BLUE DEVILS PARALYZED BY FEAR

Central Connecticut State Blue Devils’ head coach Howie Dickenman (yep, that’s his real name) said his players were “terrified” by the pending legal action by the other white Duke. “My guys couldn’t even put their uniforms on they were so scared. They’re all from the Northeast and they know all about New Jersey lawyers and how things ‘get done’. Thanks Duke, thanks a lot.” The other Blue Devils didn’t put up much of a fight losing to top seed Ohio State.