Saturday, March 24, 2007

THIS JUST IN: UNC IS A VERY DEEP TEAM

(Hey, you know we are fans of AOL FanHouse ACC Basketball Blog, and their main guy, Sportz Assasin, nailed last night’s game. Simply put, we could do no better. Here it is verbatim.)

Posted Mar 24th 2007 3:17AM by Sportz Assassin

If you have watched North Carolina three NCAA tournament wins, you've noticed a trend. One bad one is that the Heels allow their opponents to dominate the middle section of the game ... but ultimately, UNC's depth gets them out of the jam.

So was the scene in New Jersey on Friday night. Carolina was down 49-33 in the second half of their Sweet 16 game with USC [by the way, to you Gamecock fans, no one else thinks of you when they say "Carolina" or "USC". No one]. The Trojans were dominating the Tar Heels, going on a 15-0 run, breaking down their defenders and shutting down Tyler Hansbrough and Tywon Lawson. UNC could do nothing right. Southern Cal was celebrating, popping their jerseys out and having a good time. Then, they got tired.

The fatigue showed itself in a variety of ways. The defense of USC, which was quick everywhere during their dominance, suddenly was slow to react and stockpiling fouls. They were dominating the boards ... until UNC started killing the offensive glass, ending up with 19 offensive boards. They started to turn the ball over, slacking off and crying to the officials.

Of course, UNC's depth had something to do with that. While USC slowed down, Carolina kept the same speed. But, that isn't news - they've been doing that all year. But this is the Sweet 16 against a hot team who just bulldozed Texas last weekend. And this was, basically, without Reyshawn Terry who played sparingly due to strep throat. And they erased that 16-point Trojan lead with Tyler Hansbrough scoring 5 points and Ty Lawson scoring 4. Those two shot a combined 3-of-16 from the field!!! What other team could have their top two scorers shut down and still make a 41-15 run to end the game?

THE NUMBERS DON’T LIE

All the pundits that touted UNC all year cited two important attributes – talent and depth. Then the Heels hit a little rough patch in February losing two of three, and in spite of throttling arch rival Duke (and that pantie-waist Irish Julia McRoberts who can’t get the best of a guy 6” shorter – that was for you JB), and winning the ACC tournament impressively, folks jumped off the band wagon like it was on fire , or, scarier still, like somebody asked angry Tim Floyd about self-recruiting phenom O.J. Mayo…

Nonetheless, check out these numbers from last night’s game. Aside from the obvious 19 offensive rebounds which was how the Heels decided to counter USC’s very effective D on Psycho T, the bench statistics are very telling. USC: 27 minutes for their bench guys, 0 points, 9 rebounds. UNC: 42 minutes, 22 points, 12 rebounds. Total the Tar Heels had 45 rebounds.

For what it's worth, the moving screen call against USC late was weak, but Floyd's explosion was just plain dumb. We don't think the Trojans were going to catch up, but that sealed the deal. Guess Floyd was still mad at Wilbon who torched him over the Mayo recruiting scenario.

UNC STUDENT MASCOT HIT BY SUV

(You know we hate serious news, but we thought you should know.)

From ENPN: EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. -- The student who wears the North Carolina mascot uniform was in critical condition Friday after being hit by a car while walking on a highway shoulder outside a hotel.

Jason Ray, a senior from Concord, N.C., was to have performed inside the Rameses costume during Friday night's East Regional semifinal between the Tar Heels and Southern California. He was injured while walking in the afternoon in Fort Lee, a few miles from the Meadowlands complex where the game was played.
Ray was taken to Hackensack Medical Center, the school said. His parents were en route to the hospital.

According to the Newark Star-Ledger, Tar Heels coach Roy Williams addressed the incident before fielding questions in his postgame news conference Friday.
"I've just been told about mascot [prior to the post-game news conference], that he was hit by a car this afternoon, and our prayers go our and we hope that things look better than they look right now," said Williams, in the Newark Star-Ledger. "It sort of makes everything else pale in comparison to that -- a youngster to have something like that happen.”

The Fort Lee police said Ray was walking on the shoulder of Route 4 when he was hit by a 2006 Mercury Mountaineer driven by 51-year-old Gagik Hovsepyan of Paramus. Hovsepyan called the police and aided Ray, hit while returning to the Fort Lee Hilton after purchasing food at a convenience store. The accident is under investigation and no charges have been filed. Police said Hovsepyan had a valid license and didn't appear to be under the influence of alcohol or narcotics.

SORRY, SETH

What were we thinking? Apologies to Seth Davis who originally made the same blunder we did. Of course, the clock runs until the ball hits something out of bounds. If it didn’t players couldn’t leap over the line and throw it back into play.

Luckily, a sports savvy lawyer buddy straightened us out. With that in mind, if you do yesterday’s math calculation and measure the time from when the ball hit the Memphis kid until it hit the bench/scorer’s table (can’t remember which), the refs were spot on.

Still, we think Seth picked USC (like all the other talking heads) so we will only grovel so much.

SORRY, CBS

After complaining that CBS was schilling for the NCAA, the March Madness boys whoop us all up side the head by coming back after the Georgetown game and pointing out that the refs missed a travelling call on the game winning shot (right). With all that as precedent, we figured we were having an off day and the Tar Heels were doomed.

Luckily, yet again, we were wrong. Still, their studio guru Clark Kellog picked the Trojans, so see above re: grovelling.

HOW ‘BOUT THEM DUCKS?

Anybody? Does anybody know anything about Oregon? Anybody? Didn’t think so.

Here’s all we know, they keep winning. They’ve got a kid named Tajaun Porter who lit up UNLV for 33. The Ducks shot 56% from behind the arc while Kruger’s guys shot 26%. That will usually do it. Hoya star Jeff Green made a clutch shot to beat Vandy. He did appear to travel, but their were so many legs involved (he was double teamed), we didn’t see it in real time and evidently neither did the refs. Hibbard was in foul trouble most of the second half. Don’t look now, but Florida is good. They are quietly working their way through their bracket not unlike UNC did in 2005.

PICTURE OF THE DAY

NO WONDER the Big 10 has struggled in the tournament, they've got some bad mascots. Nice nut on your head Brutus Buckeye (left). Tubby traded in Ashley Judd for this? (center) The worst of them all, the dreadful Bucky Badger (right). Maybe it's the stripes the Badgers stole from the Hoosiers?

PICTURE OF THE DAY 2


WOW!

Friday, March 23, 2007

WE’D RATHER BE LUCKY THAN GOOD, BUT WOULD PREFER TO BE BOTH

Enter Ohio State and Memphis, two good teams that were lucky to escape close games last night. OSU lucky to escape its last two…

Think for a moment about all the ACC basketball games you watch in the course of a season…How many come down to free throws with less than 10 seconds to play. Plenty of them when one team is chasing another, but how many tied or one point games are settled by a very late foul call. We don’t know what your recollection might be, but ours is simple: not many. So, it’s a bit disappointing when two great games are settled in the final seconds by free throws. It is especially disappointing if you are Tennessee and you don’t get a call on the last shot when the Buckeyes enjoyed a similar one just seconds earlier.

The Salukis just didn’t have enough gas in the tank to beat Kansas who played like North Carolina. In a half court game you can get the best of them for a while, but they can flash just enough brilliance at you to win. UCLA can win as long as their guards continue to produce. They’re like Virginia, only better. Pittsburgh’s offense checked out. Like VaTech, only worse. You had to know the Vols would go mental in the second half and OSU would comeback. Who figures Texas A&M’s best guy misses a layup that ultimately costs them the game?

WAS SETH TALKING ABOUT DARTS?

First of all, did the NCAA send CBS a memo, a la those nice golf men in Augusta re: The Masters, saying “you will NOT criticize the officiating.” Say what you will about cantankerous Billy Packer, at least he has the _______(fill in the blank) to question calls. He may be cranky, he may be wrong, but he calls ‘em like he sees ‘em. Not so the rest of the CBS crew.

And what exactly was Seth Davis talking about last night? After the clock ruling at the end of the Texas A&M/Memphis game, he said the refs got the call wrong. Later he came back on and said he was “wrong” and that the clock doesn’t stop until the ball “touches someone out of bounds.” Is he sharing the pipe with Josh McRoberts? According to Seth’s butt covering interpretation, one can stand near the sideline and throw the ball through the invisible (and I though clock stopping) plane that marks a little something we call “out of bounds,” and the clock continues to run until the ball travels 50 yards and lands in Herman Glcokenspiel’s lap in row RR seat 23. In a word: Nonsense.

At first blush, the referees’ explanation seems flawed. They said, in a written post game explanation that John Calapari was waving around like it was the Declaration of Independence, that they took a stop watch and timed how long it was from when the errant pass hit the Memphis kid and when it went out of bounds. According to the stop watch that was 1.1 seconds. Hmmmm.

Look, we’re crap at estimating distance and keeping our eyes on the ball (ask our golf partners), but this really shouldn’t be that complicated. Let’s approach it like a math problem, something else at which we aren’t so great. Working backward and giving the distance variable the benefit of the doubt – the ball travels six feet from the Memphis dude to the sideline. At what speed is the ball traveling if it goes six feet in 1.1 seconds (if a similar ball left the station in Boston traveling southeast on parallel tracks in the rain after eating a box of chocolate donuts during the SATs)?

The equation looks like this: Feet per second (fps) = mph x 1.4667 or if you don’t like that you can multiply fps x 0.6818 = mph. Either way the answer to the question of “at what speed does a basketball need to be going (when thrown from approximately 30 feet away – an important variable in the whole distance, velocity, time warp, extra dimension equation) in order to travel six feet?

Let’s rewind to the Clemsongate Duke clock incident. When ESPN timed Clemson’s three pointer to tie the game, it took 2.236 seconds to inbound the ball and make the shot. So let’s say it took 1.8 seconds for the ball to travel from Hamilton’s hand 19 feet to the rim or approximately 10.5 feet per second from shooter to hoop. 10.5 x .6818 = 7.1 mph.

Now, rewind again to last night -- the Memphis guy touches the ball which then travels six feet in a little more than one second (according to the refs). So that ball is traveling at 6 x .6818 = 4.09 mph. Obviously, if the Memphis player is farther from the sideline, the ball has to be travelling faster to reach said sideline if the time is constant.

Moral of the story? It seems more likely that about .6 to .75 seconds expired, but considering how fast the game moves and all the other variables, it was not such a bad call after all.

However, we still don’t’ know what the hell Seth was talking about…

USC’S FLOYD INSULTS JPJA, ALL OF WAHOO NATION

Yesterday, during his East Regional NCAA press conference, USC head coach Tim Floyd hurled down the gauntlet at the University of Virginia and its now famous $130 million John Paul Jones Arena. During the press conference, Floyd said, “We have the most expensive – at $147 million – basketball facility in the country.” He was referring the 10,258 seat Galen Center that opened in October of 2006 and how it helps the Trojans recruit with rival UCLA just nine miles down the road.

In the works for many years, the final push to build the new facility began in 2002, when
Louis Galen, a successful banker and long time Trojan fan, and his wife Helen donated $10 million to the cause immediately after USC football quarterback Carson Palmer won the 2002 Heisman Trophy. Chump change by Jones standards, and USC had to sell the basketball court to some guy named Jim Sterkel. Weird. Here’s why. Sterkel played for USC for two unremarkable seasons in the 1950s, averaging only 10 points a game. When the deal went down, the Sterkel family was not aware that the court was named after their late relative until after the facility had already opened. An anonymous donor and longtime friend of Sterkel made the $5 million dollar donation under the agreement that his name never be revealed.

Fourteen seconds later, Wahoo A.D. Craig Littlepage received an urgent phone call from UVa alum, lawyer, financier, philanthropist and JPJA developer John Paul Jones. According to sources close to the A.D.’s office, the Tennessee attorney was plenty hot.

Littlepage, the ultimate diplomat who clearly knows how to fleece a multi-millionaire, concluded the explosive phone call by extracting a promise from Jones to pay for $17.1 million in renovations for JPA thus boosting it’s total value to $147.1 million, and by convincing the JPJA’s namesake that someday the Hoos would have a Carson Palmer type QB who would actually win the Heisman Trophy. (Editor’s note: Littlepage was on the NCAA basketball tournament selection committee. There’s a reason UVa was a number four seed.)

According to the same sources the first “renovation” will be a trip to the Caribbean for Littlepage, Coach Dave “Stairway Out of the NCAA’s” Leitao and their families.

“Listen here, we’ve got 15,219 seats. Their damn place only has 10,258 seats, what’s the big deal?” said a flustered Littlepage. “Our place is named after a living, stinking rich alum while their place is named after a dead guy. How much more cash are they gonna get from that Sterkel stiff. Zip. Zero. Nada. Now get out of my office, I have to renew my passport.”

Note to self: It costs more to build stuff in L.A. than in C’ville -- $14,350 per seat in the City of Angels, and only $8,600 per seat in the central Piedmont.

RANDOM NOTES: DON KING AND THE POPE

Flamboyant boxing promoter Don King got a front row seat at Pope Benedict XVI's general audience in Vatican City on Wednesday. King gave the pope a green-and-gold boxing belt and a handwritten letter asking him to allow King to be the promoter of a series of matches between the Pontiff and four well-known athletes. The requested bouts, which according to King would help “contemporaryize” the church, would pit the 78-year-old Benedict XVI against Gerald Henderson, Ron Artest, PacMan Jones and Joey Porter. The fights would be held in…duh…Vegas.

The boys at the Daily Press are at it again: “Daywatch: Fireboat sinks/Homeless shelter had $1 million/New roller coaster.” Quality stuff.

There is still fallout from Operation Blindfold which ultimately led to the fall of the Virginia Tech Hokies. Seems as the Illinois athletic director is in trouble for yelling at coach Bruce Weber during the Illini’s opening round loss to the Hokies and calling one of the players an “idiot.” He wasn’t sitting in the tenth row, he was pounding his fist on the scorer’s table! (Oops) The powers-that-be at IU have found no fault with their A.D. saying his strong reaction was due to the fact that “he’s a fan.”
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/ncaatourney07/news/story?id=2807441

Seems as though NIT is hoopsixcon in some circle for “home court advantage.” All the #1 seeds advanced to the final four and 24 of 28 of the home teams won. Clemson will rep the ACC after knocking off Syracuse. The Tigers blew a 17 point lead, but held on in spite of missing 16 free throws. West Virginia, Air Force and Mississippi State round out the field.

OK, Red Sox Manny Crazy-irez has made news selling an autographed grill (supposedly not his, oh yeah, and he makes $20M a year) on e-bay to raise money to send his daughter on a field trip, but somebody one upped him by many lengths (hint), check it out…
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280093664984

SAY IT ISN'T SO, E-S-P-N-O SPELLS NO

You want hypocrisy, we’ll give you hypocrisy. Nobody in the media has given much exposure and or credibility to the Arena Football League which has been around more than 10 years. This is especially true at ESPN, which would seem to be the one place that the short fielders might get some air time. Not any more! Seems as the Boys In Bristol have purchased the broadcast rights which used to be held by NBC. Now it’s all good. Team owner Jon Bon Jovi of the Philadelphia Soul (shouldn’t that team be owned by Darryl Hall and John Oates?) was on Mike and Mike yesterday morning…and now even The Ocho loves arena ball. Doesn’t hurt that John Elway also runs a team. Mike and Mike went on to Philly to do the call of the Souls game last night.

According to the fellas at ESPN Page 2, NBA commish David Stern is looking to separate the NBA from hip hop culture. Really now? Is he crazy? Next thing you know he will be fining teams for talking about unnamed future NBA prospects? What? He already did that? You jukin’ us dude? What's next: No country music in Nascar, no metal or tattoos in the WWF, no gaps in teeth for boxers, no betting for Pete Rose, and, heaven forbid, no more Fleetwood Mac theme songs for Democrats? Oh, the humanity.

GROUNDHOG DAY WITH A NEW TWIST

Evidently Tubby Smith just couldn’t take it any more and he’s headed off to the frozen north to coach the Golden Gophers. Tubby, no doubt, grew weary of the second guessing by 1 million hoop crazed Wildcat fans who screamed for his head every time he won a non-conference game by less than twenty. Never mind how they reacted in not so race friendly Lexington when he lost a game. Besides who need Hollywood types stealing camera time at home games?

Like the football job at Alabama, the Kentucky job is fraught with peril. Good luck, somebody.

Maybe they should pay more attention to hockey?

NO KIDDING: THERE’S A WOMEN’S NIT

They say you learn something everyday, and by golly they’re right! We stumbled upon the women’s NIT…

The NCAA Women’s tournament Sweet 16 gets going again tomorrow. UNC, Duke and NC State are still in. 2006 NCAA Division 1 Women’s Basketball National Champions the University of Maryland Terrapins were eliminated by Ole Miss, a team they beat earlier in the year by 30. Thank you selection committee for playing the revenge card. Lady Terps didn’t help themselves with 29 turnovers.


Is that some kind of record?

Women's teams from UVA and VA Tech still in the WNIT.

PICTURES OF THE DAY

LET’S BE FRANK, it ain’t no party without our main man Chris “Party Central” Duhon.

PICTURES OF THE DAY 2

YO, DAMN, YA’LL, who invited JJ? The dude writes poetry...

PICTURES OF THE DAY 3

AND THEN you have your UNC boys. Marvin Williamas (top left) still looks like a young kid...oh yeah, he still is. Who ever thought David Noel (top right) would make it to NBA and wear a Flava-flav dog tag necklace? Yo stripe dude! You’re blockin’ my main man Sean May (bottom left) who’s wearing a tie! Williams, Felton, May and McCants (bottom right) lookin' sharp for the NBA draft.

Anybody seen Chris Duhon or Cherokee Parks? Partying with McRoberts, no doubt.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

NEWS FLASH: McROBERTS LEAVING DUKE

Duke forward Josh McRoberts has declared himself eligible for the 2007 NBA Draft that will be held on June 28 in New York City.

Irish Julia, put the crack pipe DOWN!


(What’s he thinking? Making yourself eligible is one thing, but according to ESPN he is hiring an agent so there is no coming back if he doesn't like his draft spot. Remember NBA rookies have a pay scale based on where they are drafted. Jay “Killus” Bilas says he’s making a mistake for two reasons: 1) he’s not ready, and 2) Durant and Oden are probably coming out.)

Oh well, we will REALLY miss him…

What McRobers said: “I am extremely grateful for the opportunities that I have had here at Duke,” said McRoberts. “This was a difficult decision, but I feel it is the best one for me and my family at this point in time. I will miss Duke, the coaching staff and my teammates but it has always been goal of mine to play in the NBA.”

What McRoberts meant: “I’ve always wanted to play in the NBA and I don’t give a s%#& about college. Playing at Duke sucks and Coach K is a miserable prick bastard.”

What Krzydkfhc4ski said: "In the past couple of days, I've had the opportunity to meet with Josh and his mother," said Duke head coach
Mike Krzyzewski. "We had great conversations and we are 100 percent behind his decision. Josh has been a terrific player for us for the past two years and he will be even better in the future as a professional. Based on our information, it is time for him to move on to the next level and we are ready to help him in any and every way during this process."

What Krzydkghbm5ski meant: “Yeah, I met with the worthless punk quitter and his bitch of a mom, and I can’t get the lazy, whining, chicken-s&%# cry-baby out of here fast enough. He’s the next Danny-effing-Ferry. Good luck, chump.”

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

YOUTUBE ARCHIVE OF THE DAY


Chris Farley as Christian Laettner...need we say more?

Check it out at YouTube:

SOME ARCHIVES

02/28/2005
WAKE FOREST SNEAKS PAST VIRGINIA 90-68

Cavs openly argue on the court. Wake fans chant “ECU, ECU” behind Virginia bench in reference to job opening at East Carolina (not kidding). Gillen admits UVA no longer a national power, “but, we are still a bit above average here in the Commonwealth. I mean we aren’t quite as good as Tech (14-11) and Hampton (14-11), and we really can’t run with Old Dominion (25-5), VCU (17-11) and George Mason (16-12). However, we are a wee bit better than VMI (9-18), Radford (12-15), Richmond (12-13) and Norfolk State (12-12), and we can kick the livin’ snot out of of JMU (6-12), William & Mary (7-20) and Longwood (1-29). Oh yeah, we could really whip up on Longwood…"







03/09/05
CATS COACH SMITH COMMITS TO UVA

University of Kentucky coach Tubby Smith and UVa A.D. Craig Littlepage will announce at a pre-Final Four press conference tomorrow that Smith will be the next coach at UVA. Wahoo Nation ecstatic. Dr. Harkaway Wahoo seen running naked through the streets screaming “Final Four, Final Four.” Alumni promise to purchase Monticello for new coach.

MORE ARCHIVES

02/10/05
DEVILS DESPERATELY CLING TO NARROW HOME VICTORY OVER CLEARLY SUPERIOR TAR HEELS

In spite of 23 turnovers and 4 of 13 shooting from treyville, Heels have a chance to win on final shot when normally savvy point guard suffers from "brain freeze." Kxzweiduutkhjki blames narrow victory on officials, tsunami, McDonalds, Michael Jackson, Martha Stewart and Super Bowl MVP Deon Branch. Tom Brady relieved.

03/07/05
EVEN WITHOUT STAR PLAYER, CLEARLY SUPERIOR TAR HEELS EASILY DISPATCH OF DUKE 75-73
Hot shooting Devils puke-up nine point lead in last three minutes. Heels hold Reddick scoreless in second half. Tar Heel's Sean May has 26 points, 23 rebounds. Duke's Sheldon Williams has 25 points, 6 blocks and 26 personal fouls. Refs only call four. Coach Krmbolgpexski blames narrow loss on Charlie Everett, Raymond Felton, Brooks Foster, Damion Grant, Jesse Holley, C.J. Hooker, Jackie Manuel, Sean May, Rashad McCants, Wes Miller, David Noel, Byron Sanders, Melvin Scott, Reyshawn Terry, Quentin Thomas and the officials.

PICTURES FOR TWO DAYS

THE FAMILY THAT TATOOS TOGETHER, STAYS TOGETHER...Nice, Cherokee, NICE! Cherokee Bryan Parks was born October 11, 1972 in Huntington Beach, CA. A former NBA player, he was drafted in the first round in 1995 by the Dallas Mavericks. He also played for the Timberwolves, Grizzlies, Clippers, Spurs, Wizards and Warriors. He attended Duke, winning the National Championship as a freshmen and graduating with a degree in history. He is a member of the NBA White Guy All-Tatoo Team. He is the brother of former Nashville Pussy bassist Corey Parks who is now in a band called Die Hunn.

We don’t know, and don’t want to know, who the other guys are.

PICTURE FOR TWO DAYS 2

THIS IS FUNNY, if not terribly accurate. The UNC v. NC State all-time basketball tally stands at UNC 134, NC State 74. Prior to the Wolfpack’s win in Raleigh this year, UNC had won eight of the last nine games going back to 2004. Football? The two teams first played in 1894 and UNC has the best of this series as well - 62-27-6. Not even close. To make matters worse, during the recent lean times in Chapel Hill football, the Tar Heels defeated the Pack in 2004, 2005 and 2006. A small matter that no doubt played a role in the demise of Chuck Amato. If only Butch Davis wore white sunglasses...

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

BIG BIG GUY, BIG BAD CALL?

Don’t look now but there is some lingering controversy left over from the weekend, and it’s centered around the two best college players in the country. The more you watch it, the more it seems the refs blew the end of the Xavier/Ohio State game. Greg Oden commits a hard foul http://ohio-state-basketball.aolsportsblog.com/forward/854959/ that certainly could have been called a flagrant or intentional foul. CBS tried to apologize for the call, saying Oden was going for the ball. Yes, he was...just like Gerald Henderson.

Look, we aren’t conspiracy folks, but it does seem that the favorites get the calls at times...So you decide. Yes, the players are big and fast and it's hard to see everything, but...It's almost like the umpires who called strikes on any Nolan Ryan pitch that was close to the strike zone. They readily admitted that it was going too fast to see, but they relied on the simple fact that it “sounded like a strike.”

If called properly, Xavier gets 2 shots and the ball. Game Over. Oden even said: “"I just look at that foul as, they're going to call bull crap fouls I might as well get one that's hard." Conversely, Jay Bilas said the kid took “a flop.” Huh? He got pushed by a guy that's bigger than a Yugo. Don’t tell us Jay Killus has gone all establishment?

CONSTITUTIONAL FREEDOMS - NBA STYLE

Good news is we can talk about Greg Oden and Kevin Durant and not get fined. That’s because we don’t work for or own an NBA team. Over the weekend, the David Stern Basketball Association slapped a $30,000 fine on the Celtics because Danny Ainge sat next to Kevin Durant’s mother during an Big 12 tourney game, and a $15,000 fine on Bobcat’s part-owner Michael Jordan for making comments without mentioning either players name. Huh?

Maybe there is a rule that says anybody representing an NBA team can’t say anything publicly about any kid in college, but it’s a dumb rule. We wouldn’t pay either fine. Feel free to litigate...It’s not like Ainge or Jordan can recruit either Durant or Oden. There is gonna be a lottery, somebody is gonna get the first and second pick and those two are gonna get drafted. Done. End of story.

On the other hand, maybe the NFL needs some new rules:
1) NFL players are prohibited from going to Las Vegas and throwing $80,000 at exotic dancers in a gentleman’s club and then asking for the money back. (PacMan Jones Reverse Make It Rain Rule).
2) NFL players are prohibited from going to Las Vegas after signing a $20 million contract and getting into a fist fight with a Cincinnati Bengal. (Joey Porter: Yo! The Bengals Are No Longer Your Rival, You Now Play For The Dolphins, Stupid! Rule.)
3) The Cincinnati Bengals are under house arrest 24/7. (Common Sense Rule #1.)

Problem solved.

UNC ACCIDENTALLY CLONES REYSHAWN TERRY

In a bizarre accident, verified by the photos at right released to the media yesterday by the University of North Carolina Athletic Department, a division the UNC science department accidentally cloned Tar Heel senior forward Reyshawn Terry. To make matters worse they then morphed the new Reyshawn into Brandon Wright – a move that the significantly hurts the Tar Heels. Terry is 6’6” and Wright is 6’9” with a 7’ wing span. According to Dr. Mike Klon-Krzydgfvbm8ski, the accident occurred at the UNC’s Mutant Mouse Resource Center. The purpose of this center (allegedly) is to provide the research community with genetically modified mice of known health status. “I’m not saying we clone mice,” said Dr. Klon-Kryxkdrsh4ski, “because even though it’s cheaper and more predictable, we don’t do that for obvious reasons, but if we did, and we didn’t, it might explain what happened when Reyshawn and Brandon wandered in on a biology field trip.”

In an awkward attempt to cover up this incredible blunder, Dr. Klon-Krzychfsdas5ski renamed the original Reyshawn Terry, Reyshawn Reyshawn and the new cloned replacement version of Wright, Reshawn Wright. This error is also confirmed by the released photos.

UNC’s mascot Rameses VXCIIIXa-2(b) (
http://www.ibiblio.org/mascot/) has long been rumored to be involved in the Molly the sheep cloning incident. As of 9:00 a.m. this morning the UNC Athletic Department had not corrected the mistake.

THE ARCHIVES: FEBRUARY 3, 2006

UNIDENTIFIED HOOP STAR MAY SMOKE POT?
A Roanoke, Virginia man currently averaging 27.9 points per game for a major basketball powerhouse, allegedly called police to report the theft of a quarter-pound of marijuana. For some unknown reason, the man, who enjoys writing poetry and is majoring in history and minoring in cultural anthropology at a Durham, North Carolina university, was not arrested even after the police recovered the bag of pot and then invited the young man (who’s 91.9 percent free throw shooting set a record) to come to the Public Safety Building to identify it.

The unidentified young man who is 6’ 4” tall and weights 190 lbs. called police on Monday evening after he returned home and found that someone had broken a window, got cut on the glass, and crawled into the house. The still unidentified young man who was one of five finalists for the 2005 Wooden Award and named 2005 All-America first team by the National Association of Basketball Coaches, the U.S. Basketball Writers Association, Associated Press, Sports Illustrated.com, College Insider.com and Rivals.com then told police the only thing missing was the quarter-pound of marijuana he was planning on selling to pay for the other quarter-pound he was currently smoking.

The unidentified young man who was named 2005 National Player of the Year, All-Rolls Royce first team, Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC) Player of the Year and All-ACC by Dick Vitale (that’s a hint) also told officers that earlier in the day a man had called him about buying some marijuana, but he declined as he was still in Boston following a conference game.

The still unidentified young man who led the Cave Spring High School to the 2002 AAA state championship and averaged 28.3 points per game in the process and who finished his prep career as Virginia's all-time AAA leading scorer with 2,215 career points, gave the police the man’s name.

Officers found the man (who oddly enough played high school ball with Duke All American J.J. Redick) at his mother's home. He had a cut on his arm and blood-soaked pants. Police also recovered six ounces of marijuana. The Redick ex-teammate was arrested for investigation of burglary, theft and possession of marijuana in a drug-free zone with intent to distribute.

As previously mentioned, the 2002 A.P. Virginia Player of the Year, three-time Gatorade Virginia Player of the Year, the 2002 Virginia Mr. Basketball winner, the McDonald's All-America, the Parade Magazine All-America and the Most Valuable Player of the 2002 McDonald's All-America Game who also won the McDonald's 3-point shooting competition was (mysteriously) not arrested.

Duke head coach Mike Kryzxcvcxcvxcv2ski said, “I have no idea who you are talking about, but honesty is a critical component of LEADERSHIP, and I stress that.”

PICTURE OF THE DAY

FORMER UNC point guard Raymond Felton was known for his speed on the court much like current point guard Ty Lawson. While no faster, he has become a very good NBA pro with the Charlotte Bobcats. He is also well known as a Tupac Shakur look alike. In this picture, he’s looking a bit like the late great Tupac that fateful night in Vegas, and right about now we think we might be able to whip Ole Ray in a foot race.

PICTURE OF THE DAY 2

FORMER DUKE guard Chris Duhon was known as a party guy when he was in college. So who gives him millions and expects things to change?

Monday, March 19, 2007

AND THEN THERE WAS ONLY ONE


The ACC had seven teams make the NCAA tournament - the most of any conference in the nation. However, after 1/3 of the tournament is over ... only the Tar Heels remain. Virginia, Virginia Tech, Boston College and Maryland all lost their 2nd round match-ups. Duke and Georgia Tech couldn't get out of the first round. This is the first time since 1979 that less than two ACC teams were in the Sweet 16. The ACC is now 6-6 in the tournament and needs another Carolina win to keep alive the ACC's streak of non-losing NCAA tournaments [currently 20 years]. UNC needs two more wins to avoid this being the first time since 1979-80 that an ACC team failed to make the Final Four in consecutive seasons.

Duke's vaunted defense folded down the stretch against VCU and all those white legs simply ran out of steam. Virginia couldn't find someone other than JR Reynolds to score for them. Virginia Tech's offense was MIA the entire tournament. Maryland's players and coaches completely fell apart against Butler especially late in the game. Georgia Tech's youth showed up against UNLV. Boston College did make a valiant effort against Georgetown.

All in all, a pretty poor effort. All the pre-season pundits said the PAC10 was the best conference, and this go round they look like they’re right. The Pac-10 and the SEC each have three teams still alive. The Big XII and Big East have two teams each.

What does all of this mean? In the grand scheme of things, nothing. There remains only one lingering important question: Who’s gonna win in the next round?

OPERATION BLINDFOLD NOT A SUCCESS

In an unprecedented, and quite frankly kind of weird, gesture of sportsmanship the University of Virginia Cavaliers donned blindfolds in honor of their in-state rival the Virginia Tech Hokies. Like doomed prisoners headed for the firing squad, both squads wore the blindfolds for their second round games on Sunday. Both teams lost.

“Look, we can’t shoot any worse, it worked out nicely in practice so I thought we’d give it a shot/clank,” said Hokie head man Seth Greenberg. “This is new territory for us. We’re away from the John Paul Jones Arena and I thought it would be a nice gesture,” said Dave Leitao. “Hell, J.R. Reynolds is the only guy we have who seems to know where the basket is, so we didn’t have much to lose. Besides Tennessee is a football school.”

Both schools tallied rather unimpressive offense stats on the way to being eliminated. “I don’t think the blindfolds had anything to do with it,” said Greenberg.

TENNESSEE TURNS BACK UVA

JaJuan Smith led a second-half comeback, Chris Lofton made one free throw after another in the final seconds and the Volunteers held off Virginia 77-74 Sunday in the second round of the NCAA tournament. Virginia couldn't get one more shot out of its fabulous guard tandem at the end.

Point guard Sean Singletary missed a 3-pointer with 1 second left, then fell to the floor and rested his forehead on the court in dismay as Virginia (21-11) watched its top two scorers come up empty.

Virginia shot 37.5% from the field, but only 26% from behind the arc (7-26).
Singletary was 1 for 7 from threepointville and Mamadi Diane was 0 for 4. The Cavs did stick it from the free throw line making 31 of 36. After the game Singletary said, “Hey, it took Tyler Hanzorobrough a couple of games to get used to the mask, so it only makes sense that its gonna take me a few games to get used to the blindfold.”

Singletary, a junior, has no more games this season.

SALUKIS RUN BY HAPLESS HOKIES

Virginia Tech's NCAA Tournament run came to an end Sunday afternoon as Southern Illinois used a big run at the end of the first half to take the lead and never trailed again, knocking off the Hokies 63-48. The loss marked the end of an incredible season for the Hokies, who finished with a 22-12 overall mark. The Hokies, bidding to become the first Tech team since the 1966-67 team to advance to the Sweet 16, fell to 6-8 all time in the NCAA Tournament.

In their defense, just three weeks ago before they lost their conference tournament final, the Sweating Illini were ranked #6 in the country. Their superior play, and the blindfolds were surely the Hokies undoing.


Tech’s offense in both NCAA games was putrid. Against Southern Illinois they shot 15% from behind the three-point line on 2 of 13 shooting. While the Salukis had four players in double figures, the Hokies were dolling out a whopping 3 assists.

Just to prove how well the blindfolds didn’t work, Tech scored a red hot, scorching 20 points in the first half. That’s an incredible one point per minute average. By way of reference, during the regular season UNC averaged 2.2 points per minute per game. By the 15 minute mark remaining in the second half, incredibly the Hokies had managed to maintain this blistering pace with 25 total points. Believe it or not, from there they got better. After 30 minutes, Tech had 32 points – that’s 1.06 points per minute, and by games end these offensive over achievers had even boosted that amazing number – all the way to 48 points for an average of 1.15 points per minute!

Unbelievable…Gotta be the blindfolds. Normal kids can’t rack up stats like that on their own.

WHO'S NEXT?

Monday March 19, 2007 - NIT
7:00 pm Mississippi Clemson ESPN

Tuesday March 20, 2007 - NIT
9:00 pm N.C. State West Virginia

Thursday March 22, 2007
7:10 pm Southern Ill. #4 Kansas #1
7:27 pm Texas A&M #3 Memphis #2
9:40 pm Pittsburgh #3 UCLA #2
9:57 pm Tennessee #5 Ohio St. #1

Friday March 23, 2007
7:10 pm Butler #5 Florida #1
7:27 pm Vanderbilt #6 Georgetown #2
9:40 pm UNLV #7 Oregon #3
9:57 pm Southern Cal #5 North Carolina #1

CHICKS! GOD BLESS 'EM, THEY CAN PLAY

Hey look a rugby scrum...When we first saw this photo we thought the Duke women were trying to steal the ball from another Duke woman...Then we noticed there is an unfortunate Holly Crosser here being triple teamed. (1) Duke won the game 84-52. All the ACC teams won their opening games in the NCAA Women’s tournament. (1) UNC throttled Prarie View by 57 points. (2) Maryland defeated Harvard 89-65. (4) N.C. State won easily as well. (7) Georgia Tech had the only close game, winning 55-54 against De Paul and (10) FSU knocked off Tony’s girls from ODU 85-75.

PICTURE OF THE DAY

Cool photo by Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images.

PICTURE OF THE DAY 2

LEFT: These kids from Wisconsin can go home now and spend all this week getting that face paint off. CENTER: Yannick Noah watching his kid play and looking as pompous and bored as ever. Ten bucks says there’s a bunch of weed under the hat. RIGHT: Speaking of hats, this industrious Indiana fan took the bad warm-up pants and made a hat. Another bad Hossier-related decision.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

HANSZOROBROUGH SHEDS HIS MASK

You know that Duke (that little school that everybody loves, that lost to VCU in the opening round to VCU) is located in Durham, NC. Here's the headline from yesterday morning's Durham Herald Sun previewing the Michigan State-UNC matchup: "MSU a Team Full of Tylers." Um, not exactly. They do have a bunch of hard-nosed kids ‘cause that’s how Coach Tom Izzo does things, but the Spartans dindn’t have an answer for UNC’s unmasked Psycho T. Hansbrough hung 33 points, 9 rebounds and 2 asssists in 38 minutes on MSU. Don’t look now, but Carolina can win a tough, close game. Last night they did it rather impressively.

Having said that, the box score almost contradicts what we saw on the televison in a (thank you, CBS) virtually uniteruppted broadcast. UNC shot 48% from the field and made just 6 of 16 three pointers (37%). They did have 3 blocks to MSU's naught and 10 more rebounds. Drew Neitzel looks like a skin head with that bad hair cut, but he can flat play.

HOKIES PRACTICE WITH BLINDFOLDS

Head coach Seth “Irish Spring” O’Greenberg had his Virginia Tech Hokies practiced yesterday wearing blindfolds in preperation for the their game with the Southern Illinois Sweating Illini in today’s second round of the NCAA tournament. The Running Dogs from Carbondale, Illinois are favored by many to knock off the Techsters after last game’s horrific shooting performance. “Hey, after Deron fessed up to clanking the game winning shot of the board accidently,” said McGreenberg, “I decided maybe the whole team should try that. You want ugly, we’ll give you ugly.”

OK, by us, just win the damn game.

HAPPY ST. BUTLER'S DAY

From AOL Fanhouse ACC Basketball Blog:
Maryland had one heck of a run at the end of the regular season, winning 7 straight games. That included beating Duke twice and North Carolina once. However, since then, they lost to the last place team in the ACC [Miami] in the first round of the ACC Tournament, had a tough go-around with Davidson in the first round of the NCAA tournament ... then gets beat by the 5th seeded Butler Bulldogs, 62-59. If anything typifies Maryland's recent three season stretch [in which this is the only season they made the tournament], it was the final minute of this Butler game.

Maryland gave themselves a good chance to tie or take the lead by stealing an inbounds pass. However, they go down the floor and DJ Strawberry commits an offensive foul [a bad call, I might add] and never get a shot off. Now, down two, they play great defense for the entirety of the shot clock, only to give up an offensive rebound, resorting them to foul with under :04 remaining. After Butler hit the first free throw, Maryland rebounded the missed second shot and nearly got the ball stolen from them [Butler knocked it out of bounds]. On the final play, Mike Jones bobbled the pass, time runs out, and Maryland wasted another opportunity.

Now that is the Maryland we all know and love. A Terps team that just can't get it together. In a close game, the Terps missed 8 of 15 FTs, they forgot where their hottest shooter [Mike Jones] was, star DJ Strawberry goes 3-for-10 from the field and scores just 8 points and they turned the ball over 16 times…

Could not have said it better...so why try?

IT'S THE FREE THROWS, STUPID

Xavier’s Justin Cage had twenty-five points on perfect 8-for-8 shooting with three three-pointers. He was at the line with a two point lead with nine seconds to play against top seed Ohio State. He made the first, but missed the second. The Buckeyes made the most of it with a trey buzzer beater to send the game to overtime, and the rest, as they say, is history. Xavier and VCU both learned that Cinderella can’t stay out after midnight, and OT is pumpkin time…Louisville gave Texas A&M a good run. Indiana scored 13 points in the first half of their game against UCLA…that’s not a misprint…13 points. Favored Washington State got upset by somebody.

HEY, THEY'RE STILL PLAYING THE NIT!

That pesky other tournament is still at it and all the ACC teams have advanced. Florida State and NC State have advanced to the quarterfinals on their side of the bracket. Mississippi State and West Virginia are their opponents. On Monday, the other side gets sorted out. Clemson plays Ole Miss.

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