Monday, September 10, 2007


by JOHN CLARK - TAH Special Correspondent.

At least LSU was a good host, parachuting in 3 guys with one carrying a VT flag, and, for the first time in its 114 year history, the LSU marching band played the opposition's alma mater. Unfortunately for VT, that was the end of anything positive for the Hokies, and the game hadn't even started yet.

As I'm sitting on my porch enjoying a tasty heater, here's a transcript of an actual phone conversation between your humble
correspondent and our very own Sexy Rexy Cooper after LSU's first TD:

Me: "Uh, Sexy, VT is going to get crushed tonight."
Sexy: "C'mon, man, there's still 10:55 left in the FIRST QUARTER....oops, no, you're right."
Me: "Why?"
Sexy: "LSU just gained 50 yards on one play."
Me: "Ouch."

(Editor’s Note: For the second week in a row, our correspondent has yet again revealed that he wasn’t actually watching the game!)

Ouch is right, people of TAH. In the most lopsided loss since Beamer took the VT job in 1987, LSU was up 24-0 after the first 18 minutes. Tech was outgained 327 - 40 yards in the first half. In fact, VT didn't score until 4:38 was left in the third quarter, but anyone watching knew that no momentum shifted when they did score.

LSU's starting QB, Matt Flynn, led LSU to scores on four of its first five possessions. Not needing Mr. Flynn anymore, backup QB Ryan Perrilloux entered the game and put up 2 passing TDs. And the second one was to a freshman. Ouch.

LSU's sophomore RB, Keiland Williams, ran for 127 yards and 2 TDs. On SEVEN carries. That's an average of 18.1 yards per carry, folks. 18.1. Ouch. Where was VT's heralded D?

There is literally nothing to write that is positive for VT. This was complete domination. When recaps use phrases like "hapless Hokies" and "overwhelming performance," your team just didn't have a good night. VT only had 149 yards of total offense, a number that LSU doubled in the air alone. Is VT that bad, or is LSU that good? I think it is a combination of VT being overrated and LSU just being that good.

I'll hand it over to Coach Beamer now: "They really took it to us." No S!@&, Coach Beamer, No S!@&.

The ACC isn't looking so good so far this year. But let's move on.

Next week, break out your bow ties and your Zima: even though the best game will probably be GT v. BC, I'm going with UVA v. UNC. That game has more interest in our particular geographic area, and I don't want the Editor to have to write up the UNC game if they lose--he might have to find somewhere else to sleep.

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