selected among the 20 semifinalists announced Tuesday for the prestigious Lou Groza Award presented by the FedEx Orange Bowl. The semifinalists for the Groza Award, which is given annually to the nation's top place-kicker in the NCAA Bowl Subdivison, were announced by the Palm Beach Sports Institute and Sports Commission.

No other conference had more than four honorees. (Take that SEC!)

Those honored from the ACC include, in alphabetical order by name include:

Connor Barth, North Carolina (right)
Travis Bell, Georgia Tech
Gary Cismesia, Florida State
Jud Dunlevy, Virginia Tech (above left)
Steven Hauschka, NC State
Sam Swank, Wake Forest

Cismesia and Swank were both among the semifinalists last year. Combined, the six ACC kickers have made 91 of 107 field goals this year, an impressive percentage of .850, and have made 137 of 141 PATs, a .972 percentage.


James Gist (right with Josh "Irish Julia" McRoberts) and Landon Milbourne will miss Maryland's season opener against North Florida (Ospreys, 13,479 students, Jacksonville, FL) after inadvertently violating an NCAA rule, the school announced Tuesday.

Gist and Milbourne participated in one day of the Maryland state 5-on-5 tournament in Ocean City, Md. in April. The pair later learned their participation was in violation of an NCAA bylaw that prohibits student-athletes from competing in unsanctioned basketball competition outside of the university.

Upon learning of their participation in the event, the Maryland athletics department shared the infractions with the NCAA.

The opener, on Nov. 11, is part of the 2007 O'Reilly Auto Parts CBE Classic. Gist and Milbourne will be eligible to return the following night.

“I really wanted the kids to learn a lesson,” said Williams, “so I thought about suspending them for our ACC opener against Boston College December 9th.” “Then I thought,” concluded Williams, “that would be stupid.”

On Wednesday night, Maryland defeated Concordia (Stingers, 25,437, Montreal, Quebec, Canada) 75-42 in an exhibition game at Comcast.

(Photo courtesy of


Richard Pryor was still alive.

Georgia Tech, you are on notice.


NORTH CAROLINA @ NC STATE (-4) - 12:00 PM, TV: R/LF (XM 190) – It’s OK to yawn.
WAKE FOREST @ CLEMSON (-8.5) - 12:00 PM., TV: ESPN2 (XM 191) – How far has Wake fallen and is Clemson for real or not?
GEORGIA TECH (-13.5) @ DUKE - 1:00 PM, TV: (XM 192) – Chan Gailey’s job is safe until 4pm Saturday. First team to lose to Duke is now required by a new league rule to fire the head coach before he leaves the field post game.
FLORIDA STATE @ VIRGINIA TECH (-5) - 3:30 PM, TV: ABC (XM 190) – This could get ugly for our long lost TAH Special Correspondent John Clark. Florida State linebacker Marcus Ball has been suspended for Saturday's game.
VIRGINIA @ MIAMI (-4) - 7:15 PM, TV: ESPN2 (XM 191) – UVa’s leading rusher Cedric Peerman out for the year. Wright to start at QB for Miami.
BOSTON COLLEGE (-6) @ MARYLAND - 8:00 PM, TV: ABC (XM 192) – BC needs to bounce back…Terps beat up badly. Ralph: cranky, hungry.

(AP Photo/Steve Helber)


OFFENSIVE BACK-- Drew “Couldn’t Change The” Weatherford, Florida State, Quarterback, 6-3, 215, Rs-Jr., Odessa, Fla. Against Boston College, Weatherford (#11 below) had a career night, leading the Seminoles to their first-ever road win over a team ranked No. 2 in the nation. For the night, he was 29-of-45 for 354 yards with two touchdowns and zero interceptions.

OFFENSIVE LINEMAN-- Barry “Pancake” Richardson, Clemson, Tackle, 6-7, 330, Sr., Mt. Pleasant, S.C. Against Duke, Richardson graded over 90 percent for the second week in a row. In the 47-10 win, he played 45 snaps, recording 8.5 knockdown blocks and allowed zero sacks.

DEFENSIVE LINEMAN-- Chris “Who’s My Daddy?” Long, Virginia, Defensive End, 6-4, 284, Sr., Ivy, Va. Long was a disruptive force against No. 21 Wake Forest on Saturday, registering 10 total tackles, including two for loss, a sack and three quarterback pressures.

DEFENSIVE BACK-- Trimane “Space Station” Goddard, North Carolina, Safety, 5-11, 195, Jr., Robersonville, N.C. Goddard (#31 left) led a North Carolina defense that held a potent Maryland ground attack to just 93 yards and 2.8 yards per carry. He recorded 10 total tackles, including eight solo stops, and had one pass break up and one interception as the Tar Heels defeated the Terrapins 16-13.

SPECIALIST-- Steven “Burning-ah Down Da” Hauschka, NC State, Placekicker, 6-2, 185, Grad., Needham, Mass. All of Hauschka's career-high four field goals came in the fourth quarter or overtime of NC State's 19-16 win over Miami. His 42-yarder in overtime sealed the win. Hauschka has now hit 14-of-15 field goals this season, and leads the ACC with a 93.3 field goal percentage.

-- Rodney “Hornet” Hudson, Florida State, Offensive Guard, 6-2, 285, Fr., Mobile, Ala. Hudson (#62 right) played in all 81 snaps for the Florida State offense in the Seminoles' 27-17 upset win at No. 2 Boston College Saturday night, and was the only offensive lineman to grade out above 80 percent.

(Photos by AP Photos - Steve Helber, Michael Dwyer, Gerry Broome and Luis M. Alvarez)


Miami QB Kirby Freeman, certainly had one of those very bad days. As you may recall, young Mr. Freeman was 1-14 for 84 yards, 1 touchdown and 3 interceptions last Saturday vs. NCSU.

Yes, the one completion was for 84 yards and a touchdown, but the rest of it was JPA (just plain awful). Somebody out in cyberspace took the time to make a video, and, of course, it wound up on Deadspin.

Hang with it, the musical accompaniment is amusing…


Elon quarterback Scott Riddle (Ramseur, N.C./Eastern Randolph) was named the Southern Conference Freshman of the Week. Again.

The 6-0, 201-pound Riddle has been tabbed SoCon Freshman of the Week three times and SoCon Offensive Player of the Week three times so far this season. Riddle threw for an Elon and SoCon record of 534 yards and registered new program single-season records for passing attempts (425), plays of total offense (523) and yards of total offense (3,071) at Furman Saturday.

Riddle completed 38 of 52 passes and threw three touchdowns while rushing for three scores, marking the second time this season he was responsible for a program-best six touchdowns in a single game.

Behind Riddle’s efforts, Elon now ranks 12th in the NCAA Division I Football Championship Subdivision in total offense with 425.3 yards per game, 13th in scoring offense with 36.8 points per game and 17th in passing efficiency with a 147.6 rating.

Riddle now leads both the SoCon and the nation with 3,140 total passing yards, 348.9 passing yards per game and 32.4 completions per game. He leads the SoCon and ranks second in the nation with 341.2 yards of total offense per game and 23.1 points responsible for per game.

Other than that, a ho-hum season.

(Photo by Hunt Ward)


HERE WE GO AGAIN...A wild and wacky football season got underway when App State upset Michigan at the Big House. Now it looks like basketball is quickly headed down the same meandering path...

Gardner-Webb's Thomas Sanders, right, is fouled by Kentucky's Michael Porter during Gardner-Webb's 84-68 college basketball upset at Rupp Arena in Lexington, Ky., on Wednesday, Nov. 7, 2007. Sanders finished the game with 21 points and 10 rebounds.

Gardner-Webb: Runnin' Bulldogs, 4,000 students, Boiling Springs, NC.
Yes, North Carolina is the basketball capital of the free world.

(AP Photo/ James Crisp)


HERE WE GO, AGAIN 2...Findlay's Morgan Lewis (20) celebrates after a 70-68 win over Ohio State during their exhibition college basketball game Tuesday, Nov. 6, 2007, in Columbus, Ohio.

Findlay? Oilers, 3,350 students, Findlay, OH, Division II.

(AP Photo/Terry Gilliam)


THE BIGGEST RACE DOWN UNDER...Jockey Michael Rodd riding Efficient #6 crosses the line ahead of Purple Moon riden by Damien Oliver during the Emirates Melbourne Cup at The Melbourne Cup Carnival meeting at Flemington Racecourse November 6, 2007 in Melbourne, Australia.

(Photo by Robert Cianflone/Getty Images)


UGLY UNI ALERT! Holy Cow! Check Cuba's pitcher Elier Sanchez Quesada as he pitches against Australia in the first inning of their first game of the 37th Baseball World Cup, Wednesday, Nov. 7, 2007, in Taipei, Taiwan. Cuba defeated Australia 3-2.

Man, that's a bad uni...

(AP Photo/Chiang Ying-ying)

Wednesday, November 7, 2007


North Carolina flexed its basketball recruiting muscle Monday when it received a commitment from Tyler Zeller, one of the top high school basketball players in the country. A 6-foot-11, 220-pound senior power forward at Washington, Ind., Zeller was the highest-rated uncommitted player in the country before he opted for the Tar Heels.

Zeller, No. 16 on the's Top 100 list, chose North Carolina despite strong pitches from local schools Indiana, Purdue and Notre Dame.

UNC needed Zeller to strengthen a two-man class of 6-8 forward Ed Davis of Richmond Benedictine and 6-0 point guard Larry Drew.

The commitment is not binding, but Zeller is expected to sign a national letter of intent during the early signing period that begins Nov. 14.

It should be noted that UNC has had great success with other big men from Indiana -- Eric Montross and Sean May -- who played on national championship teams in Chapel Hill.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: He looks kinda skinny and dorky, are we sure he isn't going to Duke?)


Virginia Tech may file a police report in Atlanta to get to the bottom of how four jerseys went missing from its locker room Thursday in Bobby Dodd Stadium, an athletic department official said Monday.

Director of Football Operations John Ballein sent an e-mail to Georgia Tech's equipment manager on Monday to see if anything new had been learned. As of Monday afternoon, Ballein had not heard back. Depending on what Georgia Tech uncovers, Virginia Tech may put the matter in the hands of Atlanta police, Ballein said.

Before the game, Virginia Tech issued a release that said the jerseys had not been stolen. But Glennon said Hokies equipment managers told him that someone had indeed sneaked into the locker room and nabbed the jerseys.

"They didn't want to make a big deal of it and make Georgia Tech look bad," Glennon said. "But it was stolen."

Rumor has it that MIA TAH Special Correspondent John Clark was somehow involved...


Virginia Tech Coach Frank Beamer remained mum Monday on who will be the Hokies' starting quarterback on Saturday against Florida State, strong-armed junior Sean Glennon or mobile freshman Tyrod Taylor.

"We're going to wait and see what our game plan is, see how things fit," Beamer said in a conference call with reporters. "I'll let you know something when I know something on that situation."

It would be difficult for Beamer to bench either quarterback. Glennon, who has a 12-4 career record as a starting quarterback, played the best game of his career Thursday, throwing for 296 yards in a 27-3 victory over Georgia Tech.

Taylor is fully recovered from the high-ankle sprain he suffered on Oct. 13, and Virginia Tech won all five games he started.

Statistically, Glennon is the better option. He has completed 64 percent of his passes for 1,028 yards with six touchdowns and two interceptions. Taylor has completed 52 percent for 640 yards with three touchdowns and one interception. Glennon's efficiency rating is 140.7, and Taylor's is 112.4.

But Taylor's best asset, his speed, defies statistics. Beamer originally replaced Glennon, last year's starter, with Taylor because his ability to scramble away from pressure was needed behind a leaky offensive line. Although right tackle
Ed Wang's return has improved the Hokies' line, Glennon was sacked six times Thursday.
photo (By John Mcdonnell -- The Washington Post)


For the first 10 minutes of its exhibition basketball game with Duke last Saturday evening, defending NCAA D-II National Champion Barton College (Bulldogs, 1,189 students, Wilson, NC) gave the Blue Devils all they could handle.

Much to the delight of a large Barton following in attendance, the Bulldogs led 14-9 at the 11:26 mark and 17-16 with 9:09 remaining before intermission. And, then reality set in…Duke went on a tyical run, and cruised to a 105-44 win. Duke was up 20 at intermission.

SHOCKING BREAKING NEWS ALERT: Duke shot 34 free throws while Barton attempted…drum roll, please…11. Yep, 11.

“You can tell they are (chicken s&%#) championship-level kids because they play hard on every possession,” Duke head coach Mike Krzyzlkj4ski said. “They were a little unconventional for us because they basically had five guards out there at times, (which, of course, was stupid). Initially, they (got lucky and) handled our pressure very well…but our defense was excellent in the last 30 minutes (and we kicked their skinny Division II asses).

Barton tuned up for the game with a 94-57 loss to N.C. State in Raleigh and followed up the Duke debacle with a 77-75 road loss to Jerry Falwell U. (Liberty University, Flames, 14,534 students, Lynchburg, VA)

(photo courtesy of

Monday, November 5, 2007


The Naval Academy canceled classes today, giving the 4,400 midshipmen another day to celebrate the football team's first victory over Notre Dame in 44 tries.

"We are all proud of our Navy football team for beating Notre Dame in South Bend for the first time in 43 years!" Vice Admiral Jeffrey Fowler, the academy's superintendent, said in an e-mail to The (Annapolis) Capital. "We are all part of history because of this victory."

Fowler said Navy won because its practices are more intense than the games (now was that nice?) He also said they would party like rock stars if they could only locate TAH Special Correspondent John Clark.

The celebrations began in earnest late Saturday in Annapolis when the team bus pulled in. The academy gave plebes, or freshmen, free time Sunday from noon to 10 p.m., instead of a regular study period. Upperclassmen were given liberty until 4 p.m. Monday, allowing them to sleep in, study or just enjoy the victory.

The city of Annapolis has tentatively scheduled a celebration rally Wednesday afternoon, city spokesman Ray Weaver said.


…dead or alive.

A Bon Joviesque ode to our lost TAH Special Correspondent John Clark:


It’s all the same, only academic eligibilities change
Everyday it seems Coach Bobby is wasting away
Another game where the faces are so cold
I’d play Wake Forest just to get back home

Chorus (minor):
I’m a Seminole, on a white horse I ride
I’m wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive

Sometimes I sweep, sometimes I run draw plays
It all depends on how the wins and losses go their separate ways
Sometimes you tell the day
By how far in the rankings you sink
And times when you’re all alone it's about Florida you think

Chorus (minor):
I’m a Seminole, on a white horse I ride
I’m wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive

I walk these sidelines, a lousy QB on my back
I play for keeps, cause I can’t take a sack
We’ll kick Tech’s ass, and play some mighty ball
We’ve got illiterate recruits, next year we'll win 'em all

Chorus (major):
I’m a Seminole, on a white horse I ride
I’m wanted dead or alive
I’m a Seminole, on a white horse I ride

I’m wanted dead or alive
Wanted dead or alive

Coda (Ed)


Dear TAH:


What a weekend of college football.

Alabama/lLSU - amazing game.

BC goes Down.

Va Tech steamrolling towards a playoff game with the uVa(gina) _____s(Editor's Note: you fill in the blank, it's a semi-family publication!) and a BC rematch.

Don't look, but Mizzou Tigers are in the hunt (My old man was a 5 year letterman at Missouri and played in a couple of bowl games... held a Gator Bowl record for receptions for a short period of time and met Harry Truman at the White House).

Too much info.
Nice write up.

Anxious to read the Florida State correspondent.

Go Hokies!

Semper fi,

(EDITOR'S NOTE: General, we did notice Mizzou sneaking up to #9 and playing well, but their coach is not gigantically obese and nobody from there has done or said anything funny, stupid or illegal!)


Dear Mr. Snyder:

Yes, it’s sacrilege, but please fire Coach Joe NOW! After another mediocre performance against a 1-7 team, here is what Coach Joe said, "That's more the look of what I envision Redskin football to be.”


OK, we know Coach Joe wants to win every game 10-9, but that’s not how it works in the modern NFL. Face it, the Gibbs 2.0 experiment is a FAILURE. The Redskins will never be 12-4 based on such a philosophy. Nobody’s defense and special teams is that good. Nobody. Nobody can count on gaining 200 yards rushing every game. NOBODY.

Look at the NFL’s two Secretariats – Indy and New England. To be a part of the NFL elite, you have to have a good defense (check) and your offense has to be able to score TWO or THREE touchdowns a game. That’s two or three touchdowns on sustained drives. Even against the likes of Miami and the Jets (a combined 1-16), the Skins CAN'T do that.

Who was the focus of the Indy-NE pre-game hype: the quarterbacks or the running backs? Hmmm…we can’t EVEN name the starting running backs for either team. Who had more yards rushing? The Colts. Who won the game? NOT the Colts. And don't try to tell us the Skins' O-line is banged up. Of course it is, it's pro football. You want BANGED UP, talk to Coach Fridge.

Gibbs would rather rush for 200 yards a game and touchdowns be DAMNED. It worked against Bill Parcell’s Giants in the 1980’s, but everybody, including Gibbs, seems to have forgotten that the Redskins last Super Bowl team piled up points on offense like CRAZY. Remember the Fun Bunch? That was WAY back WHEN, when Coach Joe actually liked wide receivers and endorsed the RADICAL concept of the forward pass.

So, Gibbs hires and offensive genius with a 700 page playbook and then takes the entire section titled “Down Field Passing” (which is probably DAMN NEAR 400 pages) and shreds it for the hamster’s cage. He simply won’t let Jason Campbell throw the ball down field. Campbell looks extremely tentative on EVERY throw and this is no doubt because there is a chorus of coaches voices SCREAMING in his head “DON’T THROW A PICK!” If they want to go anywhere in the playoffs (if they get there), they are gonna have to let the kid loose. PLEASE.

Television commentators wonder week after week why the Redskin's don't "stretch the field" considering their considerable talent? When are they gonna figure out that the Redskins aren't throwing the ball down field simply because they DON'T want to.

The season is HALF over, and the Redskins wide receivers still DON’T have a touchdown catch. That has to be some kind of RECORD. A BAD record. Yesterday, a wide receiver didn’t catch a pass in the fist half.

Brandon Lloyd was left at home when he missed what Gibbs called an “important meeting” on Friday. It was important all right -- the purpose of the meeting was to tell the wide receivers that, yet again, they would NOT be part of the game plan. If the Skins don’t run that little chicken-s&*# flanker quick out/screen and the odd end-around, Santana Moss would be BEGGING to run back punts just to get some touches.

And WHY is the defense making stupid plays that lead to big penalties (and in Leron Landry’s case a probable fine)? Two reasons: 1) Playing Greg Williams “attacking” defense requires aggression which requires emotion. So guys running around screaming and hurling their bodies RECKLESSLY at the opposition are gonna have lapses of discipline. In Landry’s case, he’s always been a “head tackler” – he has a highlight real of college sacks where he leads with his head like a MISSILE. Every single one of them would have been a 15 yard penalty in the NFL. But, that’s a minor detail as the guy can flat PLAY.

The other reason the Redskins ' defense plays like CRAZY men, and occasionally goes overboard, is because 2) they know to a man – and they wont’ admit this publicly and perhaps not even privately – that their offensive brethren CAN’T score consistently. So the defense is out there trying to CREATE turnovers and SCORE points, and that leads to all kinds over aggressiveness and bad decisions. On the plus side, did you notice how TENTATIVE the Jets receivers became after the first three quarters of getting POUNDED on every play?

The bottom line is unfortunately this: yesterday, the Skins only managed ONE offensive touchdown which followed a TURNOVER.

So either fire our beloved Coach Joe or convince him that great defense and 200 yards a game will not lead to victories over the Patriots (obviously) or, in all likelihood, the Cowboys or the Giants. It just won’t CONSISTENTLY work.

It’s 2007, it time to wake up and READ the playbook. Better still RUN some of the plays on pages 301 to 700.

Of course, we could be WRONG.

Fire up the helicopter, the EAGLES are coming to town! We are headed to Raleigh this weekend, want us to give Bill Cowher a ring?

Your loyal fan.

Sunday, November 4, 2007


Special Correspondent John Clark (pictured right) will no doubt return with infinite wisdom sometime in the near future after going AWOL for some time. Last night, Clark’s beloved Seminoles finally won a game of some ACC import defeating Boston College 27-17.

While we wait further expert analysis, here’s what happened:

Florida State played Boston College. It was cold. Drew Weatherford (354 yards, 2 TDs, no picks) played like Matt Ryan, and Matt Ryan (3 picks) played like Drew Weatherford.

Bobbie Bowden said “dadgummit” a bunch. BC coach Jeff Jagodzinski said “Godd#%& it!” a bunch.

Florida State won.

Details to follow.

(AP Photo/Michael Dwyer)


...we load up our schedule with service academies?

The Midshipmen of the Naval Academy finally shook off the Yoke of the Fighting Irish with their first victory over Notre Dame in 44 tries. The Mids had not beaten the boys from South Bend since 1963. I took three overtimes, and two stops on the final 2 point conversion after a gift defensive pass interference calls from the refs in South Bend, but Navy prevailed 46 to 44. In their previous game, Navy’s beleaguered defense gave up 59 points…They improved by 25.4%.

The 1963 Navy squad that last whipped the Golden Domers was led by Roger Staubach. Staubach would unfortunately enjoy a long and prosperous pro career with the insipid Dallas Cowboys. That year, the Middies were 9-1 losing only to National Champion Texas 28-6 in the Cotton Bowl. Navy was ranked #2 in the final poll just behind the Longhorns.

Way to go Navy.

(AP Photo/Michael Conroy)


...won an ACC regular season game Johnny Carson was still alive.

Clemson, who gave up that loss, must have been worried when the Blue Devils jumped out to a 7-0 lead.

They didn’t worry long.

Almost immediately after that, the defense and the special teams also got into the scoring act.

Cullen Harper would set a school scoring record and his short scoring run set off a momentum-shifting burst of 16 points in 39 seconds that carried No. 25 Clemson to a 47-10 rout of the Blue Devils on Saturday.

(AP Photo/Gerry Broome)


Riddle us this: Your quarterback in 1-12 for 84 yards with three interceptions. You have the ball 2nd down on the 9 yard line down 3 points with time running out. Do you call the one of the most difficult passes in football – the Fade?

Answer: If you are Randy Shannon, the answer is “yes.” In fact, Shannon feels so strongly about it, that after it’s incomplete (SHOCKING!!), and now his QB is NOW 1 for 13, he runs it AGAIN.

In one word: STUPID.

Miami’s Irish place kicker misses a 27 yarder in OT and NCSU’s Steven Hauschka's fourth field goal, a 42-yarder, lifted surging North Carolina State to a 19-16 win over Miami on Saturday. The Wolfpack overcame a 13-7 deficit to win their third straight game -- and give coach

Tom O'Brien his first-ever (and only as the Hurricanes are headed to Dolphins’ Stadium next year) win at the Orange Bowl.

(AP Photo/Luis M. Alvarez)


The Wahoos have set a record by winning five games this point by two or fewer points. They did it gain Saturday, knocking off Wake Forest 17-16. Virginia scored late, but Wake drove to Hoo's 30 in the closing seconds. Here Deacon coach Jim Grobe made Stupid Calls #3 and #4.

Grobe chose to run two very conservative running plays instead of letting clutch QB Riley Skinner use his hands and feet to get the Deacons closer. Subsequently, Sam Swank, one of the best kickers in the ACC, missed a 47-yard field-goal attempt with two seconds left. He had made 13-of-14 field-goal attempts before missing his last two tries against Virginia.

Like the offense of Maryland’s hoop squad the last few seasons, we wonder how UVA ever scores. While their defense is quite good, their offense is mediocre at best. The running game is routine, and QB Jameel Sewell, while a gifted athlete with a great arm, is simply not a good down field passer. However, he has a knack for making the crucial play which he did again yesterday on the Wahoos winning drive.

None the less, they keep getting it done…

(AP Photo/Steve Helber)


…Cause the Terps need help on the line.

Injuries have decimated the Terps offensive line which looks to now be down to just five available players. It wasn’t pretty for either team, but UNC’s offense did enough to win and the defense thwarted two final comeback drives by the Terps to prevail 16-13 in Chapel Hill.

Connor Barth kicked three field goals, T.J. Yates threw a touchdown pass to Hakeem Nicks to end Carolina’s two-game losing streak.

Freshman tailback Johnny White added a career-high 92 yards rushing for the Tar Heels (3-6, 2-3 Atlantic Coast Conference).

Now, when the Heels beat State, Georgia Tech and Duke, they will be BOWL ELIGIBLE…(Butch Davis ROCKS!)

Ha Ha…and monkey’s will fly out of our butts!

(AP Photo/Sara D. Davis)


Elon lost to Furman, but freshman quarterback Scott Riddle set another conference record with a 534-yard passing performance. He also has a record string or seven 300+ games in a row, and is the only Southern Conference QB to EVER throw for 300+ yards in eight games.

In a no doubt frustrating 52-49 loss, Riddle was 38 for 54 for 534 yards, three touchdowns and three interceptions. Riddle, the SoCon Player of the Month for October, scored three touchdowns rushing, and was sacked four times.


Dear Mr. Riddle:

This attractive young woman’s name is Danielle Ransdell. As you may have noticed, she is a cheerleader for your Elon Pheonix. We don’t know anything at all about this young woman, but she is a cheerleader and you are the starting quarterback.

Get busy.

Keep us posted.
(Matt Leddy photo - we think)


Dear Mr. Riddle:

Everything we said before, just change the attractive young lady's name to Allison Levent…

(Matt Leddy photo)

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