Thursday, September 13, 2007

NO NEW TAH UNTIL 9/24

The entire staff of TAH is heading to Ireland. Unfortuantley, they don't have high speed internet just yet. There are two guys in a pub talking about it over a pint (or 2/3/4/5/6/7/8), so it is expected to be up and running by 2041.

Instead, we will be here, here and over there.























WEB PAGE OF THE WEEK

Tonight, WVU comes to Maryland and that gives us pause to honor one of our favorite college sports web sites. www.WeMustIgniteThisCouch.com. It isn't all about torching the love seat, but it's full of good stuff.

Of course, our boys over in the Free State have been know to get a little loose with the sterno as well, and the Washington Post offers up some alternatives to couch ignition in this article.

PICTURE OF THE DAY

APPARENTLY, THERE IS A RIVALRY BETWEEN OUR ACC DARLINGS, MARYLAND, AND BIG EAST JUGGERNAUT, WVU...Just guessing...

Beautiful. Yes?

(Photo courtesy of WeMustIgniteThisCouch.com)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 2

ACCORDING TO THE PROGRAM, Noel Devine, a freshman running back from Ft. Meyer, FL is 5'8" tall. According to the same program, Wes Lyons, a wide reciever from North Braddock, PA is 6'8" tall. It appears that the program is correct.

(Photo courtesy of WeMustIgniteThisCouch.com)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 3

HMMM…How about a YOU WRITE THE CAPTION CONTEST? Write your own caption, and post it here. The winner gets a free subscription to TAH, and a small piece of petrified horse poop from Ireland. OK, maybe a beer at Molly’s

(Photo courtesy of WeMustIgniteThisCouch.com)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 4

GREAT SCHOOL SPIRIT…As always, a capacity crowd showed up first thing this morning at Mountaineer Field to get “ready” for tonights big game with neighbor rival Maryland.

Umm...fellas, the game is AT Maryland. Good try, though. Even got the band up early!

(Photo courtesy of WeMustIgniteThisCouch.com)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 5

NOW, THAT'S NOT NICE...funny, but not nice.

(Photo courtesy of WeMustIgniteThisCouch.com)

Monday, September 10, 2007

GAME OF THE WEEK: TECH v. LSU




by JOHN CLARK - TAH Special Correspondent.


At least LSU was a good host, parachuting in 3 guys with one carrying a VT flag, and, for the first time in its 114 year history, the LSU marching band played the opposition's alma mater. Unfortunately for VT, that was the end of anything positive for the Hokies, and the game hadn't even started yet.

As I'm sitting on my porch enjoying a tasty heater, here's a transcript of an actual phone conversation between your humble
correspondent and our very own Sexy Rexy Cooper after LSU's first TD:

Me: "Uh, Sexy, VT is going to get crushed tonight."
Sexy: "C'mon, man, there's still 10:55 left in the FIRST QUARTER....oops, no, you're right."
Me: "Why?"
Sexy: "LSU just gained 50 yards on one play."
Me: "Ouch."

(Editor’s Note: For the second week in a row, our correspondent has yet again revealed that he wasn’t actually watching the game!)

Ouch is right, people of TAH. In the most lopsided loss since Beamer took the VT job in 1987, LSU was up 24-0 after the first 18 minutes. Tech was outgained 327 - 40 yards in the first half. In fact, VT didn't score until 4:38 was left in the third quarter, but anyone watching knew that no momentum shifted when they did score.

LSU's starting QB, Matt Flynn, led LSU to scores on four of its first five possessions. Not needing Mr. Flynn anymore, backup QB Ryan Perrilloux entered the game and put up 2 passing TDs. And the second one was to a freshman. Ouch.

LSU's sophomore RB, Keiland Williams, ran for 127 yards and 2 TDs. On SEVEN carries. That's an average of 18.1 yards per carry, folks. 18.1. Ouch. Where was VT's heralded D?

There is literally nothing to write that is positive for VT. This was complete domination. When recaps use phrases like "hapless Hokies" and "overwhelming performance," your team just didn't have a good night. VT only had 149 yards of total offense, a number that LSU doubled in the air alone. Is VT that bad, or is LSU that good? I think it is a combination of VT being overrated and LSU just being that good.

I'll hand it over to Coach Beamer now: "They really took it to us." No S!@&, Coach Beamer, No S!@&.

The ACC isn't looking so good so far this year. But let's move on.

Next week, break out your bow ties and your Zima: even though the best game will probably be GT v. BC, I'm going with UVA v. UNC. That game has more interest in our particular geographic area, and I don't want the Editor to have to write up the UNC game if they lose--he might have to find somewhere else to sleep.

HOKIES LOSE NCEG

The ACC had a chance yesterday to show their pigskin metal, but they failed to deliver. Miami got crushed by Okalhoma, and the Hokies got run off the field by LSU. Unfortunately, the Hokies lost the first National Championship Elimination Game (NCEG), and in doing so they proved two things: 1) they’re not as good as everybody thought and 2) LSU is as good, if not better, than everybody thought. The Hokies should have been warned by the simple fact that ECU, at home, needed a last second field goal to scrape by North Carolina. So the Pirates aren’t as good as Hokie Nation had hoped, and LSU is as good as they feared. Oklahoma made Miami look slow, and that’s just plain scary. Both former Big East stalwarts were in good company as Saturday was the first time since 1979 that football powerhouses Miami, Georgia, Notre Dame and Michigan all lost on the same day.

THE WEEK IN REVIEW
WAKE FOREST
– Late interception prevents #16 Nebraska from losing to the Deacons. Wake spent a fair amount of time in the red zone, but failed to capitalize. This was a game they could have, and should have, won. "Sometimes you're going to have to come away with a character win, and we did that today," Corhusker QB Sam Keller said. "Somebody had to step up, and we did. … You come into the defending ACC champions' house and take one from them -- that's big time." Really now?

VIRGINIA v. DUKE – Obviously, the Commonwealth has a dearth of opportunities to spend one’s entertainment time and money as 58,554 citizens of our fair state turned out for this stinker. Somehow, Al Groh managed to stretch his skin back over his dilapidated skelton as the Hoos cranked up over 325 yards of offense. Duke hasn’t won a game since Brittney Spears had a hit song (or so it seems).

OKLAHOMA v. MIAMI – Be afraid, be very afraid of the Sooners. Not only did they demolish the Canes, they did so by throwing FIVE touchdown passes. We didn’t think Oklahoma was allowed to pass…Doesn’t the Big 12 have a rule against that?

CLEMSON v. ULM -- Speaking of five touchdowns, Cullen Harper pitched a Cinco de Septembre for a school record in an easy win over Louisana – Monroe (Warhawks, 8,146 students, Monroe, LA)

BOSTON COLLEGE v. N.C. STATE -- Tom O'Brien's players gave Boston College another victory Saturday. Only this time he was coaching the other team. The winningest coach in Eagles history watched his new North Carolina State team turn the ball over seven times…Ouch.

GEORGIA TECH v. SAMFORD – The Jackets did it the old fashioned way…NINE rushing touchdowns. Samford: Bulldogs, 2,588 students, Homewood, Alabama – in case you were wondering.

FLORIDA STATE v. UAB – Speaking of not very good…FSU was losing this game in the second quarter to the Blazers (14,114 students, Birmingham, AL)…Ultimately, Drew Weatherford threw for 332 yards and three touchdowns as the Noles rallied from the early deficit. Just the same Seminole Nation still hates him, and blames him for every loss since 1989.

MARYLAND v. FIU – Oh yes, the fighting Golden Panthers…and we do mean fighting. Alas, there were no fisticuffs as Keon Lattimore ran for 111 yards and Coach Fridge ate 46 Twinkies at half-time as Maryland held off pesky Florida International (31,000 students, University Park, FL).

UNC SUSPENDS RUGBY TEAM

The University of North Carolina has indefinitely suspended the men’s rugby team from participating in team-related events because members have been accused of unlawful acts of hazing, club actions that violate the university's alcohol policy and misrepresentation of the university and club locally and abroad, the school confirmed Thursday. The team is a club team, not a varsity sport.

Team President Rufaro Sikipa told The Daily Tar Heel: "There's absolutely no hazing with initiation into or continued membership of UNC rugby.” (He lied). He told the DTH the team does not condone underage drinking. (He lied again) The team is suspended from practicing, playing games and using university facilities under the team name.

Winston Crisp, assistant vice chancellor for student affairs, and Jason Halsey, director of sports clubs, met Tuesday with the team of about 50 players to discuss the allegations and the suspension. Senior Jose Estrada told the DTH, " As a team, we were just incredibly upset with what we'd been told, especially the indefinite suspension," Estrada said. "We just want to play rugby (and haze new members, and drink).”

THE GREAT WALL OF BRONCO

Obviously, the bye week did not negatively effect the #1 ranked Fauquier Pee Wee Broncos. The Broncos crushed the Cavaliers 70-14 or 77 to 7 (depending on who you ask) in their second regular season game on Saturday. The Cavaliers played as bad as their woeful namesakes, the University of Virginia Boo-Hoos (as in boo-hoo, we suck again!)

The Broncos offense was unstoppable as they scored on their first five plays. The Cavs never got the ball out of their own backfield the entire first half. We aren’t sure if that was due to the Broncos suffocating defense or their own inability to figure out which way to run. Part of the problem could have been that the two teams' unis (one red, one dark orange) made them hard to tell apart. This problem, however, did not seem to impede the Broncos in any way.

No doubt Sports Illustrated Kids magazine, and the Five- and Six-Year-Old Pee Wee/Instructional Football League National Championship Series Poll (56PWIFLNCS) will again have the mighty Broncos in the top spot.

Way to go, Broncos.

THE RIDDLE WATCH

In his second collegiate start, Scott Riddle passed for a career-high 362 yards and three touchdowns and Elon exploded for 42 second-half points, propelling the Phoenix to a 59-16 victory over West Virginia Wesleyan Saturday evening at Rhodes Stadium.

Elon’s 59-point outburst marked the program’s most since the Phoenix posted a 59-0 triumph at Morehead State on Oct. 3, 1998. Elon (1-1) last broke the 60-point plateau with a 63-13 home win over Lenoir-Rhyne on August 30, 1997.

Riddle’s 362 aerial yards in three quarters fell just shy of Heath Hewett’s program-record 386 passing yards against Catawba in 1990.

Riddle completed 23 of his 34 passes (.676) while surrendering one interception and two sacks.


Officials at Elon promised to turn the lights up just a little brighter for the next game.

PICTURE OF THE DAY

TURN LEFT, TURN LEFT, TURN LEFT...no, I mean timeout, timeout, timeout. Washington Redskins head coach Joe Gibbs calls for a timeout on the game winning drive in overtime against the Miami Dolphins at FedEx Field. The Redskins defeated the Dolphins 16-13.

(Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 2

DEAR MR. SNYDER: Am I imagining things or did Andre Carter tackle Dolphin QB Trent Green behind the line of scrimmage in the FIRST HALF? Isn't that called a SACK? If I'm not mistaken, we had TWO of 'em. And...this is really hard to believe...we had a TURNOVER. We only had 12 of those (a new modern record for futility) all LAST year. If Freddy Smoot (who we love) could CATCH, the Skins would have had TWO turnovers and all the overtime business would have been unnecessary. HELL, Freddy may have even organized a little BOAT ride!Congrats on a NICE win. Nice, Mr. Snyder, NICE! -- A Loyal Fan.

(By Preston Keres -- The Washington Post)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 3

FIRST GAME, HORRIBLE CALL. Trailing the Bears in the third quarter, the Chargers were about to score a touchdown when the zebras all blinked at the same time. One of the Bears defensive lineman jumped the snap, caused the Chargers to fumble said snap, and the Bears recovered. The Bear in question was clearly in the neutral zone when the ball was snapped...you can't break up the exchange between the center and the QB and not be in the neutral zone. The refs were having none of it even when Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers, left, and coach Norv Turner, right, tried to point out the obvious blown call to side judge Jeff Lamberth on the Jumbotron. The Chargers won anyway...

(AP Photo/Denis Poroy)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 4

HEY, HONEY I'M HOME WITH A COOL NEW TROPHY FOR THE FAMILY ROOM...Jimmie Johnson, winner of the Chevy Rock & Roll 400 NASCR Nextel Cup auto race, poses with the trophy at Richmond International Raceway in Richmond, Va., Saturday, Sept. 8, 2007.

(AP Photo/Wayne Scarberry)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 5

LIGHT IT UP. The 2007 FIFA Women's World Cup football tournament Group A match at the Hongkou Stadium in Shanghai, 10 September 2007.

(Photo credit MARK RALSTON/AFP/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 6

YOU GO, GIRL! Oprah Winney (not kidding) ridden by jockey Garrett Gomez wins the Schenectady Stakes at Belmont Park in New York on Sunday, Sept. 9, 2007.

(AP Photo/New York Racing Association, Adam Coglianese)

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