Friday, October 12, 2007

FSU FOOTBALL TEAM TO DISBAND

FSU Athletic Director Dave Hart (pictured left) is rumored to be holding a press conference later today to announce that the Seminoles long-heralded football program will disband after breaking yet another long-held record last night against Wake Forest. Evidently, up until last night, Florida State had never lost a gridiron contest in Winston Salem.

Fact is, the Noles only lost half of this game, but that half was ugly. FSU dominated the first half taking a 14-0 lead behind stellar play from freshman QB Xavier Lee and a stingy defense that bottled up the Demon Deacons’ running game. The half included one of the most embarrassing 12 minutes in the history of ACC football when a penalty, a fumble, a different penalty, a change of possession and at least three different lines of scrimmage were the result of one punt play. The ACC crew of officials looked like something out of a Monty Python movie as they attempted (four times) to explain what happened and the eventual outcome.


Odds are they got it wrong. No doubt, it’s all on YouTube by now.

At halftime, a group of Wake alums led by Crutis Strange and Arnold Palmer kidnapped the entire FSU team and replaced them with Snow White and the 53 dwarves. Some how, Ms. White passed as Xavier Lee, and the dwarves all wore stilts which made them as tall as Seminoles, but not nearly as athletic.

Ms. White promptly threw two picks and was replaced by Dopey Weatherford for one series. The move, which apparently was designed to light a fire under White/Lee, didn’t work. The Noles put up 47 net rushing yards for the game.

Wake’s kicker Sam Swank (38) is a STUD. He nailed a 48 yard field goal with less than 2 minutes remining which slammed the coffin door shut on the Seminoles. He hasn't missed in '07.

Hart, who has been the FSU A.D. for 13 years now said he “never tires” of wearing the Native American attire or riding the white horse. “Just a great perk of my job,” said Hart.



Hart should seriously consider hiring at least one coach under the age of 60. Just one.

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