Friday, November 2, 2007


This just in! From a loyal reader and OasisGate insider whom we won't name so we don't jeopardize his ongoing employment (J. Clark):

"In the ongoing Oasis battle, word on the street (from one Mark "Mad Dog" Williams) is that actually Shaq & THT3 may be romantically involved. Shaq's getting divorced, THT is in wine country be the judge...."

Immediately after receiving this email, we saw similar blind items on the well known gossip sites Page Seven, PerezSheraton and the Sludge Report!

...and then we uncovered this super secret photo!


...The last time Duke won an ACC regular season football game James Brown was still alive...

Good God!

Clemson, you are officially on notice.

Don't choke.


6,000 -- as in hits since March.

And YOU helped.

Woo hoo!


From the TAH STYLE PAGE – The Unreliable Source:

An alert reader has hipped TAH to an ongoing “situation.” Evidently, said source who looks with disdain at leggy coeds in cowboy boots still peruses the Style section for gossip tips…Go figure.

Yesterday in the Washington Post’s gossip section, the Reliable Source, some local barristers who will remain unnamed (P.Morrison and T.H.Thorpe 3) were mentioned in a piece about the legal battle and family squabble that is “Oasis Crest.” Evidently, the Salahi family is having a spat over who will control the well known local Oasis Vineyard. To spice up the already oakey Merlots, now they are dragging NBA star Shaquille O’Neal into the mix.

Word on the street from exclusive (and mostly sober) TAH sources is that our two fine legal friends concocted the entire scam to draw attention to their law firms which are charged with the difficult job of resolving the Salahi family feud. First they started circulating rumors to various media outlets both locally and in D.C. about the currently separated Shaq making frequent visits to the Old Dominion’s wine country with various girlfriends du jour.

Once they got the wags attention, the glimmer twins of the Warrenton legal community turned it up a notch by circulating the rumor that Shaq and the owner’s son and daughter-in-law would partner up to purchase Oasis and rename it Chateau Shaq, Shaq’s Leap, or Naked Shaq Vineyards.

Why Shaq? Easy, THT3 is affable, outgoing and a natural salesman – he’s practically a sports agent. His sense of political correctness and his ability to refrain from “telling it like it is” made him the perfect person to approach the publicity shy basketball star with a giant sense of entitlement. Known throughout the industry as Mr. Sensitive, THT3 used his favorite incentives, ice cream and you-know-what, to land the Heat center. “Works every time,” said Thorpe.

PM, who has relatives in Louisiana, Mississippi, Arkansas, Alabama and just about every other damn state in the South, had the connections through LSU to land Shaq Daddy. If you recall, PM is a stalwart of SEC sports, and the Shaqmeister attended LSU for about 69 days during one college basketball season before he jumped on Kobe Bryant's back and "rode him like a damn horse."

“For the record, we are blessed that such a fine gentlemen, and athlete is considering partnering with our clients,” added Morrison. "Blessed, truly blessed."

…and all this time everybody thought Shaq was hangin’ out at Michael Vick’s pad with Marcus in South Beach.

Not so fast.

TAH has confirmed this report (with B. Howard, R. Gulick and J. Clark) and stands by every word (for now).


Some Virginia Tech jerseys, including starting QB Sean Glennon’s, “disappeared,” but the Hokies (7-2, 4-1 ACC) reappeared nicely following their late night collapse against BC to clobber the Yellow Jackets. Glennon’s makeshift Georgia Tech jersey had his name written on the back with a Sharpie. He blacked out the GT logo on the front and added a backward Nike logo. Ugly, but it worked.

Glennon made his second straight start in place of freshman Tyrod Taylor, who was sidelined again by a sprained ankle. The replacement starter, who lost the job to Taylor after the second game, made the most of it by throwing for 296 yards, including a 40-yard touchdown pass to Justin Harper and a 71-yarder to Josh Morgan.

The Hokies defense was stifling as GT’s QB tossed 4 picks…

(Photo by Mike Zarrilli/Getty Images)


Clemson (-15.5) @ Duke Durham, N.C. 12:00 p.m. ET
NC State @ Miami (-11.5) Miami, Fla. ESPNU 12:00 p.m. ET
Wake Forest @ Virginia (Pick ‘em) Charlottesville, Va. R/LF 12:00 p.m. ET
Maryland @ North Carolina (-2.5) Chapel Hill, N.C. ESPNU 3:45 p.m. ET
Florida State @ Boston College (-6) Chestnut Hill, Mass. ABC 8:00 p.m. ET

Is it our imagination, or does the MD dude, in fact, look stoned?


Co-OFFENSIVE BACK--Matt Ryan, Boston College, Quarterback, 6-5, 220, Sr., Exton, Pa. In possibly the biggest game of his career, Ryan led a furious Boston College comeback in the last two minutes of play to down Virginia Tech 14-10. Playing in a driving rain for much of the evening, the senior Heisman-candidate overcame a stingy Hokie defense late in the game for two scores and the win.

Co-OFFENSIVE BACK--Donald Bowens, NC State, Wide Receiver, 6-3, 200, So., St. Petersburg, Fla. Against No. 18 Virginia on Saturday evening, Bowens had the best game of his career with the Wolfpack, catching 11 passes for a total of 202 yards and two touchdowns as NC State upset the Cavaliers 29-24. His total of 202 yards receiving is the fifth-best single-game total ever for a Wolfpack receiver. .

OFFENSIVE LINEMAN--Barry Richardson, Clemson, Tackle, 6-7, 330, Sr., Mt. Pleasant, S.C. In Clemson's 30-17 win over Maryland, Richardson (right) played in 86 snaps, registering a 93 percent grade for his play along the line. Blocking for running backs James Davis and CJ Spiller, Richardson recorded eight knockdown blocks, including three intimidation blocks, as the Tigers piled up 249 yards on the ground and 428 overall.

DEFENSIVE LINEMAN--Aaron Curry, Wake Forest, Linebacker, 6-3, 240, Jr., Fayetteville, N.C. Curry, an inside linebacker for the Demon Deacons, set the tone for his team on Saturday, intercepting a North Carolina pass on the game's first play from scrimmage. Later, he would add another interception, which he returned 77 yards for a touchdown. Nice Aaron, NICE!

DEFENSIVE BACK--DaJuan Morgan (left), NC State, Safety, 6-1, 200, Jr., Riviera Beach, Fla. Playing against one of the hottest teams in the league on Saturday, Morgan and the Wolfpack defense came up big, allowing only 94 yards rushing and forcing two turnovers against UVa. In the contest, Morgan led the Wolfpack with 13 tackles and had two pass breakups and one interception.

SPECIALIST--Kevin Marion, Wake Forest, Wide Receiver, 5-10,
168, Sr., St. Petersburg, Fla. In the Demon Deacons' 37-10 win, Marion had two huge returns for a total of 181 yards and one touchdown. In the first half, he returned one 98 yards for a touchdown. Marion currently leads the ACC, and the nation, with an average of 33.9 yards per return for the No. 21 Demon Deacons.

ROOKIE--Jake Vermiglio, NC State, Offensive Tackle, 6-4, 297, Fr., Rochester, Mich. Vermiglio (right), a true freshman for the Wolfpack, played 77 offensive snaps at left tackle on Saturday against Virginia. Going up against All-American candidate Chris Long for much of the day, he earned a grade of 85, limiting Long to five tackles and one sack on the day.


Keep your friends close, and your bass closer...

Six months ago, Virginia Tech's Scott Wiley didn't know that College Bass clubs existed. Last Saturday, he and partner Brett Thompson out-fished 35 of the top College Bass teams in America to win the Under Armour College Bass National Championship on the Arkansas River.

Wiley found out about College Bass from a friend of a friend, and immediately started going through the necessary steps to build a team for the Hokies. He contacted the Student Government Association, filled out some paper work, and found the process "surprisingly easy."

And while he was a rookie to College Bass, Wiley was certainly no rookie to bass fishing. Only a few days after the club formed, it sent two teams down to fish an invitational tournament put on by North Carolina State University — and Wiley's team won (Thompson's team finished fourth). C’mon, you didn’t think Duke or Boston College held bassing fishin’ tournaments, now did you?

Virginia Tech won with an 8 pound, 8 ounce bag of four fish. Thompson said they decided to focus mainly on rock piles and jetties, which are abundant on the river, and switch their crankbait to a darker color (Fire Tiger) to deal with the muddy water the storm left behind.

The University of Louisiana - Lafayette (Cody McCrary and William Carstens) won a tiebreaker over the University of Oklahoma (Chip Porché and Matt Pangrac) to take second, the University of Iowa (John Haynes and Tyler Mehrl) finished in fourth and Mississippi State University (Cal Clark and Sam Lawrence) finished fifth.

Both anglers said it has been difficult getting the word around campus and coverage from the school newspaper, but it's hard to ignore a national championship.

"It's hard to convince a lot people who don't care about bass fishing that what we're doing is important to some people and maybe a lot more people than they think," Wiley said. "I think they'll write about us now."


SHE GOT ALL OF THAT ONE...LPGA pro Annika Sorenstam of Sweden tees off on a runway at Incheon international airport as she participates in the longest hit competition of the Sky 72 golf event on October 29, 2007 in Incheon.

(Photo by Chung Sung-Jun/Getty Images)


CRAZY CONTEST...Duke freshmen — from left, Michael Warady, Stephen Bergin, Chris Li and Zach Sheinman — were named the "best-dressed" Cameron Crazies before the Blue-White scrimmage at Cameron Indoor Stadium. The group receives two prizes — the first being a section of the floor from the 2001 Final Four in Minneapolis, where Duke won the NCAA title, which Bergin holds. (Too bad Duke could only afford one section of floor for the four dudes to split up.)

The second prize is a game date with Mickie Krzfmbnh7ski, who will sit with the freshmen during a game later this season. Mickie Krzygjbn4ski is the wife of Duke coach Mike Krzghbd2ski.

(Editor's note: Thank you, no.)

Wednesday, October 31, 2007


! Like the man said, "BOO!"

This kid, who now attends the University of Hawaii, is trying to transfer to the University of Cameron Crazies.

He'd fit right in, yes?



North Carolina will begin the 2007-2008 season as the #1 team in the seasons' first ESPN/USA Today coaches' poll. The Tar Heels eeked by #2 UCLA by just five votes ... and actually earned less first place votes [10 to 12] than the Bruins. Memphis, Kansas and Georgetown, who beat UNC in the Elite 8 last year, round out the top five.

Duke re-enters the poll at #11 after going unranked at the end of last season.

NC State comes in at #24. Clemson [#29], Virginia [#43] and Maryland [#52] also received votes.


!Fifteen minutes? How about a rock solid 48 hours.

From the New York Times:

Jonathan Wiener is a sophomore English major who enjoys William Faulkner novels. He is comfortable with bursts of words and long, descriptive paragraphs.

So when Wiener’s narrative skills were put to a test Saturday in a football broadcast booth, he was prepared. For a young man with broadcasting ambitions, it was the pop quiz from heaven.

“I can’t think of anything better in the world than watching football and talking about it,” Wiener, 20, said in a telephone interview yesterday. “It was only one of the most improbable plays in college football history.”

Wiener, a student at Trinity University in San Antonio, was the play-by-play announcer for the Division III college football game between Trinity and Millsaps College in Jackson, Miss. Now here's the rest of the story: Wiener, is from Jackson, and a Murrah High graduate who lives five minutes from Millsaps.

Go figure. "My childhood dream has always been to be on ESPN calling football games," said Wiener Monday. "So there it is."

He was part of a four-man crew with only one camera in a telecast seen live only over the Internet.


! OK, maybe not President, but vote for them for the Pontiac Game Changing Performance – they deserve it.

You must admit, with a play that brought back memories of the 1982 California-Stanford game, the Division III Trinity Tigers delivered one of the most unbelievable plays of the 2007 NCAA college football season. In fact, some might say the most unbelievable play ever…

Now it is up to you to determine if the Tigers earned the “Pontiac Game Changing Performance” for the ninth week of the 2007 NCAA Football Season. Go to and vote.

Voting ends at midnight on Wednesday. ESPN will announce this week’s “Pontiac Game Changing Performance” winner, on Thursday night, during the Pontiac Performance Halftime Report.

The winning university earns a $5,000 contribution from Pontiac to their general scholarship fund. Additionally, the winning play will be nominated for the “Pontiac Game Changing Performance of the Year” and the chance to win a $100,000 General Scholarship from Pontiac.


!Halloween seems like the appropriate time to once again point out the terminal ineptitude that is Duke football.

The last time Duke won an ACC regular season football game Syd Barrett was still alive.

It was November 13, 2004 – a 16-13 win over Clemson in front of a teeming throng of 24,718 at Wallace Wade Stadium in Durham.

Shame on you, Clemson.

Shame on you.

Mr. Anderson, check out:


! This dapper fellow attended the 1942 Rose Bowl which was played in Durham...Yes, we said "Rose Bowl."

When the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor in early December 1941, Duke was scheduled to play Oregon State January 1, 1942 in the Rose Bowl. Officials in Pasadena thought the game unsafe and were on schedule to cancel it. The folks from Durham stepped up and volunteered to host the game.

According to the Duke Archives: "The transplanted Rose Bowl game was played in Durham on January 1. Borrowed bleachers from the University of North Carolina and NC State boosted stadium capacity from 35,000 to 55,000 spectators. A flood of East Coast sportswriters descended upon Durham for their first Rose Bowl while only a single writer came from southern California. The heavily favored Duke team lost on a cold, rainy day to an underestimated defensive team that successfully protected an early lead. Coach Wade later stated he spent too much time being host and too little time preparing the team. He also gave the team several days off to go home for Christmas."

It's interesting to note -- and perhaps is it a classic display of "football indifference" -- the lengthy article about the transplanted 1942 Rose Bowl in the Duke Archives NEVER mentions the actual score of the game.

Don't be alarmed. Duke lost: 20-16.


!There’s desperation, and then there’s desperation. Let’s call this “internal desperation…”

Back in early October, according to the Duke Chroncile – chronicler of all things Duke:

“The football team has turned to the student body for a kicker. Unhappy with the Blue Devils' 20 percent field goal conversion rate, head coach Ted Roof invited several athletes not in season to showcase their kicking talents. The next day, The Chronicle ran an ad that extended the invitation to the entire student body. Game on…

We can dream of taking the field for a revenue team, but dreams can only take us so far. We know that we will never make a 40-foot runner to force overtime against North Carolina on ESPN2. We know that we will never elude tacklers and flip into the end zone for a touchdown. But kicking is different. How hard can kicking be?

The job is simple: jog, kick, stare and either celebrate or cry. It's like third-grade soccer…”

Evidently, pretty damn hard. The kid's "kick" in the picture above was "wide right." ...And that's in the Band Room with no wind.

Perhaps you recall that back in 1997, the Blue Devils were sued by Heather Sue Mercer when she was cut from the team in spite of her ability to consistently kick 43 yard field goals. The coach, who encouraged her to “try beauty pageants or something” (We bet that went over well in court), insisted that she be able consistently make 48 yarders. Mercer was awarded $1 in compensatory damages and $2 million in punitive damages!

Where is Mercer (center) and her 43 yard field goals now, when the Devils need her?

Tuesday, October 30, 2007


! Hey, they didn't always suck! They had Sonny Jurgensen. For his career at Duke, Jurgensen was 77 of 156 for 1,119 yards and six touchdowns. He also managed to rush for 243 yards on 99 carries and intercept 10 passes as a defensive back. He also helped lead the Blue Devils to a 34-7 victory over Nebraska in the 1955 Orange Bowl.

In 1957, he was drafted in the fourth round by the Philadelphia Eagles. He was eventually traded to Washington and ended up in the Pro-Football Hall of
Fame with over 32,000 passing yards.

The coach back then -- Bill Murray -- enjoyed a 15-year tenure in Durham producing one Southern Conference and seven ACC championships, three major bowl bids and a record of 93-51-9.

Like the Tar Heels, we believe the face masks screwed them up...

When the coeds could no longer see the players' faces becuase of the facemasks recruiting tailed off -- evidenced by these two Duke commitments from the early 1960's...


!HAPPY HALLOWEEN! An elephant is poised to crush a pumpkin with the face of Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger taped on it. Last week at the Cincinnati Zoo, a local television station put the photo on the pumpkin that was smashed along with several other pumpkins as part of a zoo Halloween promotion. It didn't work, the Steelers won anyway.

Trick or treat,

Smell our feet,
Give us something good to eat.

If you don't,
We don't care...

...We will smash the crap out of you with an elephant's foot?

Didn't anybody at that damn zoo have a picture of Mike Krzxbvgfndjs3ski?

(AP Photo/Al Behrman)

Monday, October 29, 2007


Practice for the Milsaps Majors must have really sucked today…

…and we mean REALLY sucked.

In an unprecedented finish that had more twists and turns than the surreal Cal-Stanford ending of 1982, Trinity University (Tigers, 2,487 students, San Antonio, TX) executed 15 laterals before scoring a touchdown at the final gun to clinch an improbable 28-24 win over Millsaps College Majors, 1,106 students, Jackson, MS).

History will show that Riley Curry rumbled 44 yards through the exhausted Millsaps special teams to score the game-winner for Trinity. But no one will ever forget the sheer zaniness of the Lateralapalooza, from beginning to end, as the winning score lasted 46 seconds in real time -- most likely an NCAA record (if such records are kept).

In all, seven different Tigers touched the ball amongst the 15 laterals. It was every bit the ending to the famous Cal-Stanford finish a quarter-century ago -- minus the Millsaps band running onto the field before the final whistle.

"I can't even explain it," Millsaps senior safety Ray Kline told The Clarion-Ledger. "I guess they wanted it more than we did on that last play."

Perfect, after one of the most spectacular finishes in the history of the game, a player explains the loss with a cliché.


Here's all the scoop and the video:



October 27, 2007
College Park Md.
Clemson Tigers v. Maryland Terrapins

Well the storm clouds broke and we had perfect fall weather for a college football tilt
. The tailgating experience is a little different in Prince Georges County. You may recall recent complaints about the coeds with cowboy boots down south. Well that look is highly preferable to the Jersey Girl/Goth look that seems to be popular around the Maryland campus. What’s up with these young chicks?

Consumption rates seemed
about the same. Our crowd was a mix of Terp/Tiger fans and went through the usual assortment of wings, chili, brats, and finger foods. Several cases of Bud Light and Rolling Rock were the featured libations although some of the younger kids contributed some Milwaukee’s Best Lite (which was the only beer left during clean-up). I also had to take a corrective action when I spied some of the under graduates going through the Makers Mark like it was water. The sweet scent of giggle weed was also much more pervasive in CP. No Zima was seen anywhere. Lastly, the Terp fans lived up to their reputation by stealing our table and tent during the game. Nice Terps….real nice!

Oh the Game…..Most fans in our crowd gave the Terps a puncher's chance if they could control the ball on offense and win the turn over battle. Neither happened. The teams traded field goals in the first quarter. After the Clemson score, the Terps were driving at about mid-field when
Coach Fridge decided to go for it on fourth and one. It was a highly questionable decision with the Terps injury depleted O-line, that backfired as the Tigers stuffed the run, and marched right down the field for the go-ahead touchdown. Clemson added another TD right before half to make it 20-3 to end the competitive portion of the game.

The second half featured a Maryland offense ill-prepared to play catch-up and the Tiger tandem running back combination of “Lightning and Thunder” utilizing their superior speed to turn it into a 30-3 rout that could have been much worse. (The Terps added 2 late and meaningless TDs.) The win keeps Clemson’s faint Championship hopes alive, and the loss leaves the Terps pondering a bowl-less post season.

Sunday, October 28, 2007


James Davis backed up his guarantee of a Clemson victory, running for 129 yards and a touchdown to lead the Tigers past mistake-prone Maryland 30-17 Saturday in the Ugly Uniform Bowl. Cullen Harper threw two touchdown passes to tie the single-season school record of 21.

Both teams need to seriously rethink the unis. The purple pants with the orange helmet has always been a bad look. Stick with the orange. Maryland’s black, yellow and red combo looks good most of the time, but the football jersey’s particular red just isn’t hitting the right notes. It’s a bit busy, but that seems to be the trend.

The Terps helmet? Dreadful. The cartoon writing "Terps" needs to go. Period.

Besides changing unis is a good way to get your program going. Look what the pointed and slanted new numbers on the Boston College jerseys has wrought. Of course, a uniform change hasn’t help Duke, but it’s probably asking a bit much to prevent college football’s annual perpetually doomed Titanic sinking swoon with mere textiles…Or is it?

Oh well, we can always make fun of Oregon State…Now that's a bad uni.


Kevin Marion returned a kickoff 98 yards for a touchdown, Josh Adams rushed for two scores and Wake Forest routed North Carolina 37-10 on Saturday.

Linebacker Aaron Curry returned one of his two interceptions 77 yards for a touchdown -- the Demon Deacons' ninth non-offensive TD of the season.

Riley Skinner completed 12 of 15 passes for 133 yards to help Wake Forest (6-2, 4-1 Atlantic Coast Conference) win its sixth straight and remain behind only unbeaten Boston College in the Atlantic Division race.

Speaking of "Woah Nellie!"

North Carolina State spent six weeks making Tom O'Brien's first season here look like a lost cause. Now the Wolfpack look like a confident team that thinks it can play with anybody.

Daniel Evans threw for a career-high 347 yards and three touchdowns, two to Donald Bowens, to lead the Wolfpack past Virginia (No. 15 BCS, No. 21 AP) 29-24 on Saturday. That gave NC State consecutive wins for the first time in a year while ending a nine-game Atlantic Coast Conference losing streak.

Preston Parker caught a touchdown pass and scored on an end around Saturday to help Florida State end a two-game losing streak with a 25-6 victory over Duke, handing the Blue Devils' their 22nd straight Atlantic Coast Conference loss.

After going more than five quarters without an offensive touchdown, the Seminoles made it to the end zone six minutes into the third quarter when Parker raced 9 yards with a short sideline pass from Drew Weatherford, giving Florida State a 16-0 lead.

Must have been the black uniforms.


Scott Riddle passed for three touchdowns and ran for a fourth to lead Elon to a 38-28 win over Chattanooga on Saturday.

Riddle stole the homecoming spotlight for the Phoenix (6-2 Southern Conference, 4-1), setting season records for most completions (254), passing yards (2,606) and touchdown passes (23). He has three more regular season games to add to his totals.

He went 36-51-1 in passing for 359 yards.

Ho hum...


SHOW ME THE MUDDY...Curlin, who won the Preakness last May, found his way over the sloppy track at Monmouth Park faster than the rest of the field to win the $5,000,000 Breeders Cup Classic Saturday evening. Curlin's connections won $3 million for his efforts.

Curlin got a nice bath and some peppermints.

(AP Photo/Mike Groll)


CHECK OUT THE MUD on Curlin's face...About $3 million worth.

(Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)


THE BREEDERS CUP addded three new races to the card, and the new events were held on Friday. It rained. Really hard.

Here MaryField (L) with jockey Elvis Trujillo aboard crosses finish line to win the Breeders' Cup Filly & Mare Sprint .

Oprah Winney is back there somewhere covered in mud...

(Timoth A. Clary/Getty Images)


IN SOME LANGUAGE "NITTANY" means "really messy." Alvin Peachy, background left, and Sam Estright clean up fields used for parking and tailgating in the shadow of the Penn State Nittany Lions' Beaver stadium. Penn State lost to top-ranked Ohio State, 37-17, on Saturday.

Doesn't look like that curtailed the party much...
Is it just us, or does it look like the stadium is in a cow pasture?

(AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)


A ROOM WITH A VIEW...A general view of the Virginia Cavaliers versus North Carolina State Wolfpack game at Carter-Finley Stadium October 27, 2007 in Raleigh, North Carolina.

(Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)


A SEA OF RED...If you were unsure where the NCSU v. UVa games was played, this shot of Daniel Evans of the Wolfpack makes it pretty clear.

(Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)

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