Saturday, September 1, 2007


Before the new ACC season gets started check out Gary Blackwell's new cartoon...

Happy football!

Thursday, August 30, 2007


From today’s Richmond Times Dispatch:

“The toll in the April 16 massacre at Virginia Tech could have been lessened if authorities had canceled classes and promptly alerted students that a killer was on the loose, a panel appointed by Gov. Timothy M. Kaine says.

"But none of these measures would likely have averted a mass shooting altogether," a report released late Wednesday night on the governor's Web site concedes.”

We won’t bog you down in all the details, but let’s just hope this “water under the bridge” report is utilized for its best purpose – to guide future administrators in the face of potential tragedy. As we said before, like 911, the authorities and administrators at Tech were faced by a circumstance they literally never dreamed possible.

We doubt anybody gets something so horrible right the first time…


If you are really lookin’ to get your Hokie groove on, there’s a concertn Thursday, September 6, 2007, 6:00 p.m. at Lane Stadium.

This from the Hokie website:

Join us for a special evening as we, together with Virginia's own Dave Matthews Band, John Mayer, Phil Vassar, and Nas, enjoy A Concert for Virginia Tech.

The concert is being offered by these inspired musicians as a gracious gift to the Virginia Tech community. It’s about a celebration of spirit. It’s about showing the resiliency and strength of our community known throughout the world as Hokie Spirit.

On September 6th, we’ll celebrate the Hokie Spirit and the university community.

We are Virginia Tech.

The "Concert for Virginia Tech" will have an impact on classes that evening. As of now, the Provost's office plans to cancel classes beginning at 5 p.m. so that all faculty, staff, and students may attend the concert if they wish.

There was a little bit of concern in a Roanoke Times’ editorial this morning about the appropriatness of Nas’ lyrics. Let’s hope for the best.


Bring some Kleenex, this is going to be intense… heck, just reading about it is intense…

By Mark Schlabach – Yahoo (edited)

Virginia Tech will honor the 32 victims of April's horrific campus shooting during a 20-minute ceremony before Saturday's football opener against East Carolina at Lane Stadium.

After months of discussions with other campus leaders, Hokies athletic director Jim Weaver said the school settled on a ceremony that will honor the 32 students and faculty killed by a lone gunman in the deadliest shooting spree in U.S. history. The school also will honor the victims' families, those wounded and the first responders.

"We wanted to make sure we recognize them," Weaver said. "We will never forget."

After the teams warm up and leave the field around 11:45 a.m. Saturday, the school's Corps of Cadets will march onto the field, which is a tradition for the first home game. Then two school bands -- the Highty-Tighties (the Corps' band) and the Marching Virginians -- will perform, followed by a moment of silence and the national anthem.

East Carolina chancellor Steve Ballard and athletic director Terry Holland will present Virginia Tech officials with a $100,000 donation to the Hokie Spirit Memorial Fund. ACC commissioner John Swofford also will be recognized for the league's earlier donation of $300,000. Virginia Tech president Charles Steger and Virginia governor Tim Kaine then will recognize the first responders at the 50-yard line.

In what will certainly be the most emotional moment of the pregame ceremony, a tribute video of the victims will be shown on the video screens on the scoreboard in Lane Stadium. Afterward, 32 balloons will be released above the stadium to honor the deceased.

"I think it's going to be as emotional of a game day as I've seen in my 10 years here," Weaver said. "I say that because the Hokie constituencies are a very caring people and they feel very badly about what happened on April 16, losing 32 of our own."

After the school's fight song, "Tech Triumph," is played by the bands, both teams will run onto the field at the same time. The Pirates will run through a tunnel created by the Corps of Cadets. After the coin toss, the team's head coaches and seniors will shake hands at midfield. Weaver said the Hokies want to thank East Carolina for its generosity and aid after the shootings.

Weaver also has taken steps to ensure that the Pirates and future opponents are welcomed to Lane Stadium with a warm ovation. Weaver sent a letter to Virginia Tech season-ticket holders and an e-mail to faculty, staff and students, in which he asked them to refrain from booing opposing teams this season.

"With the kind of outpouring of love and concern we were shown, it would be very unsettling if you had a booing situation when an opponent came into Lane Stadium," Weaver said. "We don't want that to ever happen again."

"We're not trying to get them to lose their intensity for the game, but we want them to always show respect for the opponent," Weaver said.

Weaver also said each of Virginia Tech's 21 athletic teams will wear a patch with the Virginia Tech logo and a ribbon this season. Each of the teams at the ACC's other 11 schools will wear a black bar on their uniforms.


THE LONGEST JOURNEY STARTS WITH THE SMALLEST STEPS. The University of North Carolina Athletics Department sent out an email yesterday announcing that the Tar Heels’ opener against JMU was SOLD OUT.



I HAVE A WIDE STANCE, HONESTLY! Senator Larry Craig (R-Idaho) explains to the Idaho National Ruby Club members why he pleaded guilty to soliciting homosexual sex in a men's room in Minnesota. The "Potato Buds" (or just "Buds" for short,) weren't amused.

(AP Photo/Michel Spingler)


POSH IS GONNA BE in angry, not drunk. Well, she may be that too 'cuase it looks like the meal ticket is broken. Los Angeles Galaxy's David Beckham sits on the bench with his knee bandaged after an injury against C.F. Pachuca during the first half of the SuperLiga final soccer game at the Home Depot Center, Wednesday, Aug. 29, 2007, in Carson, Calif.

(AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian)


AND THE WINNER IS...We would never leave you hanging after that Air Guitar runner-up teaser…Here is the man, Andrew "William Ocean" Litz.

And here's the video:


WE WANT TO PARTY WITH WINNIE! From England's Daily Mail: Winne Langley celebrated her 100th birthday the best way she knows how - smoking. The iron-lunged pensioner celebrated her 100th birthday by lighting up her 170,000th cigerette from a candle on her birthday cake.

Winnie Langley started smoking only days after the First World War broke out in June 1914 when she was just seven-years-old - and has got through five a day ever since.

She has no intention of quitting, even after the nationwide ban forced tobacco-lovers outside.

Speaking at her 100th birthday party Winnie said: "I have smoked ever since infant school and I have never thought about quitting. There were not all the the health warnings like there are today when I started. It was the done thing."

Winnie, from Croydon, South London, claims tobacco has never made her ill. She has outlived a husband, Robert, and son, Donald, who died two years ago aged 72.

The former launderette worker said she started the habit in 1914 - just weeks after the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand in Sarajevo on June 28 - which sparked the First World War. The 100-year-old, who is awaiting her telegram from the Queen today, said smoking helped calm her nerves during the two World Wars.

Despite the numerous health warnings, Mrs Langley insists she's never suffered because of the habit as she "has never inhaled".

We didn't make ANY of that up. Is she somehow related to Slick Willie Clinton?

Tuesday, August 28, 2007


The 18-year-old beauty contestant who mesmerized the nation with her verbal "brilliance" at the Miss Teen USA pageant over the weekend originally entered the realm of beauty pageants to improve her personal communication skills, according to World Net Daily.

Lauren Caitlin Upton of Lexington, S.C., shown in this undated modeling photo, has become a national sensation after her grammatically challenged response to a question at the Miss Teen USA pageant in Pasadena, Calif., Aug. 24, 2007 (photo courtesy Locke Management)

(Just in case you missed it:

"I was never much of a pageant girl," Upton said in an interview published just hours before Friday's competition. "When I first started pageants, I wanted to build up my communication skills for interviews for college and for jobs. I was determined to prove I was able to accomplish anything I put my mind to."

According to Upton, "I didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't expecting [the question]. I lost my train of thought."

Miss South Carolina Teen USA says she graduated with a 3.5 grade-point average from Lexington High School in June, and was a varsity athlete and student leader. "I just want people to know that I'm an average teenage girl, living life to the fullest, learning from my mistakes and living life in a positive way, and that is all I can ask for."

(Wow, is that “pageant speak” or what? She really has improved her communication skills.)

While millions have seen her clip on the Internet and television, Upton said she's not interested in taking a gander. "I don't really want to hear myself," she laughingly told her local newspaper.

Andrew Levy, the ombudsman for the Fox News Channel's overnight show "Red Eye" sarcastically noted, "Whitney Houston says she no longer believes the children are our future."

Upton will get another chance at answering questions in the morning as she's slated to appear on NBC's "Today Show."

Upton is considering scholarship offers from Clemson, Florida State, Maryland, Miami and Virginia Tech.

Duke isn't interested as she clearly isn't foresightful.


Yesterday in Richmond, Michael Vick pleaded guilty. His sentencing hearing is scheduled for December 10th.

What we learned yesterday: Mr. Vick has a fiancee. Our guess is she is way pissed off. Hmmm...jail and an angry woman. Nice, Mike, NICE!

Here's what Mike Wilbon and Mike Wise had to say in today's Post. Both nice pieces.

Wilbon - It was good to hear Vick apologize unconditionally, for not just what he did but what he facilitated. It was good to see the same man who has presumed all along he was bulletproof and completely outside the law show what appeared to be actually humility. I didn't think Michael Vick had that kind of performance left in him, to be quite honest.

Wise -
Ookie was gone. The alter ego of Bad Newz Kennels, the brutal benefactor who perpetrated animal cruelty, disappeared before a phalanx of cameras and microphones. On the day he pleaded guilty to a dogfighting conspiracy charge, an ashen-faced Michael Vick, his eyes moist, stood before a no-nonsense judge in a mahogany-walled Virginia courtroom.

"Guilty," he said, solemnly.

The cocksure, blinging Pro Bowler who once boasted of his impending exoneration was nowhere to be found. Along with the diamond-stud earrings. The scully. The cornrows.


According to Rachel Carter of the Raleigh News-Observer in an article titled Pirates Face Early Challenge (Duh!) (OK, we added the duh…) there is actually some upside to ECU playing the Hokies on Saturday.

“Yes, Saturday's game at Virginia Tech has positives for East Carolina.

National television exposure, an immediate test of the squad's abilities and a spot in history.”

To read the rest of this nonsense:
However, we don’t think the Pirates’sophomore quarterback Rob Kass is quite as positive about Saturday’s big game. Kass was arrested over the weekend on charges of driving while impaired after he was stopped at a police checkpoint several miles from the university's main campus.

Kass, 20, is projected as ECU's starting quarterback as the Pirates head into Saturday's season-opener at No. 5 Virginia Tech. ECU coach Skip Holtz said "I've visited with Rob, but at this point I'm not ready to address it publicly. When I am ready to address it publicly, I will."

Kass, a native of Longwood, Fla., was arrested at 1:28 a.m. Saturday blowing a .19.

Call it pre-game stress, and rightfully so...


In a statement released recently, Duke President Richard Brodhead announced that he had reappointed Joe Alleva as director of Athletics.

Alleva was retained in light of an extensive report generated this summer by a nine-person review committee comprised of Trustees, alumni and faculty and, in spite of, the horrific mess he helped make of the Duke Lacrosse scandal. For some reason, the Duke Chronicle felt compelled to tell us that this committee of suck-ups was chaired by Trustee Emeritus Harold Yoh, Engineering '58.

According to the Chronicle, over 150 people commented to the committee on Alleva's job performance, said John Burness, vice president for public affairs and student relations. (Something tell us Mike Pressler wasn’t one of the 150…)

Brodhead said "the emphasis on the integrity that [Alleva] has infused in our programs and the central place he gives to the idea of scholar-athletes" was the key factor in granting the director of athletics the five-year extension afforded by the reappointment.


Alleva has been a member of the Department of Athletics since 1980 . What he said: "I am excited and honored to be reappointed as the director of this outstanding athletic department," Alleva said in a statement. "We have made tremendous progress over the past nine years and there is much more to do."

What he meant: "It's a freakin miracle I still have a job."

In Alleva's tenure, Duke has won six national championships, 44 ACC championships and has produced 147 All-Americans. Yet there have been several highly publicized issues that affected the department profoundly, from a steroid scandal in 2005 to the circumstances surrounding the lacrosse case.

"The situation of college athletics is changing rapidly and in challenging ways," Brodhead said. "We want to be foresightful in being prepared for these changes. Besides, who really gives a s&%# about Mike Pressler?"

Yes, he actually said “foresightful.”


GOING, GOING, GONE. Winner, winner, chicken dinner...According to the Associated Press, Dalton Carriker couldn't feel his legs as he rounded the bases. His home run in the bottom of the eighth inning had just given Warner Robins, Ga., a thrilling 3-2 victory over Japan and the Little League World Series championship. "I felt like I was flying, like Peter Pan," Carriker said. "I didn't know what I was doing."
Adrenaline took over from there, said the 12-year-old slugger with braces, whose dramatic homer over the rightfield wall on Junsho Kiuchi's 2-and-1 pitch gave the United States a third straight title.

(Photo: Damian Strohmeyer/SI)


AND WE THOUGHT THE NATIONALS WILY MO PENA HAD A BAD NAME...Coco Crisp, who was run over by the Mariner Moose a couple of weeks ago, still hasn't gotten over the incident. Yes, the Boston Red Sox center fielder goes by "Coco." This should come as no surprise as his real name is Covelli Loyce Crisp.

Those Crisp, they're funny.

(AP photo via


SOMEHOW THIS GUY, Ryan "Stryker" Strecker, lost in the US Air Guitar National Finals recently. . Andrew "William Ocean" Litz went on to win and will represent the United States at the Air Guitar World Championship in Olou, Finland in September.

We're diggin' the cutoffs, man.

(AP Photo via

Monday, August 27, 2007


In a poll released early Monday morning by Sports Illustrated Kids magazine, the Fauquier 5-6 Pee Wee Broncos are the number one team in the Five- and Six-Year-Old Pee Wee/Instructional Football League National Championship Series Poll (56PWIFLNCS). The Broncos received both votes for the coveted top spot. ESPN and the AP polls both also placed the Broncos at the top of the heap.

Bronco head coach Chris Pearson attributed his team’s lofty national status to “talent and Toly Hansbrough.” Hansbrough (pictured right with Jack "Atwater"), the highly recruited basketball player who has already signed a letter of intent to attend the University of North Carolina for the fall of 2020, is an impact player mostly off the field.

“Toly has mad skills,” said Pearson, “but it’s not what he does on the field (which is mostly stand around and stare into space when he isn’t trash talking some kid twice his size), it’s more about his leadership and what he does off the field.”

According to Pearson, the Broncos, who defeated the Steelers 5 touchdowns to 3 in Saturday’s opener, rely on Toly’s Rocknesque motivation techniques. “The way he sits on the sidelines and throws dirt at his teammates – you can’t teach that, that’s God given talent.”

Late in the game, with the Broncos tiring and the Steelers attempting to rally, Toly motivated his teams’ final goal line stand by turning his back to them while perfecting the art of standing on his helment on one foot.

“That subtle helmet move late in the game?” Pearson said, “Pure genius. That iced it.”


Two local golfers, stalwarts of the Hack Berry Creek Country Club, shot career rounds over the weekend. Dirt Callahan (previously a 7 handicap) lit up the course with a tidy little 72. While winning his match 6/5, Dirt bogeyed the last hole when a tree limb attacked his second shot after a drive that had drifted ever so slightly right. He recovered to make bogey and post his career best 72. Well done Mr. Dirt.

Dirt celebrated with whiskey and a cigar.

On Sunday, local barrister and PGA rules expert, T. Huntley Thorpe (previously a 14) attacked the links at Hackberry, and wrestled them to the ground for a career-best 76. Evidently, THT3 (who is neither drunk nor Irish as it appears in the photo at right) could do little wrong. According to one of his two-man match play opponents, FSU’s own John Clark, “THT was on fire--things like making a 40' putt on 11 for a birdie, etc. And, knowing he was on the cusp of personal greatness, he parred out 17 and 18 to shoot 76. It was an impressive thing to behold, even though I did get my ass kicked.”

Rumor has it that THT3 celebrated with 1/2 gallon of ice cream.

In other golf news, Steve Stricker won his first pro event in 11 years. He earned $1.26 million for winning the Barclays, and he cried. If we won $1.26 million, we’d cry too. Way to go Steve!


In an incredible shock, The NFL suspended Michael Vick indefinitely after Vick pleaded guilty to charges related to dog fighting. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell in a letter to the Grandmaster Dogfighter, said, “Dear Mr. Vick: Sit. Stay. Roll over, and, most importantly, play dead. xoxoxo, Roger.”

In response, Vick's stable of attorney's released a statement saying, "Mr. Vick believes O.J. is innocent."

And so, with that in mind, TAH went shopping. Of course, on eBay one can buy Michael Vick jersey's and bubble gum cards that have been chewed by various canine's. Here is our favorite item which features Lucy (pictured).

Lucy has been a loyal Falcons fan since she was a pup growing up in Georgia. Mere barks could not express how disappointed Lucy is in Michael Vick's behavior against his team and members of her canine kind.

You should have seen the gleam in her eyes when I told her she could chew up some number seven jerseys! From what I can tell, it made her feel a little bit better.

Proceeds from this auction will go to our local Humane Society and toward helping Lucy cope with another troubling season rooting for the Falcons, which will be hard to endure since Eddie, our cat, likes the Panthers.

The winner of this auction will get the black Michael Vick Jersey pictured in this auction as well as a cd with all the photos of Lucy tearing up this jersey and a red one too.


PORTLAND WET SOX? The Portland Beavers are looking for a new name, and you, the loyal fan, can help. There are a variety of options, but we like Wet Sox for all the obvious reasons.


IT’S A WEIRD WORLD AFTERALL...IT’S A WEIRD WORD AFTERALL...IT’S A WEIRD WEIRD WORLD…It's time for TAH to go international, so we are working on our translation skills. Here is what Yahoo Sports France had to say about the photo at left: Philippe Lucas, l'ancien entraîneur de Laure Manaudou, qui a retrouvé lundi matin la piscine de Canet-en-Roussillon, s'est refusé à tout commentaire concernant son ancienne protégée estimant que "ça ne sert à rien". Article lié

Here is TAH's translation:
Philippe Lucas, the former trainer of Laure Manaudou, which found Monday morning the swimming pool of Canet-in-Roussillon, refused with any comment concerning its old protected estimating that "that is not used for nothing". Dependent article.

Not bad, eh? (that's Canadian.)


GOOD SEATS ARE STILL AVAILABLE. Unlike basketball where legions of fans will turn out for early season games against non-conference Sisters of the Poor, football is a different game. Officials at the University of Colorado recently learned this the hard way when absolutely no one showed up for the game that pitted University of Colorado Bisons against the Eastern Northwest Southern Colorado State A&M School of Mining and Ski Patrol Hippie Dudes.

(AP Photo/Jack Dempsey)


KICK HIM WHEN HE'S DOWN, OR, BETTER YET, BITE HIM. Of course, if you are gonna sell chewed up stuff on eBay, there has to be Michael Vick merchandise...oh, there is. Here is one source.
WHO WE ARE:Bay Area Dog Lovers Responsible About Pitt Bulls We're a small and busy non-profit organization of pit bull owners, rescuers, and supporters. 'BAD RAP' evolved out of a desire to respond to the difficult issues facing this misunderstood breed. Our common bond has resulted in a unique and lively community of folks who share some of the qualities of our favorite dogs: fun loving, devoted, spirited and tenacious! For More Info on our Mission: BAD RAP's Programs

Sunday, August 26, 2007


THANK YOU, SOUTH CAROLINA. We assume the educational system in South Carolina is up to snuff, but here is a short clip from the 2007 Miss Teen USA contest that will make you wonder. It wasn't Lauren Caitlin Upton's best effort...

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