Friday, May 4, 2007


In yet another shocking announcement that is fallout from the investigation of Michael Vick’s drug selling, dog fighting cousin, it has been learned that the youngest Vick – Mar-vicious – is not a middle schooler, but, is, in fact, older than Greg Oden. Turns out Mar-vicious is really forty-two year old rapper, performance artist and jewelry maker Magic Juan pictured here on his way to a NBA All-Star game after-party with 50 Cent and KiLLa.

Mar-vicious Vick became internationally famous after an account was published in TAH of his arrest in Newport News last winter for “smoking pot while having sex with a minor in an airport after being stopped for speeding with a suspended license for transporting contraband in water bottles.” Mar-vicious, whom, up until now, was presumed to be sixth-grader, had spent the earlier part of the evening scoring 107 points in a 107 to 18 Gildersleeve Middle School basketball victory against heated rival Crittenden.

It was also noted that the youngest Vick, known to his friends as "Wrong Answer" after his mentor Allen "The Answer" Iverson, ran for 4,309 yards and passed for 5,987 yards for Gildersleeve’s football team last season in route to an 11-0 season and the Newport News Middle School Championsihp. Vick was also reported to be undefeated as a middle-school wrestler, and to have pitched a perfect game while hitting 9 home runs in the Little League World Series in 2005.

In spite of pending felony charges, and now the age scandal, Boston College, Virginia Tech, Miami and Florida State are still recruiting the Tidewater phenom.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: We don't normally recycle news, but with all the Vicks coming and going, how could we not?)

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