Wednesday, November 21, 2007

INJURYPALOOZA CANCELED

The first annual Turkey Bowl, a “flag, but flag always deteriorates into tackle” football game intended to devastate the bodies of a group of daring (idiotic) 40 to 50-year-old aging athletes (idiots), was mercifully cancelled when Fauquier Hospital informed Team Reeves Kaptain Mike “Kat” Reeves that the Emergency Room would be understaffed on Thursday and thus unable to handle a sudden influx of crippled/battered Tom Brady wanna-bes.

Rumor on the street had it that Team Chipman had a bounty (one year of free drinks at Molly’s) on Team Reeves QB Mike “Cannon Arm, but Slightly Insane” Reeves' head (and arm).

Captain Reeves sent this email message late Tuesday to the participants and the media:

I HAD TO CANCEL THE FIRST ANNUAL TURKEY BOWL DUE TO NOT THE WEATHER BUT DUE TO SOME LOCAL (radio edit)S AKA TEAM CHIPMAN. I FIGURE SINCE THEY GOT THEIR ASSES KICKED IN THE VP CUP THEY DID NOT WANT A PIECE OF MY CANNON OF A ARM. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO

TEAM REEVES 1-0

"Damn it, I thought Friday was gonna eclipse a record for gross receipts," said Dr. Doogie Wahoo, who recently moved to Kudpepper and is looking for new fish.

Sources close to TAH say that Reeves actually cancelled the game so he (and his family?) could spend the long Thanksgiving weekend lounging on Bobcat Corporation’s yacht – The Katbird – in the Caribbean.

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