Thursday, June 28, 2007

TEN EVENTS TO AVOID

Here are Mr. Caple's bottom 10:

1. The Super Bowl. The cost-to-enjoyment ratio is the highest in American sports for this overhyped, outrageously expensive event. You'll enjoy the game more on TV while saving your money for a far more rewarding experience. (Plus, you can only see the Lingerie Bowl on TV during the Super Bowl half-time -- not that you'd want to...)

2. NFL exhibition games. Why would anyone willingly buy tickets at full price for meaningless games in which the main objective is to play the starters only long enough not to get them hurt? The answer: No one. Which is why teams require that their season-ticket holders buy tickets for these miserable games.

3. NBA draft lottery. Drafts are bad enough, but at least players are actually picked there.

4. Baseball old-timers game. The desire to see your favorite player on the field again is understandable, but don't give in to the temptation. There is nothing worse than seeing a former hero so fat and out of shape that he can't bend over, let alone bend over to scoop up a grounder.

5. Pro Bowl. If you want to go to Hawaii, just go. No need to mix in your vacation with a game that not even the players chosen to play want to attend.

6. World Series of Poker. Poker is not a sport. It's gambling. And your money isn't on the line, so why would you care?

7. WWE. Real sports don't need scripts.

8. Rhythmic gymnastics. Is an explanation really necessary?

9. The Wing Bowl. The contestants may not feel like throwing up at this annual Philadelphia eating competition, but you will.

10. Dogfight night at Michael Vick's house. (Good one, yes?)

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