TODAY'S ACC HEADLINES: 6/17/07

Friday, June 22, 2007

SWOFFORD HOLDS PACMAN PRESS CONFERENCE

ACC Commissioner John Swofford held a press conference today at the league’s Charlotte headquarters for the sole purpose of reminding the media that recently arrested in Las Vegas, currently sought by police in Atlanta, and suspended from the NFL for one year Tennessee Titan defensive back Adam “PacMan” Jones did not attend an ACC school.

“I just want to remind all of you in the media one more time that PacMan did not, I repeat – did not, attend any one of our fine institutions,” said Swofford. “He attended West “By God” Virginia University, and we have never so much as even though about inviting that Big East school to join the ACC for a variety of reasons. I just want to be clear.”

Swofford then told media outlets that he would hold another press conference again next week to again remind everyone that PacMan did not attend Virginia Tech, Miami, Maryland, Florida State or Clemson even though "it might seem that he did."

PacMan surrendered to police for arrest and was released on $20,000 bail early today on felony charges stemming from a strip club melee that preceded a triple shooting. If convicted, Jones faces a maximum of 12 years in prison and a $10,000 fine.

The charges in Las Vegas have cast more doubt on Jones' playing status with the Titans. Since he was drafted in April 2005, he has been arrested six times -- although he has not been convicted of any crimes.

Jones has been involved in at least 11 separate police investigations, authorities say, and is currently sought by Atlanta-area police for questioning in a shooting early Monday after a fight at a strip club there. The news stories following the incident said “members of PacMan Jones’ entourage” were being sought, but that Jones was not with them when the alleged incident occurred.

(Editor's Note: Here are our questions: If PacMan wasn’t with his entourage, how did they know it was his entourage? Do they wear some article of clothing or jewelry that says “PacMan’s Entourage: Back The F*** Off”? Secondly, why is Jones still being “sought” by the Atlanta police? Hell, even we know where he is…Yesterday he was in Las Vegas, when he left his attorney told the media he was going to Nashville.

Helloooo? CSI-Warrenton cracks the PacMan location case by using a little know investigation technique called "reading the newspaper.")

UNC BACK IN COLLEGE WORLD SERIES

(AP) North Carolina powered its way back to the College World Series finals.

After hitting just one home run in their first 13 postseason games, the Tar Heels lit up Rice for four long balls in a 7-4 victory Thursday night.

North Carolina staved off elimination for three straight games, beating Rice twice in two days to win the bracket.

The Tar Heels will play defending champion Oregon State in only the second finals rematch in the CWS' 61-year history. It is the first since Arizona State and Southern California met in 1972 and 1973. The best-of-three series starts Saturday.

(Editor’s Note: Checking…Checking again…Confirmed, nobody really cares.)

FRIDAYS WITH PRESSLER

An open letter from Mike Pressler to the President and Athletic Director of Duke University:

Dear President Dickhead, er um, sorry, I mean't Broadhead and Mr. Alleva:

No doubt after the disbarment of Mr. Nifong, you continue to follow sports/crime news. I’m entirely confident that two well educated fellas like you have been keeping track of the Michael Vick situation.

You see Mr. Vick has been taking a BEATING in the media for some ALLEDGED crimes (according to the media) and/or misconduct (according to Clinton Portis). Believe it or not, there are actually a few parallels to what happened to me and my boys last April, I thought I’d POINT OUT (to you two MORONS).

Vick is getting his butt KICKED in the media, just like Duke did last spring. But in the Vick case, unlike our little situation, there is reportedly actually some EVIDENCE (I know you don’t’ know what that is, but Google it) that links him to dog fighting. In addition, unlike our problem, there are actually EYE WITNESSES (Again, Google it) who claim to have actually seen (with their own EYES, if you can believe that?) Vick at said dog fights. Of course, we didn’t have any evidence or any eyewitnesses, but, you know, whatever…

Here’s where it gets really CRAZY. And I do mean CRAZY.

VICK has a contract with Nike. You’ve heard of them, right? So this week while the investigation is still PENDING and no actual ARRESTS have been made, the president of the Humane Society called on Nike and others to drop Vick. In case you don’t remember, this is called GRANDSTANDING. If you call for Nike to cut ties after Vick is arrested or convicted, you won’t get much press, but if you do it now, people will talk/read about you just like we are doing right now. Of course, another way to GRANDSTAND is to FIRE the coach when there isn't ANY evidence, but that's another story...

So what does Nike do? The answer will SHOCK you, and I do mean SHOCK YOU! Here’s what Nike said…"He is rightfully presumed innocent and afforded the same due process as any citizen, rather than be tried in the court of public opinion.”

WHAAAATTTTT?????? OK, the grammar isn’t great, but surely even you two GET the POINT?

Hit the rewind button, PLEASE…He is rightfully PRESUMED INNOCENT and afforded DUE PROCESS….

Tha’ts CRAZY talk.

Can you believe that S&%@?

Sincerely,
Mike Pressler
Head Lacrosse Coach
Bryant College
Somewhere in Rhode Island (wherever that is)

P.S. Bryant College RULES, go F&#% yourself. If you don’t know what F&#% stands for, go ask Krsjchvbsnd4ski, he'll know.

PICTURE OF THE DAY

THE PHANTOM DOUBLE PLAY... Second baseman Aaron Luna #9 of the Rice Owls slides into a double-play as Second baseman Garrett Gore #4 of the North Carolina Tar Heels watches shortstop Josh Horton #12 toss the ball to first base during the Tar Heels 6-1 win. The Heels executed the phantom double play so perfectly they actually made second base disappear.

(Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 2

UMMM, RICE DUDE, TAKE YOUR HAND OFF MY BUTT...North Carolina's Garrett Gore, left, is safe as he gets tangled with Rice shortstop Brian Friday at second base in the fourth inning of College World Series baseball elimination game.

(Photo by Dave Weaver/AP Photo)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 3

THE BEAVERS RETURN TO THE COLLEGE WORLD SERIES. The Oregon State Beavers (slightly off-white uniforms with sweater vest) defeated the University of California at Irvine Anteaters (slightly-off white uniforms, no sweater vest) to advance to the College World Series against UNC. For some unknown reason, the final game of the series was played at The Riverside in Chester-le-Street in north east England.

(Photo by Paul Ellis/FP/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 4

WE THOUGTH WE'D SHOW BIKE RACING A LITTLE LOVE...The pack rides during the 142 Km between Lienz to Monte Zoccolan in the seventeenth stage of the Giro d'Italia cycling race back in May. Italy's Gilberto Simoni won the stage and, at the time, Danilo Di Luca held the Pink jersey of the overall leader. Pink? Nice, Danilo, NICE!

(Photo by Filippo Monteforte/AFP/Getty Images)

PICTURE OF THE DAY 5

WITH APOLOGIES TO PROF ALLEN AT FURMAN, BUT THIS IS KIND OF FUNNY…Tracey Hawkins of Sonora, California expresses her sentiments in support of Floyd Landis as he competed in the Trek Hill Climb up Vail pass as a multi-sport team member for Athletes For A Cure during the Teva Mountain Games earlier this month. Rumor has it that, Hawkins is close with Duke potty-mouth coach Mike Krzxjkfvmmbh9ski.

(Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

NIFONG DISBARRED

District Attorney Mike Nifong was disbarred Saturday for his "selfish" rape prosecution of three Duke University lacrosse players -- a politically motivated act, his judges said, that he inexplicably allowed to fester for months after it was clear the defendants were innocent.

"This matter has been a fiasco. There's no doubt about it," said F. Lane Williamson, the chairman of the three-member disciplinary committee that stripped the veteran prosecutor of his state law license.

Even Nifong and his attorneys supported the decision, though the veteran prosecutor refused to admit to the end that no crime occurred at a March 2006 lacrosse team party.

“Hell will freeze over before you convince me that there wasn’t a crime committed,” said Nifong.

A crime…probably -- maybe more than one. A felony? Hmmm…that’s a very different story as we now know.

NIFONG TOSSED UNDER BUS

...where he belongs.

A judge suspended District Attorney Mike Nifong effective immediately today after learning the prosecutor disbarred for his handling of the Duke lacrosse rape case intended to stay in office for another month.

The sheriff immediately stripped Nifong of his badge and the keys to his office.

There is probable cause to believe that Nifong "has engaged in willful misconduct in office and conduct prejudicial to the administration of justice, which brings the office into disrepute," Superior Court Judge Orlando Hudson wrote in his order.

Ouch.

DUKE SETTLES WITH PLAYERS

Duke University has reached an undisclosed financial settlement with three former lacrosse players falsely accused of rape.

Duke had suspended Reade Seligmann, Collin Finnerty and Dave Evans after they were charged last year with raping a stripper at an off-campus party. The university also canceled the team's season and forced their coach to resign.

"We welcomed their exoneration and deeply regret the difficult year they and their families have had to endure," the school said Monday in a statement. "These young men and their families have been the subject of intense scrutiny that has taken a heavy toll."

The players made a joint statement following the announcement. WHAT THEY SAID: They said that they hoped the agreement would "begin to bring the Duke family back together again."

WHAT THEY MEANT: “F%#& YOU!!!!”

We don’t mean to beat a dead horse, but how about a settlement for Mike Pressler? Anybody?